YES, I WANT YOU TO GIVE ME THE PHONE NUMBER OF WHERE YOU ARE STAYING NOW BECAUSE I WANT TO HEAR THE VOICE OF MY HEART. IN SHORT MY HEART, I WANT YOU TO CALL ME AS SOON AS YOU RECEIVE THIS MAIL ON MY PRIVATE PHONE NUMBER WHICH I HAVE GIVEN TO YOU BEFORE, IN CASE YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN IT, THIS IS IT AGAIN 234 80 332 90669. I AM WAITING FOR YOUR URGENT CALL AND YOUR BEAUTIFUL VOICE.
WONDERFUL! THE FLAT YOU BOUGHT IS A BEATIFUL ONE. DID YOU JUST BUY THE ENTIRE BUILDING WHICH YOU SENT TO ME THROUGH ATTACHMENT ? OR JUST A FLAT ON THAT BUILDING?
MY BABY AND MY SWEET HAERT, WHEN NEXT YOU WANT TO DO SOME THING THAT IS VERY IMPORTANT, ALWAYS GET TO ME FIRST AND SEEK MY OPINION SO AS FOR YOU TO AVOID MAKING A MISTAKE. ( Ha...ha….ha…..ha…..ha, control Susie? I don’t think so asshole. She can get real bitchy.)
IF YOU DO NOT HEAR FROM THE ATTORNEY IN TIME TODAY, JUST TRY TO GIVE HIM A CALL IN HIS PHONE NUMBER, BECAUSE I WANT US TO RUSH EVERY THING AND I DO NOT HAVE ANY MONEY AGAIN WITH ME AS AT NOW AFTER I HAVE SPENT ALL I HAD IN THIS OUR TRANSACTION AND EVEN TO BUY CHRISTMAS THINGS FOR MY SELF. AND I WOULD NOT LIKE TO BOTHER YOU. SO TRY TO CALL THE ATTORNEY BEFORE THE END OF TODAY SO THAT HE COULD START OUR JOB AS SOON AS POSSIBLE WHICH WILL LEAD US TO REALISING THIS FUND BEFORE THE END OF THIS WEEK. YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT THURSDAY AND FRIDAY OF THIS WEEK ARE PUBLIC HOLIDAYS HERE IN MY COUNTRY.
AMONG ALL MY BABY AND MY HEART, I LOVE YOU , I CARE FOR YOU AND I CHERISH EVERY THING AND ANY THING ABOUT YOU.
WAITING FOR YOUR URGENT RESPONSE.
BEST REGARDS,
MOHAMMED(got mike?)
NOTE: DID YOU SEE ME IN YOUR DREAM ? I IMMAGINED YOU IN MY DREAM AND I MADE A VERY WONDERFUL LOVE WITH YOU. YOU REALLY FELT SATISFIED WITH ME IN THE DREAM AND I KNOW THAT YOU ARE GOING TO FILL 100% ALRIGHT WHEN WE WILL SEE EACH OTHER..
My silly man, I did buy the entire building. It is one giant flat. Not sure why its called a flat, ha..ha..not very flat is it? ha..ha..ha.. I also bought a brand new Mercedes for the garage. I'm sorry I didn't consult with you before buying the flat or the Mercedes as I should have because I'm sure you being involved with large transactions know more about money matters then I do.
Let me ask you my sweet. My flat is very large 6,000 square feet with 6 bedrooms and 8 bathrooms, two kitchens and a small doghouse and a partridge in a pear tree, so I'm thinking of hiring two attendants to live in the flat year round as I will only be there two months out of each year. How much should I offer the natives? I'm thinking of $30,000 each a year. Is that too low?
Nothing from the attorney. Mohamed, I think you should fire him and look for a new attorney. Should I contact an attorney here in Jamica? I want to finalize this so we can pursue a possible love interest or at the least some good love making sessions.
I'm sorry this email is so long. I'm off today to go hike in a volcanoe.
