Needless to say, the Australian release sleeve was extremely misleading. In fact, Eve's Beach Fantasy is forgettable soft-core erotica from 1997. The minimal plot concerns a slightly skanky young girl by the name of Eve, who is minding her rich uncle's beach house. And that's about it. No gnarly beach parties, no college hyjinx, no fat guy getting chased around the pool by sexy blondes in bikini's, no diamond thieves trying to break into the safe inside the house , nobody slips on a banana peel... need I continue?
Although it has some nudity, Eve's Beach Fantasy lacks all the usual redeeming features of you're average screwball comedy, or your average late night erotic thriller. In fact, I can't tell if the director was shooting for comedy, or drama. All we get is melodramatic boredom. No one gives a rat's arse about Eve's innermost thoughts ( she narrates for almost the entire duration of the movie). We want a pale Porky's / Screwballs / Revenge of the Nerds imitation.
In short, this was as boring as batshit. I'm just as much of a pervert as the next guy, but a movie that's bland in every way bar a few minutes of nudity just doesn't cut it. If I want to watch April Adams nude scenes, I'll just pick up one of the dozens of XXX flicks she did after this bombed (and I probably will just out of interest... o.k., o.k., out of perversion). I would have switched this off after twenty minutes, but I paid $11.00 for it, so I was determined to milk it for every last cent. I usually have to hit the local cinema and see the latest Hollywood blockbuster to see something this crummy. |
