Dean and Twyla's Wedding Blessing Ceremony
August 01, 1999
Episcopal Church of the Holy Innocents
Phoenix, Arizona, United States of America
Introduction
Father Bill:
O God, you have so consecrated the covenant of marriage that in it is represented the spiritual unity between Christ and his Church: Send your blessings upon Dean and Twyla, who come to renew their promises to each other, and grant them your grace, that they may so love, honor, and cherish each other in faithfulness and patience, in wisdom and true Godliness, that their lives together may be a witness to your love and forgiveness, and that their home may be a haven of blessing and peace; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.
Opening Intention
Father Bill:
Friends in Christ, we are gathered together with Dean and Twyla, who have come today to give thanks to God for his blessing upon their marriage, and to reaffirm their marriage covenant.
Dean, do you here, in the presence of God and of this congregation, renew the promises you made when you bound yourself to Twyla, in holy matrimony?
Dean: I do.
Father Bill:
Twyla, do you here, in the presence of God and of this congregation, renew the promises you made when you bound yourself to Dean in holy matrimony?
Twyla: I do.
Dean and Twyla repeat the following in unison:
We thank you, most gracious God, for consecrating our marriage in Christ’s name and presence. Lead us further in companionship with each other and with you. Give us grace to live together in love and fidelity, with care for one another. Strengthen us all our days, and bring us to that holy table where, with those we love, we will feast for ever in our heavenly home; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
First Blessing
Father Bill:
May God the Father, who at creation ordained that man and woman become one flesh, keep you one. Amen.
May God the Son, who adorned this manner of life by his first miracle, at the wedding in Cana of Galilee, be present with you always. Amen.
May God the Holy Spirit, who has given you the will to persevere in your love and in your covenant with each other, strengthen your bond. Amen.
And may God the Holy Trinity, the source of all unity, bless you this day and for ever. Amen.
Bible Readings
Chris:
A reading from:
Song of Solomon, Chapter 2, Verses 1-13
1. I am the rose of Sharon, and the lily of the valleys.
2. As the lily among thorns, so is my love among the daughters.
3. As the apple tree among the trees of the wood, so is my beloved among the sons. I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste.
4. He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love.
5. Stay me with flagons, comfort me with apples: for I am sick of love.
6. His left hand is under my head, and his right hand doth embrace.
7. I charge you, O ye daughters of Jerusalem, by the roes, and by the hinds of the field, that ye not stir up, nor awake my love, till he please.
8. The voice of my beloved! Behold, he cometh leaping upon the mountains, skipping upon the hills.
9. My beloved is like a roe or a young hart: behold, he standeth behind our wall, he looketh forth at the windows, showing himself through the lattice.
10. My beloved spake, and said unto me, Rise up my love, my fair one, and come away.
11. For, lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone;
12. The flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing of birds is come, and the voice of the turtle is heard in our land.
13. The fig tree putteth forth her green figs, and the vines with tender grape give a good smell. Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away.
Ephesians, Chapter 5, Verses 1-2
1. Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children;
2.And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savor.
Ephesians, Chapter 5, Verses 21-33
21.Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
22. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
24. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
25. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
26. That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
27. That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
28. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife, loveth himself.
29. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
30. For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
31. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
32. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
33. Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
Bob:
A reading from:
First Epistle General of John, Chapter 4, Verses 7-16
7. Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God: and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God.
8. He that loveth not, knoweth not God; for God is love.
9. In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him.
10. Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his son to be the propitiation for our sins.
11. Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another.
12. No man hath seen God at any time. If we love one another, God dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected in us.
13. Hereby know we that we dwell in him, and he in us, because he hath given us of his spirit.
14. And we have seen and do testify that the Father sent the son to be the Saviour of the world.
15. Whosoever shall confess that Jesus is the Son of God, God dwelleth in him, and he in God.
16. And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him.
Aaron:
A reading from the Gospel according to Saint Matthew:
Matthew, Chapter 5, Verses 1-10
1. And seeing the multitudes, he went up into a mountain: and when he was set, his disciples came unto him:
2. And he opened his mouth, and taught them, saying,
3. Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4. Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.
5. Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.
6. Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.
7. Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.
8. Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.
9. Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.
10. Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness’ sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
What is Love?
Father Bill:
As the two of you come to this marriage alter you profess your love for each other. God’s word will serve as a constant help in understanding what love really is and how it conducts itself in making life rich and beautiful. “Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous, or conceited, or proud; love is not ill-mannered, or selfish, or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs; love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth. Love never gives up: its faith, hope, and patience never fail. Love is eternal” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8 TEV).
Dean and Twyla Perform
Dean: Piano, Twyla: Vocal
Wedding Song (There is Love)
Thoughts and Prayers
Father Bill:
Marriage is a companionship which involves mutual commitment and responsibility. You share alike in the responsibilities and the joys of life. When companions share sorrow the sorrow is halved, and when they share joy the joy is doubled.
The wedding vows which you have taken were voluntary and equal. Regard them not as burdens to weigh you down but as winged hopes and promises to bear you up together into a more abundant life. A marriage, in order to be real, must be based upon love. Now true love is not passion to possess and rule, but the desire to share and to bless. Let each respect the will and the work of the other, rejoicing in every success and bringing comfort in every failure. Profess not, nor demand perfection in a mortal being, but be long suffering and kind to human errors, ready to forgive and to be forgiven. Let no secret divide, no rivalry estrange, no difference embitter your hearts; but seek by openness and reason and goodwill to find the golden key to understanding. Do not become proud because of favoring or circumstances, nor overcome by adversity, but study to be quiet and have firm faith in the goodness of God. Do not forget the little courtesies that sweeten daily life. Let your wedded happiness be pleasant and helpful to your neighbors, and your partnership be useful to the world. So by the grace of God and your own faithfulness may your years together brighten as they pass.
