Ares pinched the space between his eyes.
This wasn't what was supposed to
happen. Mortals usually just obeyed him without asking any stupid
questions.
"Why? Because I say so,"
The war god said quietly. To anyone else the intonation
would have been a warning hiss. Joxer seemed oblivious to the
implied threat.
"But he was so nice to me,"
Joxer said innocently. A picture of Dionysus/Alexander
appeared in the pseudo-warrior's head, he tried not to
think about it, but a smile of
crept onto his face anyway.
Ares couldn't help noticing , "No,
you're my worshiper, don't think of him." He
wailed.
Joxer looked up at the stricken god.
"Anyway I thought Alexander was one of your
favourites - what's he done to upset you so much?"
Ares didn't really know why - he'd never
been into introspection, it was a waste of
time. He just wanted Alexander gone. And now he'd shown
himself as a potential
rival as a war god, and he was taking good warriors away from
Ares. It was the
Eros business all over again. Except Eros had only had the sex
and love thing going
for him - Dionysus had all that plus the alcohol.
"Why is he pretending to be mortal anyway?" Joxer continued.
Ares seized on this, "Yes! Exactly.
Why is he pretending to be mortal? That's very
bad for a god - that's why he has to be punished." The war
god smiled in triumph.
"I never heard that before," Joxer admitted. ìStill I don't see how I can help.î
"He likes you - They all like you."
"I thought you said I 'belonged to you'. Was that just some sort of line?"
Ares paused. He hadn't thought this through.
If he sent Joxer - his Joxer - his hard-won worshiper - back to Dionysus there was no telling what could
happen. On
second thoughts what was he thinking? He was Ares god of war -
irresistible.
"Joxer, Joxer, Joxer you have to
trust me, I know what I'm doing really," Ares
nuzzled Joxer's neck. Joxer pulled away.
"Why is everyone suddenly using
me as a toy?" Joxer demanded. "What is it about
me?"
This mortal was infuriating. Why would he never do what was best for him? Ares growled under his breath.
"Are you going to do what I say or am I going to have to punish you?"
Joxer pretended to consider the choice. He tilted his head to one side and looked at Ares, "What exactly would the punishment entail?" He asked.
Ares laughed in spite of himself. There was definitely something about Joxer.
*********************
Iolaus looked across at Autolycus. It had started to get dark
and they'd
left Hercules far behind in a forest clearing. The pair had fallen
asleep following an unexpected and fairly strenuous session of
lovemaking.
Autolycus was still asleep, but his eyes were just beginning to flicker open.
"Hey," Iolaus said gently as Autolycus eyes rested on his face.
"Now this didn't really mean anything did it?" Autolycus said suddenly.
"Didn't it?"
Autolycus stood up and looked around,
"Um. I think we should get back to
Hercules. He'll be wondering where we've gone."
"He can handle it. Autolycus where
are you going?" Iolaus jumped up as
the thief hurried away.
As he reached the clearing, Autolycus
could see something was wrong.
Hercules was slumped on the ground in an awkward position. His
head was
at an unnatural angle and his eyes were open and glazed over.
"Hercules?" Autolycus said tentatively.
The demigod didn't answer.
Iolaus came rushing out of the deeper woods. "Autolycus..." He called .
Both looked towards Hercules. Autolycus
couldn't move he just stared.
Iolaus leaned over Hercules and breathed sharply.
"I.. uh.. Autolycus.. I think Herc is.. I think Herc might be ..dead."
"What? But he's half god - how can he be dead?"
Far away in a dark room a faceless god chuckled.
***********************
"Ow" Joxer rubbed his nose.
One minute he was standing there laughing the next he'd materialized in the middle of a forest. And a branch had just swung back into him. What was Ares thinking?
"Ares," Joxer called weakly. No answer. "Ares - where are you?" he yelled.
The trees in the distance rustled. Something
was coming towards him. Something angry by the look of it. Joxer
considered fighting it, whatever *it* was - then he remembered
the old play dead trick.
He rolled up in a ball and closed his eyes tightly.
The rustling drew nearer and then stopped.
"Oh gods - looks like it got Joxer too."
Joxer recognized the voice. He opened his eyes and sprang to his feet, awkwardly twisting his leg .
"Iolaus, oh and Autolycus - what are you doing here?"
Iolaus sighed. "You're not dead," he said breathlessly.
"No I.."
Joxer was silenced by Autolycus, "All right then - if you're alive maybe you saw what killed Hercules."
"Hercules? Hercules is dead.. where...how?
"He's back there in the clearing." Autolycus said. Iolaus was pacing back and forth through the undergrowth clutching his head in distress.
"You left him there - aren't you afraid the wolves will eat him?" Joxer shook his head.
Iolaus gasped and ran back to the dead-Herc-clearing.
"Now look what you've done - think before you speak." Autolycus glared at Joxer. "Come on - follow me."
"What happened?" Joxer whispered as he and Autolycus calmly followed the hysterical Iolaus.
"It's complicated. I can't explain it just now... later." Autolycus stage-whispered back
When the thief and the pseudo-warrior reached the clearing they found Iolaus wide-eyed and tearful. But there was no sign of any demi-god - dead or otherwise.
