The Last Word on… ..........................................Tipping

Recently I was driving through New Jersey, as quickly as I could, of course and stopped to get some gas for my car. Now in case you weren’t aware, it is illegal to pump your own gas in New Jersey and the procedure must be performed by the someone who has obtained at least a 7^th grade education or is related to the owner of the gas station. Anyway, when the attendant comes by to tell me my total is 17.90 I handed him a $20 and told him to keep it. "Thanks" he says as though I have 3 eyes (although one is actually a pimple I’ve been working since the parkway). Obviously, he doesn’t get too many tips. Sad, considering this guy sits outside in the freezing, rainy, and/or sweltering weather pumping gas all day and all he’s really getting in return is an inflated sense of self from the constant inhalation of gas fumes. With tipping becoming an ever-confusing area and given the fact that I’m in the business myself, I offer you this maxim. Tip everyone!!!…However, if you can’t, here are some clarifications as to certain occupations.

The guy at the pizza counter. The dude with the bucket in front of him that reads "Tips are appreciated." Hey, so is a nice backrub but you don’t see me sitting at the men’s room on the turnpike with a similar sign…anymore. While you don’t need a college degree to differentiate between regular and stuffed crust, this guy deserves a buck or two even if he is only going to spend it a fifth lip piercing.

Your proctologist. I can’t think of anyone who deserves a tip more than this guy? Believe me people, this guy is not in love with his work. If he were, then every time you left the office he would hand you a tip saying "hey thanks for really showing me something today." What scares me is mine can never remember my name until after the exam.

The mailman. People always tend to leave this guy a bottle of whiskey. Whose brainchild was this? Alcohol; what better gift for someone whose job requirements put him behind the wheel of a car regardless of rain sleet and snow. Don’t be surprised when your mail starts arriving twenty minutes after last call and your Playboys show up without the wrappers. A more practical tip/gift would be membership at a gun club…I mean really for these guys it’s only a matter of time and this can only slide you down your carrier’s personal "mailing" list.

Stewardesses. I think it’s nice that we tip these people but what about the guy actually doing all the work, don’t the pilots deserve a little something. Think of how much fun air travel be with announcements like…"this is Captain Smith, we’ll be flying at 37,000 feet and for a few extra bucks the people on the right can watch me suck those geese through the engine."

The Bathroom Attendant. Given the very nature of the job you have to tip these guys. (I know being one of my summer jobs was bathroom attendant in a port-o-potty). As long as you’re tipping this guy, you may as well get the most out of it though. So here’s what you do. Give the attendant half of a ripped twenty and assure them they will receive the other half if they shriek "nice work" towards the ladies room the entire time you’re standing at the urinal.

I don’t know where tipping started and I certainly don’t know where it will end but I think like so many other things the point of it all gets lost. But when did we decide it was cash or material? Simply put, a tip is a way of saying thanks for giving a little something extra.

Have you ever held the door for someone older and see their genuine smile in return? Or ever told a little girl "nice outfit" and have her bury her head in shyness in her mother’s waist? Have you ever visited a sick relative and just held their hand and feel them clench yours back as though it were the only hand in the world? All of these were tips. The most simple "thank you" for giving a little something extra…of yourself. Serve each other well

Hey you read my whole article…thanks for the tip.

xoxo
.....-g

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