Nomar

JUPITER, FLA- Call it "The curse of the Bambino", just coincidence, or plain ol' fate. But call it something, because hard times have hit Boston, again.
     Standing outside the Red Sox training facility yesterday, Nomar Garciaprra stood in street clothes already sidelined by an injured wrist. He was signing autographs and shaking hands with fans several hundred feet from the road after a brief workout. When a passerby honked his horn, Garciaparra instinctively turned his head towards the car to look. The driver didn't have a chance.
     "All of a sudden, there it was, I didn't know what the fuck it was, it really scared the shit out of me. I cut the wheel left but I couldn't get away, It was all the way across the road."
     Apparently, Garciaparra has had similar problems before.
     "It was my fault, I have had this shnoz for years, I know how to work it, I was too close to the road, I lost my head for a second."
     He's lucky he didn't lose his nose. The car, a Mitsubishi Galant, drove right over Garciaprra's tooter, breaking its axel and front fender. The nose suffered minimal damage, but was sore and cut up a bit.

    Garciaparra's nose has been an essential part of his game since little league. He uses it to lock in on a pitch as it leaves the pitchers hand, and, almost like a pointer, tracks it directly to his bat.
     "Some people reccomended plastic surgery when I signed the big contract", said Garciaprra, "but there is no way I'm ever going to get to .400 (batting average) without it. Its an intrigal piece of my hitting."
     His teamates often kid him about it, but he has been hearing the same jokes for years, the jokes just bounce off him like

line drives to center field.
    "I've heard them all, Pinoccio, Big-assed nose freak, the nose with arms and legs, names don't bother me."
     The incient brought out some discussions amongst his teammates, however.
     "He ususally has it in check, but sometimes he spaces out and turns quick, knocks over a water cooler or something in the dugout", said teammate Jose Offerman.
     Manager Jimmy Willaims thinks everything will be fine. "He had an MRI, there is no structural damage, I was holding my breath. We all heard the car screetching and then saw Nomar being pulled to the street. He's got guts carrying that thing around. The kid does anything to win."