"The wolves must have got here already," the blond yelled.
Autolycus slapped him, "Calm down Iolaus - wolves would have made far more mess than this. Where is the blood? Where are the entrails?"
"Oh gods." Iolaus screamed.
"Iolaus - Autolycus is right - maybe Hercules wasn't really dead."
"Wasn't dead.. yes.. that must be it - Herc's still alive."
"Then again, his neck did look pretty broken and he wasn't really breathing." Autolycus added.
"And that's supposed to help?" Iolaus grabbed the thief's tunic and pulled.
"I knew it was a mistake. If you and I hadn't.. and then.. you know... maybe if we hadn't left Hercules alone he'd've been all right." Autolycus gasped.
"Hey guys - what's going on here?" Joxer interrupted.
Neither answered. Autolycus had his eyes closed and Iolaus' head was buried in his chest. Both were sobbing uncontrollably.
"Shouldn't we be looking for Hercules?" No answer. Joxer threw his arms up in frustration and tentatively peered into the surrounding forest. He couldn't see anything. He jumped as he felt a figure looming over his shoulder.
"Hey Jox - calm down it's just me."
"Ares - where have you been? What's happening? How is Hercules dead?"
"What?" From the look on the war god's face Joxer could tell Ares was as clueless as the rest of them.
Joxer pointed out the grief stricken couple entwined in the middle of the clearing.
"My - don't they look cosy," Ares laughed.
"They're upset - Hercules body has disappeared. And I think something else must have happened but I'm not sure what." Joxer explained.
"Well I've got a pretty good idea," the war god sniggered.
Iolaus and Autolycus suddenly became aware of the outside world. Iolaus - facing the war god bridled.
"Ares," he snarled, "Is this your doing?"
"I don't even know what's going on. I'm just here to look out for Joxer. Anyway how can my stupid little brother be dead? Zeus would never allow it. You must have made a mistake."
"Well where is he then?"
A flash of silver and gold alerted them to the presence of another being. A slightly familiar figure.
"I think I might be able to answer that."
"Dionysus - are you back to be defeated or what?" Ares growled.
"Well that depends on what the 'what' involves, " Dionysus smiled. Then he noticed Joxer, "Oh I see you've brought back my eastern prince - thank you for looking after him."
"How many times do I have to go
through this - he is not yours. He is not Cupid's he is not Discord's
he definitely is not the plaything of 'Alexander'. I am the only
one who owns this mortal." Ares raged.
Joxer looked hurt.
Iolaus and Autolycus looked at each other - confused.
"Joxer - you and Ares? Surely not," Autolycus said.
"Hey, yeah - you can do a lot better, "Iolaus added.
"Excuse me?" Ares shot the pair a murderous look.
"Isn't anyone interested in what I've done with Hercules?" Dionysus interrupted.
"Oh enough," Ares said with a bored voice," Sure, I'll bite. What have you done with Hercules oh Dionysus, mightiest of all gods?" Ares said sarcastically.
"Oh - you're no fun." Dionysus
pouted. "I've had my wicked way with him," the god said
coyly.
"He's willing to play with me even if none of you are. You
can have him back - eventually. But I don't think he likes any
of you any more. I know I don't."
"Herc is safe then?" Iolaus said, relieved.
"Well as safe as anyone can be with me," Dionysus said. "Have fun - Now if you'll excuse me I'm off to conquer the world." With that the wine god and erstwhile King of Macedonia disappeared, leaving four confused figures in his wake.
"Herc with Alexander. Do you think it's true?" Iolaus wasn't exactly happy, Alexander was after all his mortal enemy and Hercules was ... well a lot of things but seemingly not dead at least.
"Of course it's true," Ares said. "Hercules is a slut and Dionysus is a pain in the ass. But hopefully the two of them will keep out of my way for a while. Hey - if they go east they won't be my problem anymore - let the Babylonian gods deal with them. "The huge grin on the war god's face was something of a rarity. Ares was feeling good. He grabbed an unsuspecting Joxer and kissed him full on the lips. "Well looks like you're all mine - hope you're prepared."
Joxer looked dazed and confused." Um - I suppose so."
A flash of silver and war god and pseudo-warrior had departed, leaving Iolaus and Autolycus alone.
"Are you a little confused?" Iolaus asked the thief.
"Getting more so every minute," Autolycus admitted, "Still - no need for either of us to feel guilty anymore is there?"
"Guilty - who felt guilty?"
"So all that stuff between you and Hercules...?" Autolycus asked.
"Hercules? Who's he?" Iolaus smiled. "Now where were we?"
"I think.." Autolycus began.
He didn't get any further.
"Oh - my," the thief managed as Iolaus pulled away from the deep kiss they'd both been enjoying for the past ten minutes.
"You know I really am the god of the sun - and I think I can prove it," Iolaus said.
Although he wasn't quite sure what Iolaus meant Autolycus couldn't wait to test the claim.
"By the way did I ever show you my disappearing trick?" He said.
"Excuse me?" Iolaus was intrigued.
"You're not the only one here with
special powers," Autolycus smiled.