Welcome To Spanky's Firehouse Fun Page - Funnies

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Heros
There was a really large brush fire in town and the county fire department finally admitted that they would need help from the local volunteer department. They called for assistance and fought the fire the best that they could. A few minutes later, two trucks from the volunteer department came screeching to the scene; the first truck ran past the crowd, INTO the flames. Three volunteers quickly dismounted and extinguished the fire. The town officials were impressed and admidst all the cheering for these heros, they presented a check for $20,000 to the Chief. When asked what they would do with the money, the Chief replied "We will get better fire gear and FINALLY be able to fix the brakes on the brush truck!!"



Definitions for Firefighters

Chief

Leaps short buildings with a single bound.
Is more powerful than a ladder truck.
Is faster than a speeding bullet.
Walks on water.
Thinks he gives policy to God.


Assistant Chief

Leaps short buildings with a single bound.
Is more powerful than a pumper.
Is just a s fast as a speeding bullet.
Walks on water if sea is calm.
Talks with God.


Deputy Chief

Leaps short buildings with a running
start and favorable winds.
Is almost as powerful as a pumper.
Is faster than a speeding BB.
Walks on water in indoor swimming pools.
Talks with God if special request is approved.


Engineer

Barely clears Quonset hut.
Loses tug–of–war with pumpers.
Can fire a speeding bullet.
Swims well.
Is occasionally addressed by God.


Captain

Makes high marks on buildings when
trying to leap them.
Is run over by a pumper.
Can sometimes handle a gun without
inflicting self–injury.
Dog paddles in swimming pools.
Talks with animals.


Lieutenant

Runs into buildings when trying to leap them.
Recognizes pumpers two out of three times.
is not allowed to use guns.
Can stay afloat if properly instructed
in the use of a life jacket.
Talks to walls.
Sergeant

Falls over doorstep when trying
to enter buildings.
Points and says, "Look at that pretty fire engine."
Wets himself with a water pistol.
Plays in mud puddles.
Mumbles to himself.


Firefighter

Lifts buildings and walks under them.
Kicks fire engines and equipment out of the way.
Catches speeding bullets in his
teeth and eats them.
Freezes water with a single glance.
He is almost God.


Author unknown



A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck
zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog.
The children fell to discussing the dog’s duties. "They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster.
"No," said another, "he’s just for good luck." A third child brought the argument to a close, "They use the dogs to find the the fire hydrant!