Title: Circulation
Author:Elvichar
Archive:Yes. Please ask.
Rating: PG13/NC-17
Warnings: A little less than subtle perhaps.
Timeline: In Return of the Jedi - after Han has been rescued from Jabba the Hutt, before Yoda dies. You have to imagine the two events don't happen right after one another or this isn't going to work for you. Luke visits Yoda, this all happens, then he goes to see Yoda again. All right.
Summary: Slash. Luke's Jedi training cannot continue until he has exorcised some personal demons. Apparently the Jedi code says something about 'no passion only serenity.' Well I can't see that working. If fear leads to the dark side then surely each Jedi must deal with his or her own particular fear.
Disclaimer: Not my characters not my film.George Lucas' little baby.Obviously. All hail the great and powerful George.
Feedback: Love it -elvichar@yahoo.com
Circulation
by Elvichar
Part One
"Great courage it takes to give in to the force," Yoda tapped Luke's legs with his stick and walked around him. "Blocked you are."
Luke was standing tiptoe on one foot and trying desperately to balance the horny root of a waterplant on the edge of his index finger. With an impatient sigh he let go, returned to a firm two-footed stance and allowed the root to fall to the ground.
"This is stupid. Why are you making me pose like this - how is this going to help us to defeat Vader?"
"Not for Vader is this struggle." Yoda widened his eyes. The boy was not understanding.
"Well if it's not going to help the Alliance, why am I doing these things?" Luke starting pacing. This Jedi training was nothing like he imagined.
Yoda jabbed Luke in the ribs. "To be a great Jedi the Force must circulate - here," he jabbed again at Luke's heart, "and here," another prod at his head, "but most of all here."
Luke jumped back with a whelp as the gnarled stick caught him between the legs.
"What's that supposed to mean? Are you just trying to torment me?" Luke snarled. Before all this he would never have snarled, it just wasn't fitting.
"Ah - learning you are. Great passion it takes to be a Jedi."
"Passion? Is that what this is all about? I have passion, I..."Luke stopped. Why should he tell this little man about all the things he felt inside - how could any of it make a difference?
The image of Ben Kenobi appeared, "Luke you must not hold it in. Listen to your passions - act on them."
"Ben?" Obi Wan Kenobi had disappeared.
"Ah wise is he - much knowledge comes from those who loved. Ah, but he failed to act..."
"Failed to act? Are you saying Ben Kenobi loved once?" It was hard to imagine. For some reason Luke had always thought of the old man as eternally celibate.
"Ah long ago - and more than once. Many forms the dark side takes - if he had only spoke..."
"What happened?" Luke said breathlessly.
"Too long ago it is - but Padawan and master should not hold their secrets. Twice it happened and twice Kenobi failed to act. The Empire might not have risen..."
"Are you saying Ben Kenobi's love life influenced history?" Luke interrupted. It was a ridiculous notion - Yoda must be testing him for some strange reason.
"Ah catch on you do," Yoda nodded sagely.
"Wait -it makes no sense. Kenobi taught my father..."
"Anakin he knew, Vader he knew, taught by Qui-Gon was he... but all are lost to him. Cruel The Force can be. "
"That can't be true," Luke squinted. Was Yoda implying that his father and Kenobi...no that was ridiculous.
As if Yoda had read his mind, he answered, "Ah yes ridiculous he thought - if only he had... no," Yoda shook his head. "Such things you should not know - yet - know only that the Dark Side creeps in where there are gaps. Plug the gaps can love - passion..." Yoda tapped his stick on the ground and motioned for Luke to kneel, he whispered in his ear ,"lust.."
Like looked up shocked. Yoda wrinkled his nose and nodded.
"Are you saying I should give in to my emotions?" it was an alien concept to Luke. On Tatooine the farm boy was always taught to be stoic - not to betray his innermost secret thoughts.
"Leia you love, Kenobi you loved, your aunt and uncle you loved. You still love. Other people you love too, uh?" Yoda winked knowingly. "I sense it - you feel more for one."
Luke tried not to blush.
"Ah, know I do. You cannot hide from those attuned - appeased must the Force be. Tell him you must."
