Update - April 29, 2001
I saw an infomercial this weekend selling a product that I think every guy should be interested in: Bloussant. As the infomercial repeatedly pointed out, Bloussant is an all-natural means of increasing one's bust size. That's right boys and girls, this is a little pill that makes your breasts get bigger. They explained how it works (sort of) but mostly they just showed pictures of large-breasted women who may or may not have actually used Bloussant. I'm telling you, if this is legit, then I think our society has reached a new high in technology. Who the hell cares about a cure for cancer or world peace when we have a pill that makes people's breasts get bigger? That's what I call science.
Update - April 22, 2001
I saw two movies this weekend. Friday I saw Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, which is a depiction of the drug culture of the 70s, the excesses included, and how it can seriously fuck you over. Saturday, I saw Freddy Got Fingered, which consists of Tom Green grabbing the genitals of various animals. Guess which one I liked better.
I don't have anything funny to say right now. Go look at my new prank, it's a good one.
Update - April 20, 2001
Since the traffic I receive here is obscenely low, I've decided to swallow my pride and trade links. I didn't want to do this, as it seems a might lame, but I'd like some more traffic here and web browsers seem to ignore me completely whenever I submit my page to them. So if you have any desire to trade links, just email me, and I'll be happy to oblige.
My roommate and I stayed up until 3 AM last night coming up with a whole slew of new AIM pranks. I basically have enough new content for a week or so now, so all that's left is to type the pranks into HTML. See, if you're patient good things will come.
Update - April 17, 2001
My roommate is a film major, and thus he is required to take some art classes. One class he is currently enrolled in is a sculpting class, because apparentally film majors need to know how to sculpt things. Well, a recent assignment was to record a sound and make a sculpture of the visual manifestation of said sound. One girl in his class chose to record herself having a fucking orgasm and made a sculpture representing that particular sound. That's...I don't fucking know. I can't decide if that's the coolest thing I've ever heard of, or the most disturbing. I know for a fact that it's fucked up, to the point where it reaches beyond the limits of modern aircraft, but I don't know if it's fucked up in a good way or not. I can just guess that she's pretty popular in the class right about now.
Remember when I said I might update this month more than last month? Well, looks like I certainly fooled you. Of course, if you'll remember my second post, I said I would probably get bored with the site and stop updating as often. So really, you have no excuse for being fooled. Serves you gullible bastards right.
Update - April 10, 2001
My friends and I were walking along campus to go eat some Italian food today, when two greasy-looking grown men passed us on the walkway and asked if we'd like to take a religious tract. Since we're friendly people, we took them, planning on throwing them away as soon as we were out of sight. But when I looked at the object I was carrying, my jaw dropped in amazement. I wasn't carry any ordinary religious brochure - it was an honest-to-goodness Chick Tract! As you can imagine, I was stupefied by pleasure. What luck! Three Chick Tracts to mock and love! Sadly, one of my friends wiped up pizza cheese with his tract, and the other friend wiped the remaining two on his crotch, so I declined to take them home. But I have encountered the enemy, friends, and it includes old men with dirty T-shirts.
This week, I have two five-page essays to write, two Greek dramas to read, a test to study for, and a schedule to write. So I've been too fucking busy to update. After Easter, I have a couple ideas for things to add, so hopefully I'll have some more content next week. Take heart young ones, for the master is not far off.
Update - April 3, 2001
Ha ha, the joke's on you. While other sites pulled some half-assed April Fool's joke, I went one step farther and didn't update like I said I would. I certainly made fools out of you guys. Why, I'm a comedic genius. Or I just forgot to update. One of the two has to be the truth, and I really don't want to hear your guesses as to which one it is.
Not only is there a great comic up today at Penny Arcade, but the news update has some insights into human nature that are profoundly disquieting, and disturbingly accurate. I might mention that one of the people who inspired me to make this page was Tycho Brahe (the guy at Penny Arcade, not the astronomer), because he writes just the way I would if I put more effort into my writing. Except he's funnier.