Yours,
Suzie
DEAR SUSIE MY HEART,
I AM HIGHLY IMPRESSED WITH THE SIZE AND THE NATURE OF THE HOUSE YOU BOUGHT.THE MERCEDES YOU BOUGHT TOO IS GOOD, SO THAT ANY TIME WE JUMP INTO JAMAICA WE WILL NOT HAVE A PROBLEM OF ACCOMODATION AND WE WILL NOT HAVE A PROBLEM OF CAR TO MOVE AROUND THE CITY. WHAT KIND OF MERCEDES IS THAT? $30,000 PER YEAR IS GOOD ENOUGH FOR THE NATIVE TO BE TAKING CARE OF OUR HOUSE. I AM VERY HAPPY FOR ALL YOU HAVE DONE SO FAR. BUT MAKE SURE YOU CONSULT ME FIRST BEFORE YOU BUY ANOTHER THING. I HAVE TAKEN YOUR APPOLOGY TO ME BECAUSE YOU ARE MY HEART.
MY HEART LET ME TELL YOU, JUMPING FROM ONE ATTORNEY TO ANOTHER IS NOT THE BEST FOR US IN THIS PARTICULAR TRANSACTION AND IN LIFE TOO. SO, IT IS BETTER FOR US TO MOVE AHEAD WITH THE ATTORNEY WHICH WE HAVE ALREADY CONTACTED AND HE USED TO DO JOBS FOR FORIEGNERS TOO SO HE IS GOOD. AND FOR US TO HIRE AN ATTORNEY FROM JAMAICA DOES NOT GO WELL AT ALL, BECAUSE HE IS NOT A REGISTERED MEMBER OF THE NIGERIAN LAWYERS ASSOCIATION AND HE IS ALSO NOT A REGISTERED MEMBER OF THE NIGERIAN BAR ASSOCAITION . AND HE DOES NOT KNOW THE ETHICS OF THE NIGERIAN LAW. SO THAT ONE IS REAL OUT FROM THE LINE.
BUT HAVE CALLED THE ATTORNEY AS I HAVE TOLD YOU TO DO TODAY?
MY HEART, WHY DO YOU FIND IT VERY DIFFICULT TO CALL ME? OR TO GIVE ME YOUR PHONE NUMBER SO THAT I CAN CALL YOU AND HEAR YOUR VOICE? IT SEEMS THAT THERE ARE THINGS YOU ARE DODGING FROM ME? MY SWEET HEART , JUST BE OPEN AND FRANK WITH ME.
WAITING FOR YOUR URGENT RESPONSE.
BEST REGARDS,
MOHAMMED(got mike?)
Mohamed,
I'm rushing off on tour guide today (volcanoe). My silly dear you know I can't talk on the phone as I'm traveling. Silly man. My phone will be hooked up in my flat on Friday or so they say. The natives here work real slooooooooooow. So it could be two Fridays from now. I think I'm flying back to New York on Friday for two days. Not sure yet. My divorice attorney has some more divorice money for me or he wants some more money before I spend it all...ha..ha..
I'm soooooooooooooooooooo excited about my purchase of my new flat. I don't know what the model of the Mercedes is as I don't know cars real well. It's good though like my old car.
Okay, I will offer the natives $30,000 dollars a year. They are real nice. They took some pictures for me today. I'll send some to you when I sit down for two seconds. Love it here.
Mohamed, please call the attorney. I am on holiday and can't take time out to talk to attourneys. Please my dear you must do most of the work now and I promise I will make it up to you.
Kisses,
Suzie (got mike?)
( Note how lazy Susie is she won’t even call the attorney for a chance to receive millions of dollars. Dumb bitch.)
DEAR SUSIE MY HEART,
I AM NOT SUPPOSE TO CALL THE ATTORNEY, YOU ARE THE ONE THAT IS SUPPOSE TO CALL THE ATTORNEY AND MAIL THE ATTORNEY TO START THE JOB FOR US AND I WILL MONITOR HIM FROM HERE UNTILL THE FUND IS TRANSFERED TO YOU. LET US RUSH AND FASTEN THIS TRANSACTION. YOU ARE DELAYING THE TRANSACTION. YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT , IT IS NOT EASY TO MAKE BIG MONEY. ( Stealing money is hard work.)
I WOULD HAVE LOVED TO BE WITH YOU ON THIS TOUR GUIDE BUT I AM FAR FROM YOU NOW AND THAT IS WHY I AM FIGHTING TO MAKE SURE THAT WE REALISE THE FUND AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, SO THAT WE WILL BE ENJOYING TOGETHER.
