~Miscarriage~
Statistical Findings
* 30% of the women interviewed in this study said that, after their miscarriages, they had thoughts about suicide.
* 32% of the mothers named their babies, some before they were pregnant, some during their pregnancies, and some after their miscarriages.
* 36% of the women said their losses triggered thoughts about their own mortality.
* 38%  of the women recognized in themselves a sense of searching for their lost babies.
* Although less than 10% of the women experienced what they labeled as panic attacks
before their miscarriages, 38% of the women said they experienced panic attacks after their miscarriages.
* 41%  of the women said they felt the desire or yearnings to do things that seemed odd or irrational to them.
* 42%  of the women recalled having nightmares.
* 43% of them felt a closeness or contact with their babies at the time of the interviews.
* 44% of the mothers felt concern about their own sanity.
* Following 48% of the miscarriages, women at some point in time doubted they would ever get through their grief.
* Although almost none of the women had physical evidence or medical verification of their babies' genders, 50% of them "had a feeling" about the sex of their babies.
* 50% of the women felt a sence of closeness or contact with their babies after their miscarriages.
* 55% of the mothers created mementos of their babies.
* 58% of the women remembered dreaming about their babies after their miscarriages.
* During 62% of the pregnancies, the women thought of themselves as mothers to their babies.
* Following 63% of the miscarriages, women said they felt devastated.
* 64% of the women said their sex drives changed following their miscarriages.
* 64% of the mothers interviewed, consciously visualized their babies during their pregnancies.
* 69% of the women felt that the pain from their miscarriages would never completely go away.
* 71% of the miscarriages were experienced by mothers as the death of their children.
* 73% of the women felt a sence of internal chaos or disorder.
* 73% of the women worried that they had somehow inadvertently caused the demise of their babies.
* At the time of or after their miscarriages, 74% of the women felt out of control emotionally and/or physically.
* Following 81% of the miscarriages in the study, the mothers felt that a part of them had died.
* After 83% of the miscarriages, mothers felt loneliness.
(From the book "Miscarriage- Women Sharing From The Heart" By: Marie Allen, PhD & Shelly Marks, MS)




~What is a Miscarriage?~
Miscarriage is the loss of a baby,
but it is also
the loss of a dream,
the loss of a future,
the loss of innocence,
the loss of control,
the loss of relationships,
the loss of trusting your body,
the loss of an expected outcome.

More statistics...
Statistics mean very little if you are directly involved, because your failure rate in this miscarriage is 100%. But for the record here are some facts.
*One of of every four women has experienced at least one miscarriage.
*15-25% of all known pregnancies end in miscarriage. An estimated 160,000 miscarriages occur in the U.S. every year.
*75% of all pregnancy losses occur before the 14th week of pregnancy. In over half of the cases, the cause is undetermined.
*After one miscarriage, the risk of a second one does not increase.
*After a second miscarriage, your chance of attaining a full term birth is 80%.
*Bleeding occurs in 1/3 of all pregnancies in the first trimester. In over half of those pregnancies, the bleeding resolves and a normal pregnancy ensues.

~What People Say~
The following commonly heard statements by well meaning people are not considered helpful to most bereaved parents. Often people resort to talk because they mistakenly believe that saying something to a bereaved person will make that person feel better or give them hope. But words won't take your sorrow away. A knowing look, a hug, the willingness to just be there is what will be most helpful.
The words below offer hollow consolation, but you will probably have to endure some of them. Try not to let them get you down and, above all, don't allow them to minimize your loss or belittle your experience of that loss.

"This is just nature's way of dealing with an imperfect child."
"Everyone has miscarriages."
"It's no big deal."
"I understand" (unless you've actually been there)
"It wasn't really a baby yet."
"Now you can finish school before getting pregnant again."
"Don't worry. You'll get pregnant again."
"Maybe you're not meant to have children."
"What did you do wrong?"
"At least you never felt movement or saw the baby."
"I don't know why you keep doing this to yourself."

~Words That are Helpful~
"I'm so sorry for your loss."
"You must feel terrible. Would you like to talk about it?"
"I don't know what to say, but I'll be glad to listen."
"I can only imagine what this must be like for you."
"I'll keep hoping for you, even though I know it's hard for you to hope right now."
(From the book "Too Soon A Memory" By: Pat Schwiebert, RN)
Click 'next' to read info. about ectopic pregnancy