"You know all of it?"
"I sense all." Yoda closed his eyes. " No more can I teach you until settled it is."
"You want me to tell him?" Luke was horrified. There was no way he could do this - Han would just laugh at him. Or worse.
**************************
"I'm coming in to land," Luke was not looking forward to this.
A familiar voice sounded over the intercom, "Luke, buddy, we missed you. You back for good this time?"
"No Han - just have some things to sort out. Jedi stuff."
Han laughed. "You and your Jedi stuff. You a Jedi Master yet - I mean you've been gone a whole week, how long can it take?"
"Longer than you'd think."
*************************
Han bounded over to hug Luke. Luke just stood there and let him get on with it. He wanted to return the embrace but some force was stopping him. Maybe it was the Dark Side - maybe that would be easier.
Han pulled away, " Hey Luke, what's wrong kid? Didn't miss me as much as I missed you huh?" Han was laughing, but there was a hurt edge to his voice.
"Where's Leia?" Luke wasn't going to ruin anything without knowing for sure. Han loved Leia, probably. Leia was beautiful and intelligent and rich. Leia was what Han should want. Of course Leia was a princess - why she would want Han was possibly more of a mystery. Just because he was handsome, and smart, and sexy and oh...why did he feel like this about him? Han of all people. A space adventurer, practically a pirate. A rogue. Why Han of all people? Why would Leia want him. Why?
"Leia? Why she's around, somewhere. Join me for a drink Luke. It's been dull without you." Han frowned.
Luke heard Ben Kenobi's voice, "Take notice of what Yoda said Luke. Don't let the moment pass."
Luke nodded and smiled. He gave Han a friendly pat on the arm. "Sure. That'd be great. A drink."
***********************
Luke had expected Han to lead him to the cantina, among crowds. He was surprised when Han stopped outside the door to his quarters.
"I've been here so long they kinda thought I should get my own space, " Han said grinning. He opened the door. The inside of the room was luxurious by anyone's standards.
Luke stood at the threshold of the door, trying not to look naively amazed. "What did you to deserve all this?" Luke smiled.
"Traded some stuff, got on some important people's good sides." Han winked, "Pretty handy knowing a princess."
Luke tried not to grimace. Leia. Always Leia. What was so special about Leia?
Han noticed the mood change, "Hey lighten up kid, I'm not stepping on anyone's toes - don't worry if you love her I won't stand in your way."
Luke looked at him, surprised. "Leia - you think I love Leia?" He laughed. It was ridiculous.
"Well yeah - we all love Leia don't we? She's the best."
For some reason Luke got the impression Han was mocking him. The spluttered laugh that followed confirmed that impression.
"Hey Luke, I got to tell you - the look on your face just then was amazing. You're so easy to bait."
Bait? Luke glared at Han and turned to leave. The nerve of the man.
"Luke. Wait. I was just kidding - don't go. What did I say?" Han followed the young not-a-Jedi-yet down the corridor. He grabbed Luke's arm to stop him. "Honestly. You and Leia. What is it about you two?"
"What do you mean? I don't see Leia here - what does she have to do with anything?"
"What? Why are we still talking about her anyway? Come back to my room - I got some good Corellian brandy. Maybe it'll help you loosen up some. This Jedi nonsense sure isn't helping."
Luke pulled away. "It's not nonsense. Although Yoda was completely wrong about one thing." Care for someone? Huh.
Han raised his arms in frustration as Luke walked away. What? What did he say?
*******************
Luke was trying to sleep, but a little voice kept disturbing him. Ben.
"Luke - you must not leave it like this. The dark side Luke - you are heading towards the dark side."
Dark Side. As if he wasn't already in the dark side.
"Go away. You're dead. You messed up your life - why don't you go before you mess up mine too?"
"My cardinal mistake was ignoring that which was before me."
"I have no idea what you're talking about."
"It's too complicated Luke. Far too complicated. I was caught in a web of my own making. If I had followed my heart - listened to my instinct, maybe all would be well."
"Did you love my father?"
"Not in the way you think Luke - have no fear on that account. I was too in love with another - also long gone. What your father felt for me of course..."
