Nick had left a couple of messages for Shayna on her home and cell phones and she hadn’t called him back all weekend. He really wanted to talk to her, tell her how much he really did love her. What if he poured his heart out and she told him no? He never really thought she would be over him. He still thought about her that way, she still had to think about him the same way right? He was driving over to Craig’s apartment that night to hang out and watch a basketball game. He definitely hadn’t spent a lot of time with Craig lately and he felt bad. Craig was the only one of his friends he could cry in front of and not get joked on. The only one of his friends he could talk about his feelings with and not be told he was being soft.
He walked into the kitchen and took out a bottled water,
“Hey man, want one?” Craig looked up,
“Yeah, thanks.” He sat back down and sighed loudly. Craig looked over and smiled. That sigh, it was the cue that Nick wanted to talk,
“Everything alright?” Nick looked over,
“Oh yeah I’m cool man.” They went back to watching the game until ten minutes later Nick sighed again,
“Hey Craig?” He smiled,
“Yes Nick?” Nick turned to him,
“How do I get her back?” Craig bit his lip and looked over at the TV before looking back at Nick,
“You ever think you can’t get her back? That maybe she is better off where she is?” Nick’s eyes widened as they darted around the room, not focusing on anything.
“Every woman you are with is not going to want to be with you for life, love you for life.” Nick played with the bottle in his hand; he didn’t know what to say.
“Maybe you should think long and hard about what you want before you do something to mess up what she has now.” He turned to Craig,
“What does that mean?” He sighed,
“It means, if you aren’t willing to be what she wants, if you aren’t going to be better…then leave her alone.” Nick shook his head,
“But I love her, I want her back, isn’t that enough? What about her? Are you saying I’m the problem and she’s perfect?” Craig shook his head,
“No, but you’re the one who wants the relationship back…stop worrying about what someone else needs to do and take responsibility for what you need to do…we’re talking about you. If she wants to get back in a relationship with you then she needs to evaluate herself too but you need to get your shit together first before you worry about her or anyone else.” He sat back and closed his eyes thinking over what Craig told him,
“Ok and remind me to not ask your advice anymore.” He laughed as Craig slapped him on the shoulder.
He was sitting at home that day with the guys and he walked into the kitchen and dialed her number,
“Hello?” He took a deep breath,
“Hi Shay.” There was a silence that made his stomach fall,
“Hey.” He sighed; she wasn’t going to make this easy,
“Um…how are you?”
“I’m okay…I can’t talk I’m leaving soon.” He ran his hands through his hair,
“I haven’t heard from you in a while.”
“I was away for the weekend.”
“Look Shayna, it seems like…are you mad at me?” He heard her laugh a little,
“Nick, I really don’t want to talk to you right now.” He frowned,
“What? Why not? What did I do?”
“I’m on my way out…I gotta go.” He listened to the click and sat there wondering what was going on. Hearing her brush him off like that hurt him more than he thought. He snapped back to attention when the busy signal of the phone blared in his ear. He walked back into the living room and was about to sit when Sam called out,
“Hey, lets go to the mall. I need to get those shoes.” They all shrugged. Nick sighed and put his cap on,
“Fine with me, I’m not driving though.”
They were sitting in the food court when Sam hit Nick on the shoulder,
“Dude, there’s Shayna with some old dude.” He looked over to see them walking to a nearby table. He stood up and walked over to her table as he saw the man walk away,
“Hi Shayna.” Her eyes looked up and widened when she saw him,
“What are you doing here?” He smiled uneasily,
“It’s the mall Shayna.” She looked over her shoulder and back at him,
“Now isn’t a good time.” He nodded at her,
“I’m not starting anything, I just wanted to come over and say hi. Why can’t you talk to me anymore…I don’t understand…did I do something?” She was about to answer when he walked back over to join them and sat down next to Shayna. She looked at him and smiled and it broke his heart to see her smile and give her attention to him. He felt like a jackass standing there, telling himself he should leave but he couldn’t move. He looked up at him,
“Hi, I’m Bill.” He stretched out his hand and Nick shook it and nodded his head at him as Shayna cleared her throat,
“Bill this is Nick, Nick this is my boyfriend Bill.” My boyfriend Bill? If that wasn’t a slap in the face he didn't know what was. He didn’t have time to think about it because he could see the change on Bill’s face and how quickly his hand fell out of his. He must know who I am, he thought. For a split second he thought about being an ass but his heart was still in his throat.
“Oh, you’re in that kid’s group right?” He asked as he sat back and put his arm around Shayna. OK, what the hell, I thought I was supposed to be the young one? He laughed lightly,
“Well, we have a lot of older…uh, fans, right Shayna?” He smirked and looked at Shayna as he finished his comment and he could see the look on her face and he almost felt bad until he looked over and saw the anger on Bill’s face. His smirk remained as he turned back to Bill,
“Well, nice meeting you Bill.” He smirk disappeared and was replaced with a smile as he turned to Shayna,
“Bye Shay, see ya around.” He walked off and sat back down at the table,
“Ok, what are we doing now?” They started talking but all he could think of was Shayna. Damn, he thought, what the hell is wrong with me, I don’t even know what I want anymore.
Home
Full Circle
Chapter 41