Flashbacks

Flashbacks... What, Why and How To Cope

What Are Flashbacks?

Flashbacks are memories of past trauma that a person has experienced. They can come in many different forms. You may be able to see what happened to you in the form of pictures, sounds or smells. You may have bodily sensations and you might feel someone touching you, or feel part of the trauma like it is actually happening again. Specific feelings can also be flashbacks of abuse - you may suddenly feel a sense of panic, being trapped or feeling powerless - even if you have no specific memories of abuse.

Terrifying, unbearable, scary, uncontrollable, confusing... These and many other words are what a survivor uses to describe how a flashback feels.

Flashbacks are one of the most confusing and frightening ordeals a survivor faces after abuse or an assault. But although they are frightening and feel out of control they are a healthy sign that you are ready to heal.

Not knowing why a flashback happens makes dealing with them very hard and confusing for survivors.

Why Do Flashbacks Happen?

Our minds are wonderful devices; they protect us from extreme pain and suffering. Sometimes our minds do this by actually blocking out the traumatic event from our memory. Only when our mind knows that we are ready to cope with the memories and feelings does it bring the events to our attention. More often than not this happens in the form of a flashback. Often flashbacks are caused by triggers - a trigger being something which reminds a survivor of the trauma, perhaps a specific smell or object.

Emotionally loaded, flashbacks bring back feelings from the actual trauma. Thoughts, actions and emotions that the survivor kept repressed during the trauma may be to blame for some of the vivid memories that flashbacks can bring.

The fact that flashbacks seem uncontrollable and unpredictable makes them something which can seem impossible to deal with. In fact they are just part of the natural healing process. When we begin to understand why we have flashbacks, what triggers them and we are not as paralysed by them, we can move further along the path to healing. Flashbacks are a natural part of healing and they are safe. Your mind is now telling you that it is no longer necessary to block such memories.

What Can You Do To Cope With Flashbacks?

There are many things that you can try in order to cope with flashbacks. Don't expect them to get rid of a flashback first time though, because like most things it takes perseverance for them to help significantly. Some things you try might work for you, and some may not, you just have to keep trying until you find something that helps you. Here are some suggestions to try:

* Try and focus on something pleasant - a smell or feeling, something that relaxes you and reminds you of happiness.
* Find a safe way to let your anger out. I try running on the spot as fast as I can. It helps to let anger out, focus on something else, and you can try and pretend that you are 'running away' from the flashback and the bad feelings it brings.
* If you want to be held by someone and feel safe, then ask a friend or someone you trust to gently hold you and talk to you until the flashback is over. This is easier if you have people close to you who know what happened to you and you feel safe talking to them..
* Try to 'ground' yourself. This involves touching and feeling things around you - stamp your feet, touch the walls, smell the air, look at everything around you. It may feel stupid, but it helps to bring you back to the present.
* Do something to make yourself feel warm, safe and comfortable - wrap yourself up in a fluffy blanket, curl up into a ball, just whatever helps you.
* Distraction is one of the best ways to help flashbacks. Try to remember something challenging - like naming facts that you have learnt or humming or remembering the lyrics to songs.
* Find an ice cube and hold it as tightly as you can, in the same hand, for as long as the flashback lasts. The cold feeling can help ground and distract you - you need to hold it tightly though.
* Tell yourself that you are having a flashback, and that this is normal, you are not crazy. What happened, happened in the past and you are safe now. The worst is over.
* Count and control your breathing. Breathe slowly and deeply. Count to 5 as you breathe in through your nose, then count to 5 again as you breathe out through your mouth. Carry this on for as long as you need to control the panic that often comes with flashbacks.
* Flashbacks are very powerful experiences so it is important that you look after yourself once they are over. Have a nice warm bath, or a sleep, listen to some soothing music or just have some time alone. The 'child' inside you deserves to be looked after, so don't blame your child, look after him or her - they have already been through enough, so have you.

Gathering Information About Your Flashbacks

An important part of learning how to cope with flashbacks is finding out as much information about them as you possibly can. It will also help your healing process as you learn the triggers for your flashbacks and how you deal with them. So whenever you have a flashback write down as much information about it as you can. Here are some suggested headings:

* What was the flashback about?
* Could anything have triggered the flashback, ie, a person, place, smell, object, situation?
* What coping techniques did you use to help with the flashback? And which ones helped?
* What time of day/week was it?
* What kind of feelings did you have before, during and after the flashback?

As you gather this information you may begin to see what exactly your triggers are and whether there are any particular patterns. With this information you can try and make some sort of flashback plan which will help with future flashbacks. Finding your triggers and working with a therapist on them will also greatly help.