| It's been such a long time since any Notes from Home have appeared on this site and it may look as if we have abandon the 'Planet'. Truth is, there has been a ton of things to derail us from the computer for some time now. Work has kept me from getting any updating done and PJ's mom has just had her hands more than full the last couple of years.
Has it been THAT long? Chances are it's been longer. So much has been happening with PJ and his family that I don't know where to start! First off, PJ will be fifteen this year. He is in junior high, a special needs program, of course, and still going strong. He will enter highschool next year and will be in a locked in area. That is to say, the special needs students have their own section and are kept to that area for their protection. This is a really good thing because PJ has gotten into the habit of wandering out of the classroom. I guess he gets bored! He just jumps up and runs out. It really keeps the classroom helpers on their toes! PJ has had a number of events the last couple of years that would have been huge growing experiences for any teen, much less an autistic teen. They have been growing experiences for us as well. Since the last entry in this area of the 'Planet', PJ has had a new sibling. This one is a bit different. It's a girl! Of course. he's not aware that there are other falvors than boy, but he has noticed there being a difference. It's only our guess as to what he thinks but, on the whole, he seems to be delighted with the new arrival. He always had a thing about laughing when either of his two younger brothers would cry. We're not sure if the sound amuses him or what but he has the same reaction with the 'Princess'. He also likes to play 'peek-a-boo' with her and they seem to have their own vocabulary. They regularly have verbal exchanges and he will often just walk past her and give her a kiss on the top of the head. He has his own method of displaying his feelings and, fortunately, affection is one of them. Speaking of affectionate behaviour, PJ surprised us a while backwith a new gesture. It was after the death of his paternal grandmother who he and his brothers were extremely close with. I was setting up a new fish tank for the boys for Easter and their dad was busy bringing some of grandma's belongings to the house. I'm sure this was especially difficult for PJ. He spent most of the weekend touching and looking at the items he knew belonged in grandma's house, including toys she kept for them, and giving his mom long looks of concern and confusion. He finally came to watch me fill the fish tank (he likes to play in water) and, out of the blue, walked over and put his arms around my shoulders, looked me in the eye and gave me a hug. A REAL hug. I was so surprised and really touched. He has hugged us numerous times since then and I have to say, it's a wonderful addition to his behaviour. I think the biggest move this year has been the evaluation PJ had last fall for group home placement. My daughter gave me the hilarious details and I really have to pass this on. I'm sure you are wondering what could be so funny about such a meeting but, PJ does have an inate sense of humor even though it pops out at the most unusual moments. My daughter filled out an application just after PJ started the new school year. The waiting period for group home palcement can be as long as twelve years. She was called and told an agent would visit her and her family and evaluate PJ. He would also be given an IQ test. THAT, we had to see! The evening came and a friendly woman arrived at their house, sat down and proceded to inform them of the type of testing and what to expect. Well, she didn't know what she was in for. PJ started out by acing the one test she hadn't expected him to and blew her off on a couple of the ones she fully expected him to understand and complete. He has this pattern of not doing at home those things he is expected to do at school. Tests were for school and he was having a good time leading the nice lady along. When he did something right, he took his dad's hand and patted himself on the back which brought the woman to giggles. He also found the scent of her cologn appealing and sniffed her now and then. All in all, she had a delightful time with PJ and found him to be very 'personable'. Like I said....hysterical! All the fun aside, the meeting was very informative and very reafirming for PJ's parents. The agent explained how the move from a school environment to a group home environment would be better for someone like PJ than sitting at home stagnating. She asked his mom what she wanted for her son and her response was that of concern for structure in his life. Group homes have just that for the special adult. The activity is focused on daily living and filled with activities and outings that center around that. The families are expected to regularly be a part of their lives and activities but that the group home is eventually reffered to as 'home' and that the transition is more solid than we would think. It's hard, on one hand, to think of him making that move and not being a part of the family structure and, yet, it's hard to picture PJ being comfortable living in anything other than a structured living situation. As we have said from the start, PJ, like so many special needs people, thrives in a structured lifestyle and is uncomfortable in any other life situation. I suppose when the time comes it will be a difficult and emotional move. Our involvement will continue no matter what changes may come. PJ, in the meantime, will thrive in the company of family, friends and school. We will be here on the 'Planet', continuing our support for PJ and those like him and their families for as long as we are able. Articles on "Special Needs Adults" offer options for those who need alternative housing for one reason or another. Of course opportunities differ from state to state and county to county. The Arc of Indiana covers an assortment of information about how the system works and questions to ask service providers. |
| NOTES FROM HOME 2006 update |
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