It has been found that the use of nuclear warheads condoned by both the American and British governments is perfectly justified since they have created a new warhead capable of killing no one in Iraq except for Saddam. Many physicists around the globe bowed their heads at this amazing new technology. Offers from Russia to help with warhead construction have been politely declined.
It turns out that Osama cannot continue his acts of despicable evil without Saddam there to keep providing the yet unproven support. One American spokesperson explained "the moment he realises Saddam is dead he'll come straight out and beg for his mummy". It seems that criticisms that the war was to divert attention away from the failing search for Osama were untrue after all.
France and Germany, out of new support for American politician Donald Rumsfeld have to decided to unite as one nation which will be known as "Old Europe". According to one German spokesperson "We always thought that our poilicies of democracy and peace were a bit old fashioned and since the whole 'single currency' thing our nations have become so close that this was a natural progression. In fact we have long hoped that the whole of Europe could join together as a superstate, just like America. When we acheive this goal we have decided to call the superstate, the 'Old United States'."
The American government have also proved that the elections in Florida were not fixed and that both Rumsfeld and President Bush have an IQ of 250. President Bush has made the following statement "Our imports DO come from overseas so nyaaaah!"