I saw an infomercial this weekend selling a product that I think every guy should be interested in: Bloussant. As the infomercial repeatedly pointed out, Bloussant is an all-natural means of increasing one's bust size. That's right boys and girls, this is a little pill that makes your breasts get bigger. They explained how it works (sort of) but mostly they just showed pictures of large-breasted women who may or may not have actually used Bloussant. I'm telling you, if this is legit, then I think our society has reached a new high in technology. Who the hell cares about a cure for cancer or world peace when we have a pill that makes people's breasts get bigger? That's what I call science.
Update - April 22, 2001
I saw two movies this weekend. Friday I saw Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, which is a depiction of the drug culture of the 70s, the excesses included, and how it can seriously fuck you over. Saturday, I saw Freddy Got Fingered, which consists of Tom Green grabbing the genitals of various animals. Guess which one I liked better.
I don't have anything funny to say right now. Go look at my new prank, it's a good one.
Update - April 20, 2001
Since the traffic I receive here is obscenely low, I've decided to swallow my pride and trade links. I didn't want to do this, as it seems a might lame, but I'd like some more traffic here and web browsers seem to ignore me completely whenever I submit my page to them. So if you have any desire to trade links, just email me, and I'll be happy to oblige.
My roommate and I stayed up until 3 AM last night coming up with a whole slew of new AIM pranks. I basically have enough new content for a week or so now, so all that's left is to type the pranks into HTML. See, if you're patient good things will come.
Update - April 17, 2001
My roommate is a film major, and thus he is required to take some art classes. One class he is currently enrolled in is a sculpting class, because apparentally film majors need to know how to sculpt things. Well, a recent assignment was to record a sound and make a sculpture of the visual manifestation of said sound. One girl in his class chose to record herself having a fucking orgasm and made a sculpture representing that particular sound. That's...I don't fucking know. I can't decide if that's the coolest thing I've ever heard of, or the most disturbing. I know for a fact that it's fucked up, to the point where it reaches beyond the limits of modern aircraft, but I don't know if it's fucked up in a good way or not. I can just guess that she's pretty popular in the class right about now.
Remember when I said I might update this month more than last month? Well, looks like I certainly fooled you. Of course, if you'll remember my second post, I said I would probably get bored with the site and stop updating as often. So really, you have no excuse for being fooled. Serves you gullible bastards right.
Update - April 10, 2001
My friends and I were walking along campus to go eat some Italian food today, when two greasy-looking grown men passed us on the walkway and asked if we'd like to take a religious tract. Since we're friendly people, we took them, planning on throwing them away as soon as we were out of sight. But when I looked at the object I was carrying, my jaw dropped in amazement. I wasn't carry any ordinary religious brochure - it was an honest-to-goodness Chick Tract! As you can imagine, I was stupefied by pleasure. What luck! Three Chick Tracts to mock and love! Sadly, one of my friends wiped up pizza cheese with his tract, and the other friend wiped the remaining two on his crotch, so I declined to take them home. But I have encountered the enemy, friends, and it includes old men with dirty T-shirts.
This week, I have two five-page essays to write, two Greek dramas to read, a test to study for, and a schedule to write. So I've been too fucking busy to update. After Easter, I have a couple ideas for things to add, so hopefully I'll have some more content next week. Take heart young ones, for the master is not far off.
Update - April 3, 2001
Ha ha, the joke's on you. While other sites pulled some half-assed April Fool's joke, I went one step farther and didn't update like I said I would. I certainly made fools out of you guys. Why, I'm a comedic genius. Or I just forgot to update. One of the two has to be the truth, and I really don't want to hear your guesses as to which one it is.
Not only is there a great comic up today at Penny Arcade, but the news update has some insights into human nature that are profoundly disquieting, and disturbingly accurate. I might mention that one of the people who inspired me to make this page was Tycho Brahe (the guy at Penny Arcade, not the astronomer), because he writes just the way I would if I put more effort into my writing. Except he's funnier.