| If You Are Raped |
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| Get to a safe area as soon as possible. |
| Call someone for help - If you cannot call the police or a rape crisis centre yourself have someone do it for you as soon as possible. |
| Getting medical help is a necessity - Even if you decide not to prosecute you need to be seen by a Dr who can check for injuries. Sometimes injuries are not always apparent immediately, so it is best to be on the safe side and see a Dr. |
| Do not change your clothes (especially if you think you might file charges) - Don't comb your hair, shower, use the bathroom (if possible) or change anything about yourself, until after you've had an examination by a Doctor. Valuable evidence can be destroyed by something as simple as drinking something or using the bathroom. Although your first instinct after rape will be to feel clean and get rid of the dirt you may feel, it is very important that you try not to do these things. Most of the time the police will want to keep your clothing to look for evidence. It's a good idea to have someone bring you a complete new set of clothing if possible. If you do decide to report the crime the police will have some very difficult questions to ask you. The questions may not make a lot of sense but there is a reason behind each of them. If you feel uncomfortable being asked personal questions by a man, then you can request a female officer or a female member of your local rape crisis centre. Some statistics say that the chances of being raped are 1 in 4. Rape is a crime. It isn't something that you need to blame yourself for. It happened because someone wanted to take advantage of someone else. Rape has very little to do with sex and is more a crime of power and control where sex is the weapon used against you. One thing that is nearly impossible at first to realise, is that what happened to you was not your fault. I don't care what you did, where you were, what you said, or what you were wearing - being raped is not your fault. You are only responsible for your actions, not the actions of another person. The choices you made must have been the right ones if you are able to read this. Not every woman who is raped lived through it. You did and that's what is most important. You may ask yourself, "Why did this happen to me?" There aren't any easy answers. It comes down to a choice one person made to control another person. Rape isn't a crime about sex. Sex is only the weapon. It's even harder if you know the person who raped you. Yet, studies show us that in most cases the perpetrator is known to the victim. That doesn't mean that what happened to you wasn't rape. Even if you have consented to sex with this person before, but didn't this time, it's still rape. You may feel completely betrayed because the person who did this was someone you knew and trusted. However, most rapes are committed by someone the victim knows and trusts. That's part of what makes this crime even more awful. No matter how much you trusted this person, the actions taken against you are inexcusable. This is not something which is your fault. Any shame that you feel is shame that belongs to your attacker, not you. I know that is easier said than done but it's true. It doesn't need to be violent to be rape. Sometimes when rape is committed by someone close, it isn't violent. Any sex without a person's consent or sex with a child, is rape, no matter how gentle or un-threatening it seems. |
| *There is no shame in doing whatever you need to do, to survive a rape.* |
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