Instructions
Father Bill:
The love that you now feel will grow stronger through the years if you give yourselves to its nurture and care. This must have the attention and commitment of both husband and wife.
Dean, you have been instructed:
Husbands love their wives even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it. In the same way married men should live considerately with your wives, with an intelligent recognition of the marriage relation, honoring the woman as physically the weaker, but realizing that you are joint heirs of the grace of life in order that your prayers may not be hindered.
Twyla, you have been instructed:
In like manner you married women must reverence your husbands. that is, you are to feel for him all that reverence includes, to respect, defer to, to honor, appreciate, admire, and be deeply devoted to your husband. Wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord.
Dean and Twyla repeat the following vow in unison:
Entreat me not to leave thee, or to return from the following after thee; for wither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge; thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God. Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried: The Lord do so to me, and more also, if aught but death part Thee and me. (Ruth 1:16-17)
Unity Candle Lighting
Twyla and Dean light the unity candle together.
Piano performs
Ashokan Farewell
Second Blessing
Father Bill:
Let us pray.
Eternal God, creator and preserver of all life, author of salvation, and giver of grace: Look with favor upon the world you have made, and for which your Son gave his life, and especially upon this man and this woman whom you have made one flesh in Holy matrimony. Amen.
Give them wisdom and devotion in the ordering of their common life, that each may be to the other a strength in need, a counselor in perplexity, a comfort in sorrow, and a companion in joy. Amen.
Grant that their wills may be so knit together in your will, and their spirits in your Spirit, that they may grow in love and peace with you and one another all the days of your life. Amen.
Give them grace, when they hurt each other, to recognize and acknowledge their fault, and to seek each other’s forgiveness and yours. Amen.
Make their life together a sign of Christ’s love to this sinful and broken world, that unity may overcome estrangement, forgiveness heal guilt, and joy conquer despair. Amen.
Bestow on them, if it is your will, the gift and heritage of children, and the grace to bring them up to know you, to love you, and to serve you. Amen.
Give them such fulfillment of their mutual affection that they may reach out in love and concern for others. Amen.
Grant that all married persons who have witnessed these vows may find their lives strengthened and their loyalties confirmed. Amen.
Grant that the bonds of our common humanity, by which all your children are united one to another, and the living to the dead, may be so transformed by your grace, that your will may be done on earth as it is in heaven; where, O Father, with your Son and Holy Spirit, you live and reign in perfect unity, now and for ever. Amen.
Wedding Ring Blessing
Father Bill:
Bless, o Lord, these rings to be signs of the vows by which Dean and Twyla have bound themselves to each other; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
Dean and Twyla each repeat the following presentation separately:
I have given you this ring as a token of my love for you and as a symbol of our marriage union. With it will go all the devotion and loyalty of my life. To you, I give all that I am and have. My promise to you is that we shall be together for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish till death do us part. Please wear this ring as a reminder of the promises and the love we share. It is written on our rings “I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.”
Third Blessing
Most gracious God, we give you thanks for your tender love in sending Jesus Christ to come among us, to be born of a human mother, and to make the way of the cross to be the way of life. We thank you, also, for consecrating the union of man and woman in His Name. By the power of your Holy Spirit, pour out the abundance of your blessing upon this man and this woman. Defend them from every enemy. Lead them into all peace. Let their love for each other be a seal upon their hearts, a mantle about their shoulders, and a crown upon their foreheads. Bless them in their work and in their companionship; in their sleeping and in their waking; in their joys and in their sorrows; in their life and in their death. Finally, in your mercy, bring them to that table where your saints feast for ever in your heavenly home; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who with you and the Holy Spirit lives and reigns, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.
The Peace
Father Bill:
The peace of the Lord be always with you.
Father Bill instructs Dean that he may kiss his wife, then introduces Dean and Twyla to the congregation.
Holy Eucharist
Communion service continues from Episcopal Book of Common Prayer. Piano plays while Father Bill prepares communion. Dean and Twyla receive communion after Father Bill. The congregation is then invited to receive communion.
Post Communion Prayer
Father Bill:
O God, the giver of all that is true and lovely and gracious: We give you thanks for binding us together in these holy mysteries of the Body and Blood of your Son Jesus Christ. Grant that by your Holy Spirit, Dean and Twyla, now joined in Holy Matrimony, may become one in heart and soul, live in fidelity and peace, and obtain those eternal joys prepared for all who love you; for the sake of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
Final Prayers
Father Bill improvises a prayer: It includes the bonding of Dean’s and Twyla’s families. Dean’s children are asked to stand together at the alter with Dean and Twyla. Each one of is mentioned by name: Maggie, Ephraim, Petra.
Maggie reads a prayer from the children:
We, Dean’s children pray for your richest and fullest blessings on the marriage between our father and Twyla. We ask you to closely bond us now and in the future. We thank you for the new family that you have created and ask for your continued guidance in the days ahead. Amen.
Dean and Twyla with Chris and Father Bill
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