My Friends

These people have my

seal of approval.

Mitch. Mitch can be quite gruff when he wants to. But you can't find a more loyal friend. A real poet warrior. He once ate a bunch of clams in Qingdao and puked all over the carpet. A real picture of Mitch. Status: Shacked up.

Deborah D. A lawyer, but still cool. We went out for a while in college. One thing kind of strange- she is better friends with my mom now, even though I knew her first. I'm cool with that. Status: MARRIED.

Bob. AKA Da Goldman. Everyone loves Bob. You can't not like Bob. Bob used to have LOTS of Big Gulp cups and cassette cases in the passenger's footwell of his car. Now he's Fit for Life, and looking pretty studly. Front man for Los Chicharrones Guapos. Status: MARRIED with 3 kids.

Craig M. The man who bailed JR Carrington, porn star, out of jail. A man who can keep up with Deborah D in repartee- that says a lot. He now packs heat and talks into his wrist at swanky functions in world capitals. Craig once trespassed on federal property in Mexico, where it is a BIG problem. Status: International man of mystery

Trent. One of those natural born athletes that pisses you off because he is instantly good at any physical sport. Even if you start practicing something before he does, he'll get better than you real fast. I've never seen someone drink more rum and cokes. Status: MARRIED.

Bret, the stripping bread man. Bret has a million stories. Unfortunately, he only knows what happens in maybe one or two of them. Bret wishes he was a pirate, and I think he would make a good one. See what Bret's brother Jeff would say about this page. Status: MARRIED.

Jeff. Quite a rake in his day, but now a dedicated family man. Back in the 80's, Jeff patented the now legendary "barf-belch," which was key to extended drinking. This is not Bret's brother Jeff. Status: MARRIED.

Tom. Tom is not afraid to get down and dirty with the locals. This guy will ride hard seat across China without requiring a state of inebriation. Tom is some kind of spook at the State Department. Probably his biggest claim to fame, however, is being lead guitarist for PUPPET SHOW. Status: MARRIED.

Deb Y. The "Asian Cajun." This is the sweetest girl you could ever meet. She was getting a little weird when she worked in Beijing, but now she's left the job and is okay again. Deb's only quirk is that she actually likes Hong Kong as a place to live. See real pictures of Tom & Deb on a trip to Bali. Status: MARRIED.

Jackson M. I really disliked Jackson when I first met him. But he turned out to be a cool guy. He kicked ass on the GMAT, and went to business school in New Yawk. Now he's in Colorado doing hi-tech wireless cool guy stuff. Jack will never beat me at backgammon. Status: MARRIED.

Grace H. I almost introduced her as Jack's girlfriend, but she's a separate entity in her own right. She's as cool as a guy to party with and with better legs, to boot. She can be really fun but watch out when she gets moody. Watch for her shows on ABC News (she's some kind of producer). Status: MARRIED.

Phil. Phil is a pal of mine from grad school who introduced me to the "family" lifestyle. I didn't join the family, but went on some fun and interesting picnics at the "camp" ground. Status: Swingin'

Jason. He was bassist in the now legendary Subterraneans, where he scored all the chicks. Well, he would have if he wasn't so picky. Jason is cool because he is the one person state side who actually visited me when I lived in Hong Kong as well as recently in Taiwan. He still gets all the chicks. Well, he would if he didn't get married 10/99. Status: MARRIED with kid.

Junko. AKA "la Chinita." She is a SERIOUS runner, but likes to drink, too. That's cool cuz it's hard to find people who are health conscious but not total stiffs. We were at a party once, mock kung-fu fighting, and I don't know how she did it, but she swoop-kicked me and I was flat on my back faster than a transvestite at Hugh Grant's bachelor party. Luckily there was a keg nearby and I could re-fill my beer. Status: Shacked up.

Pepito. My parrot. He is an African Grey. African Greys' beaks open top and bottom as opposed to most creatures, whose upper jaws are fixed. Pepito does free nose, ear, and lip piercing- just stop by my house and put the object to be pierced within beak range. Status: Lung infection- gone to heaven.

Julia. Pure of heart, innocent and naive yet full of curiosity about the world. When I'm around her, I recapture the golden days of my childhood. As you can guess, I therefore do not have any good puke stories about her- but I'm working on it. It will give me a secret thrill to see that innocence corrupted. See a real picture of Julia on the party page. Status: Holding out.

Amy. My old roommate from Hong Kong. She was a good roommate because she is not a morning person either. She has a contradiction to her personna: she's very smart and attractive but still lets herself get thrown into loops over the wrong guys (but she's thrown a few guys into loops herself- Karma!) Status: Shacked up in Vegas.

Ah, isn't this cute??

El Nino. My cat. Well, actually, it is my uncle's cat now. He was a Hong Kong street urchin when Amy found him, so he's also kind of Amy's cat. I'll have you know that we named him long before the El Nino hit the news this past year and people actually knew what it was. We're cool like that- ahead of the times. Status: Neutered.

Sam. An OG from the 'hood and founding member of The Subterraneans (jammin' percussionist). Sometimes he looks like Fidel Castro, but last time I saw him (10/99) he looked kind of like Curly of the Three Stooges. For various legal reasons, I am unable to put in some good high school Tijuana stories. But they wouldn't be about Sam anyways 'cuz he's always been an exemplary citizen. Status: Shacked up with kids.

Evette, aka Bart. A fellow UCSD alumnus, who I always saw at parties in Del Mar but never met until years later in Thailand. She used to be a partyin,' tropical, surfer-chick. Now she's a partyin,' polar-clime Microserf in Seattle. I haven't seen her puke, but I've seen her in several other imaginable states. Status: Swingin'.

Jennifer. Long lost friend that has resurfaced through the magic of the Internet. Ah, it's good to hear voices from the past, especially one as ascerbic as hers. She deserves mention for the dubious but significant honor of being the first of my peers to get divorced (I think she beat Sam to the punch). Also, -get this- she believes in socialism (snick). She'll never score any chicks! Status: Holding out.

Lisa. Empowered woman of the next century does what and who she wants when she wants. She is one of those people who other people think is an arrogant bitch, but is actually really cool and down to earth. I guess she just doesn't bullshit around. No capitalist-imperialist white male institution can exploit this one! Status Shacked up.

My dear old dad. Have to put him in here. He lectures like a Dad should.

Mi madre. No weird symbol or funny cartoon for her; this is her actual photo. What kind of a person uses a cartoon to represent his/her mother?

John. Another legend of The Subterraneans days. He was the singer, but didn't capitalize on it with the ladies. Jason was too tough of competition anyways. John has taken the cultural high road so claims he doesn't fit in in North County anymore. Status: MARRIED.