Most Random Chaos of the Stealthy Elephant
The Adventures of the Stealthy Elephant in Angers, France
Random Curiosity
Have you ever wondered about Kosher Sex? Probably not, but I hadn't either until I was doing a project for my Intro to Judaism class on ritual spice boxes. I hadn't set out to find any information on Kosher Sex, I didn't even know there was any such thing as Kosher Sex. I just stumbled upon it while doing research on spice boxes. So here's what I found out. And since this is me writing and researching this topic, you can be assured that there's nothing pornographic or inappropriate here. It's not how to have Kosher Sex, it is what Jewish tradition says about sex. And there are definitely no pictures either. It's actually pretty interesting stuff.
The Bible views sex as an essential component
of marriage. The creation of woman is based on the judgment that
"it is not good for the man to be alone" and that the woman
should be his "fitting helper" (Gen. 2:18). With the
creation of woman, man is told to "leave his father and mother and
cling to his wife, so that they become one flesh' (Gen. 2:24). Their
union is thus closely intertwined with sexuality. The purpose of
marriage is twofold: procreation and companionship. It means
building a home and family (Gen. 1:28) as well as overcoming
loneliness. To marry and have children is, in the Jewish view, a
religious act - the very first mitzvah - reflecting a commitment to
transform the world.
Marital relations are the wife's right and the
husband's duty. This obligation he must fulfill at specific
intervals, which vary according to his occupation and ability (Ket.
61b). Should he wish to change from one occupation to another that
will demand longer absences from home, he must secure his wife's
permission in advance, because a woman prefers less income and a close
relationship with her husband to a higher income and separation from him (ibid.).
The "curse of Eve," that a woman's desire is for her husband and
he will rule over her (Gen. 3:16), is said to account for woman's sexual
modesty and her inhibition against taking the initiative in sexual
activity (Er. 100b).
Romantic love does not play the role in early Judaism
that is does in later periods...Love came after marriage, when the couple
had assumed their mutual responsibilities. In Rabbinic Judaism, the sexual
relationship between husband and wife is governed by intimacy,...and
sensitivity to physical needs. Intimacy refers to mutual consent
where the law prohibits a husband from compelling his wife to have
intercourse with him. The law also prohibits intercourse when either
spouse is drunk or when the woman is asleep. Mutual consent implies
non-exploitation. The sages insisted that husbands and wives may not
withhold themselves sexually, and may not engage in intercourse while in a
state of anger toward each other. Sexual favors are not an object
for barter. Intimacy also implies exclusivity: the sages forbade a
person to have intercourse with his or her spouse while thinking of
someone else. Intimacy thus demands a totality of relationship
between the two parties.
...A third component is sensitivity to physical
needs. The sexual component cannot be negotiated out of marriage by
mutual agreement...the aim of marriage is to develop a mature sexual
relationship between the parties. Sensitivity to each other's sexual
urges should be so fundamental that neither partner need verbalize it.
The sages demanded modesty and restraint in the
sexual act. Overindulgence is to be avoided,... (Sanh.
37b). Intercourse should take place at night, in privacy, after
tender, loving words have been expressed. According to the author of
Iggeret ha-Kodesh, sex is "holy and pure when engaged in
properly at the proper time and with the proper intentions... Whatever God
created cannot possibly be shameful or ugly."
...The preferred time for intercourse is on
Friday night, the holiest day of the week (Ket. 62b). The
sages view man's sexual drive as an expression of the [evil inclination],
bad if uncontrolled but good if channeled. They believe that man is
capable of restraining his libido. The ideal is not to deny or
suppress a natural urge, but to harness it for consecrated ends - hence
the admonitions to engage in conjugal relations within certain parameters
that foster intimacy, continuity and sensitivity to one's partner's sexual
needs.
-9 may 02 Copied verbatim, except for the parts I left out, from The Encyclopedia of Judaism, 1999
One of the most striking features of the Rabbis' attitude to sex is
their acknowledgement that a woman has sexual desires as well as a man.
The Mishnah gives a list of the times a wife can expect her husband to
make love to her:
-For those with no occupation: everyday.
-Laborers: twice a week.
-Ass-drivers: once a week.
-Camel-drivers: once every 30 days.
-Sailors: once every six months.
-All from another encyclopedia that I found in the college's library.