"I don't want to know." Luke put the pillow over his head. It didn't help. His dead mentor refused to disappear.
"As for Vader... ah, this was all so long ago. But maybe Master Yoda was right - I could have prevented so much sorrow. It was already too late by then."
Luke sat up and rubbed his head. Ben continued.
"It's not too late for you Luke my boy. Don't let what you think you know stand in the way of what is."
"But I don't know 'what is'."
"No one ever does until they know."
Luke was sick of all this circular talk. Maybe everyone would just shut up if he confronted Han, then it would all be over. Han would punch him in the jaw. Maybe he'd leave. Maybe he'd marry Leia. Whatever -they'd all be proven wrong and he could just get on with his training.
*****************
Han scrambled out of bed.
"Wha..what is it?" He opened his eyes properly and realized someone was knocking on his door.
"Han - it's Luke. Do you have any of that brandy left?"
Han looked down at his hand. He was clutching the bottle, and no - there wasn't any brandy left.
"Jus' a minute. I got to get some clothes on - I... ah to hell with it." Han flung the door open and grinned. "Luke. Missed you buddy - where you been keeping yourself?" Han flung open his arms and hugged.
"Han - what're you doing? You're naked." Luke pushed Han inside the room and shut the door quickly.
"Wassamatter? Never seen a perfect physical specimen before?"
Luke would have said something, but Han had collapsed onto the floor.
*****************
The next morning Han moaned and opened his eyes cautiously. In the far corner of the room he could see Luke curled up uncomfortably. Obviously his big plan to get the boy drunk had gone a little awry.
"Always have a back up plan Han," he mumbled to himself. Now all he'd succeeded in doing was embarrassing himself.
Luke wasn't really asleep. Difficult to sleep when your spine was all crushed up and your heart was completely squashed. He looked at Han. "You slept well eh?"
Han snorted. "Yeah - Can see you had a rough night though Luke - maybe you should have used the bed like a normal person."
"You were in the bed."
"It's a big bed." Han rolled his neck. Not such a comfortable bed perhaps - but plenty big enough for Luke to have got in. "Hey - why you here anyway? You've got your own room haven't you?"
"I was worried about you - you might have swallowed your tongue or something."
'Funny' Han thought. He'd been thinking something along those llines himself. Only it hadn't involved his own tongue.
"So are you in pain this morning?" Luke said disapprovingly.
"No more than usual. Looks like you're in more pain." All this time Han had been standing there with nothing on, morning erection pointing straight towards Luke. And Han had made no attempt to cover himself up. It was like he wasn't even ashamed. Han stretched and yawned, and everything went even higher. Luke glanced sideways, trying not to notice. "Hey Luke - got any plans this morning?"
"No not really," Luke said nonchalantly. Han was walking around now, scratching his neck, scratching other parts of himself. Still naked. Still erect. God this was too much - Luke didn't think he could ignore this much longer.
"You want to do stuff with me?"
'Yes' Luke thought. Yesyesyesyesyes. "Yeah sure," he shrugged, "Why not."
Part Two
It was sweaty work. And tiring. And greasy.
Han passed the wrench to Luke. This wasn't quite what the younger man had envisaged when Han asked him if he wanted to do stuff.
Still it was undemanding, and it meant he spent got to spend some time with Han doing manly things.
Han jumped down from the ladder.
"Hey Luke - got a bit messy uh?" He grinned, passing Luke a cloth.
Luke smiled as he wiped the dirt away. "Are we done? I can think of better ways to pass the time."
"Yeah. Me too kid. But some things have to be taken care of." Han winked.
"That's what master Yoda said."
"Did he? Well I suppose he must know something then." Han reached out and ruffled Luke's hair. Luke twitched at the touch.
"I'm not a little kid Han."
Han raised an eyebrow, "No Luke. I can see that."
*********************
It was the next day. And the next. And the next.
Every day the tension was growing. Every day there seemed a little more distance between them. Or a little more intimacy - sometimes it was hard to tell the difference.
They'd avoided each other all morning.
Leia was concerned - Han and Luke were behaving so oddly. And they'd been getting on so well before Luke left for his training.
