DELIA: You did something wrong.
DR. BROWN: I put it in the washing machine like you asked me to.
DELIA: And then?
DR. BROWN: And then I put it in the dryer.
DELIA: Now we're getting somewhere!
DR. BROWN: I shouldn't have put it in the dryer?
DELIA: Mom always washed it in the dishwasher.
DR. BROWN: Well, you didn't tell me that last night.
DELIA: I didn't think it would come to this.
DR. BROWN: Why don't you just wear one of your other hats?
DELIA: I can't. This is the best one.
DR. BROWN: Says who?
DELIA: Never mind. I can make it fit.
[The telephone rings.]
DELIA: [exasperated] I need a pop-tart!
DR. BROWN: [answering the phone] Hello? Hello, Dr. Abbott. Finally taking me up on my car pooling offer? Sure. I can be there in twenty minutes. Alright.
[Cut to the City Council meeting. Rose Abbott is adjudicating. The council is set up on what looks like a long row of tables in a school hall.]
ROSE: As Mayor, I now adjourn this City Council meeting. We will now take a short recess to allow the school board to come into session.
[She bangs the gavel and the board begin getting up to leave. Rose remains, shuffling her papers. After less than a minute, people take their places on either side of her. She bangs the gavel again.]
ROSE: The school board is now in session.
[Cut to the two doctors entering the room. Irv walks up to Dr. Brown.]
IRV: You're lucky. The school board is a lot nicer than the City Council.
[The two doctors make their way to the podium opposite the board.]
ROSE: Good afternoon, Doctors. I must admit, I never thought I'd see the day when the two of you joined forces.
DR. ABBOTT: Dear, don't start.
DR. BROWN: Dear? Are you two...
DR. ABBOTT: ...wedded? Yes.
DR. BROWN: Is there anybody in this community who is not related to one another?
ROSE: I understand we have a nasty little STD floating around County High. Is that right?
DR. BROWN: That's right. And we're here today to try to prevent any more of it from spreading.
MALE: How you gonna do that? I mean are we talking vaccines?
DR. ABBOTT: There are no vaccines for gonorrhea.
DR. BROWN: Nor are there any for Chlamydia, Syphilis or HIV. What we can do is educate our children, which is the best preventative medicine I know of.
DR. ABBOTT: I have prepared a memo which both advises parents as to the situation at hand and advises them to talk to their children.
ROSE: I'll call the Superintendent. Have him take a look at it.
DR. BROWN: But we don't think that that memo's enough.
DR. ABBOTT: We don't?
DR. BROWN: No. We'd like you to talk to the Superintendent and ask him to change the high school curriculum.
FEMALE: The program that we have is approved and paid for by the Government of the United States.
DR. BROWN: Yes, I'm aware of the program. It teaches abstinence only. It's antiquated and it doesn't provide nearly enough information.
MALE: What are you suggesting, Doctor? We hand out condoms in homeroom?
