Take On Me, Take Me On

'80s Music
Hair rock owned the last half of the decade, one that was also populated with new wave, punk, and heavy metal. New wave, punk and hair rock have fallen from the mainstream, while today's metal practitioners say "We're not heavy metal! We play hard rock!", bands that aren't metal claim to be metal, (Hey, nu-metal bands! Just tuning way down and playing slow, easy shit does not make you Black Sabbath. Or heavy. You just sound like a bunch of trendy pussies that don't know how to play guitar. Besides, Iommi played guitar solos) or toss raps into their songs. Most importantly, the eighties produced some of the best heavy metal, starting with the New Wave of British Heavy Metal in the early '80s and continuing with the American thrash metal bands of the mid to late '80s.
Hear some of these bands and other bands that kick ass on Night of the Living '80s Radio

Ratt was just good dirty fun. Stephen Pearcy, Warren DeMartini & co. (you sound like an authority on the subject if you name some band members) made really fun, rokken songs about chicks and... chicks. Their songs are deceptively hard to play. The ultimate '80s dude would drive an IROC, have a BMX mullet, wear a red leather jacket and acid-washed jeans while blasting Ratt on the stereo.

If there ever was a metal band that should have plain white album covers with the word 'METAL' on them, it should be Armored Saint. They're not speed metal, doom metal, death metal or thrash metal. They are just metal. Armored Saint, in my opinion (the world's smartest), was one of the three greatest bands of the eighties, along with Metallica and the next band in this list. John Bush (now with Anthrax) has an extremely powerful growl while still being able to hit the high notes. The late Dave Pritchard's guitar work was flat-ass amazing, Joey Vera's bass kicks your skull in, and Gonzo can drum his ass off. You really need to buy one of their albums. Now. Why are you still reading this? You're supposed to be in the metal section of the record store by now. Dumbass.

Iron Maiden was probably the most famous New Wave of British Heavy Metal band. Have you ever heard a band with twin harmonizing lead guitars? It's quite an experience. Not only that, but Iron Maiden had Steve Harris, regarded by any critic with half a brain as the best metal bassist in history (with Cliff Burton and "metal friendly" Les Claypool running second and third). Bruce Dickinson is a wailer, able to reach insanely high notes. Amazing.

The New Wave of British Heavy Metal changed music forever, and most people don't even know what the hell it is. The NWOBHM lasted from '79-'82, and produced tons of great bands like Diamond Head, Iron Maiden, Tygers of Pan Tang, Def Leppard, Angel Witch, Venom, Parallex, and Jaguar. The songs all had wailing singers, huge middle parts, and fast riffing. These are very good things. This site is a very comprehensive roundup of just about every NWOBHM band, no matter how obscure. They even have information on the first band named Toad The Wet Sprocket. I didn't think that it was possible for two different bands to come up with a name like that.

"Metal Church will find you, can't run very far" - Metal Church, 1984. Televangelist voice: "Let Metal Church find you today. The Metal Church loves you; won't you love it back? The number's at the bottom of your screen. Our operators will speed a Metal Church starter kit to your front door that contains a three-song CD or cassette tape and a biography of the Holy Ones. If you are already a member of the Metal Church Congregation, please help others find the Metal Church by spreading the word or with a generous donation. It's the same number. Please, let the Metal Church into your life." Metal Church flat-out rules. Their version of Deep Purple's "Highway Star" sounds like the original should have sounded like that in the first place. The speed and power of Metal Church is phenomenal.

Well, they certainly do look like chicks.

In 1989, I was 10 years old and really starting to get into hair rock. Skid Row was there. Every time I got a new BMX bike, Skid Row was there. When I had a bunch of friends over to play Super Mario 2, Skid Row was there. When I got my first kiss, Skid Row was there. Being 10 was cool. Skid Row, I remember you.

dude

If you don't look like this fellow, you're not a true eighties music fan.

Def Leppard started out as a New Wave of British Heavy Metal band, and then went on to mainstream success with party anthems about drinking and women. Their very early stuff (late '70s) is NWOBHMtastic, while still retaining the mostly fun vibe of their later songs. I saw them live in Huntington, West Virginia, in the fall of 2000. It was totally rad to the max!

Blondie carried a lot of attitude in their songs and on stage. So much attitude that each time I see a picture of Debbie Harry, I think even more that she wants me. Why else would she write songs that say "Call me for some overtime", "One way or another, I'm gonna find ya... I'll getcha, getcha, gitcha, gitcha, gitcha", and "I will drive past your house"? "Call Me" would make a great speed metal song.

Dokken was a huge band in the '80s, but is not remembered as well as Guns 'N Roses, Poison, or Def Leppard. Dokken was so important to '80s music that between '85 and '88, the spelling of "Rockin" was changed to "Rokken". Check a dictionary from that era and you'll see what I mean. George Lynch is a really, really good guitar player, so good that his signature ESP guitar retails for $2500. Too bad that he couldn't get along with the rest of the band.