"Luke - has Han said something to upset you?"
Luke didn't look at the princess. "No." He said sullenly.
"You know, he's not in love with me."
"Who isn't?" Luke feigned ignorance.
"And don't try to pretend you're in love with me. I won't believe it." Leia smiled.
"I never said I was."
"No I know." Leia turned to leave. "Does he?"
****************
Luke didn't know which was worse - everyone knowing, or everyone pretending they didn't know. Did Han know?
"Of course he does Luke. Why are you fighting it?"
"Go away Ben. You're not helping."
But there was no one there. No Ben. No Yoda. No Leia. No Han.
Everyone was gone. Everyone he ever cared for ended up dead or distant.
"I am here Luke - you can't escape your destiny."
"Ben - you're not here. No one can help me."
Obi Wan Kenobi sighed. What good was the force when your own pupil decided to ignore you? Always he failed, it seemed. Yet another loss to the dark side.
"You're just like your father Luke. Just like him." Kenobi disappeared.
***************
"I'm worried about him Han. I know you're an unfeeling brute - but surely you can help him."
"Yes, very funny princess." Han had a feeling he'd just end up making things even worse. Luke obviously knew what Han felt. Why else would he be avoiding him?
"He doesn't hate you."
"What? I never said he did."
"I think he might just surprise you Han."
"Nothing surprises me anymore."
"No of course not Han - you're just a big unshakeable rock aren't you?"
Sometimes he could just kill Leia.
*******************
"Luke - open up. I know you're in there."
"How do you know I'm in here?"
Han shook his head. "Well the fact you just answered me sort of tipped me off."
Luke stumbled to the door and glared at Han. "What do you want?"
"Can I come in?"
"Sure."
"Shut the door."
Luke obeyed and glared at Han sullenly. "Why are you here?"
Han's mouth was dry. Very dry. He licked his lips.
"I...uh...uh..."
"Yes?"
Han realized the next few seconds were crucial. He hoped he was doing the right thing.
"I uh... nothing. Sorry..." He couldn't do it, "Uh. Good luck with your training Luke. I really mean it. You deserve it - if anyone's going to restore the Jedi it's you ...I..."
"Shut up Han."
"What?"
"I said shut up. You didn't come here to tell me that. Don't pretend you did."
"Luke?"
Luke had backed Han into a corner. Han was bigger, maybe not stronger - he wasn't a Jedi-in-training after all - but if he'd wanted to maneuver out of the situation it would have been easy.
He didn't want to maneuver.
Luke's body next to him. Warm, soft, hard, strong.
"Are you using some sort of Jedi mind trick on me?" Han said, only half joking. How could he be feeling this for Luke? Ever since he saw him - all this time.
"No? Are you?"
"I'm not a Jedi."
"Neither am I - yet. Not going to be unless I sort this out."
Han had no idea what Luke was talking about - did it matter? The intense cold-hotness spreading through his body was throwing him off-balance. He gasped. Luke hadn't even touched him and he was already close to breaking.
Then Luke was touching.
A rough, smooth presence.
Exploring his mouth, mining his ears, pressing hard against his chest.
"Are we going to do this here?" Luke rasped into his ear. "Fully clothed?"
"No." it was all Han could say - even that one word was an effort.
Strong hand slid down Han's sides and between his thighs. Han hit his head as he thrust backwards, but it didn't seem to matter.
"Am I going to have to do all the work?" Luke grinned. This was easier than he'd thought. It seemed ridiculous he could have been so worried about it.
"I'm not forcing you," Han managed to pant.
"Maybe you'd better calm down. We don't want this to be over before it's begun."
"Never going to be over Luke. Never."
*************
Hard against soft against dry against wet. Hand against chest. Thigh against thigh. Thrusting, plunging, exploring. Sigh against groan.
Smooth on hard. In out up down back forth. On and on.
Off and off.
Then quiet.
Still.
Sticky.
Flushed.
Happy.
*************
They lay there. Breathless.
Han reached out sleepily and stroked Luke's hair. Kissed the top of his head.
Luke looked up and smiled.
"Han."
He didn't need to say anything else.
End
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