SUSIE MY HEART, DO NOT FAIL TO SEND THE PICTURES WHICH YOU TOOK WITH THE NATIVES TO ME AS YOU PROMISED ME.
MY HEART SUSIE, I AM REALLY AND REALLY RUNING SHORT OF MONEY WITH ME NOW AFTER SPENDING ALL I HAVE IN THIS OUR TRANSACTION, SO PLEASE MY HEART I WANT JUST LITTLE MONEY FROM YOU AS SOON AS POSSIBLE TO ENABLE ME TO HOLD ON , UNTILL OUR FUND IS TRANSFERED TO YOU.
WAITING FOR YOUR URGENT RESPONSE AS SOON AS YOU RECEIVE THIS MAIL.
LET OUR LOVE RAIN FOR EVER.
FROM YOUR HEART,
MOHAMMED(got mike?)
My Mohamed,
I have emailed that stupid attorney twice and he hasn't emailed me back. Mohamed please fire his sorry ass and get another attorney. I can't stand incompetent people and it is obvious this attorney has his head up his ass. I will not email him anymore until you rid yourself of this thief and obtain another attorney.
I am sorry for my mood, my dear, but I am not feeling well. The food that the natives have been feeding me is making me sick. I have a serious case of the G.I. shits.
Yes I will send pictures. I gave the natives $3,000 to go buy me a new digital camera. When I get it I'll take some pictures and see if I can download the pics to my laptop if I ever get off the toilet.
My dear if you're in need of a little money just until our transaction is complete all you need do is ask. Silly man.
You see I am now more interested in you then I am in our business transaction. I am already a wealthy woman. However, I would like to complete our business and allow you to keep all the money. ( So unselfish of Susie)
I must go dear, toilet is calling me again.
Love and kisses,
Suzie (got mike?)
DEAR SUSIE MY HEART,
I HAVE STARTED FEELING BAd ON HEARING THAT YOU ARE NOT WELL. MY HEART PLEASE STOP EATING ALL THEIR NATIVE ( Mohammed offers some nutritional advice.) FOOD FOR YOUR GOOD HEALTH BECAUSE I WOULD NOT LIKE TO LOOSE YOU AT ALL IN MY LIFE.
IT IS TOO LATE NOW HERE , I WANT TO GO TO BED BUT BEFORE I GO TO BED, I MUST PRAY FOR YOU AND PUT YOU IN MY PRAYERS.
WAITING FOR YOUR URGENT RESPONSE.
YOUR HEART,
MOHAMMED(got mike?)
OH! SUSIE MY HEART,
WHERE ARE YOU? WHAT IS HAPPENING? WHY I HAVE NOT HEARD FROM YOU UP TO THIS TIME? OH! OH! ARE YOU STILL SICK? (due to a severe case of the G.I. shits Susie had been ignoring Mohammed.) BECAUSE OF THE NATIVE FOOD YOU HAVE TAKEN? BUT I PRAYED FOR YOU. YOU ARE SUPPOSE TO BE WELL BY NOW. PLEASE MY HEART I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU.
WAITING FOR YOUR URGENT RESPONSE AS SOON AS YOU RECEIVE THIS MAIL, IF YOU WANT ME TO BE ALIFE.
FROM YOUR HEART OF YOUR HEARTS,
MOHAMMED( got mike?).
Mohamed, I am here. I'm afraid our business isn't working out. The attorney hasn't emailed me yet. Still suffering from the G.I. shits.
Yours,
Suzie
( Suzie sends Mohammed a picture. Can you guess who this famous actress is?)
Mohamed, ah, it wasn't the native food it was the toxic gases released from the volcanoe that made me sick. I'm better. I found two pictur
es on my computer but I'm kind of afraid to send one of them but I want to show you how much weight I lost after I found Mike in bed with that whore. Please don't judge me for my weight. I'm now 115lbs.
Did you find a new attorney?
Faithfully yours,
Suzie ( Figured out who the famous fat-ass actress is yet?)
DEAR SUSIE MY HEART,
I WAS UNABLE TO GET BACK TO YOU AGAIN THROUGH YESTERDAY BECAUSE I STARTED FEELING FEVER WHICH LED TO MARLARIA SICKNESS WHICH IS NORMALLY AN AFRICAN SICKNESS. THAT WAS WHY I COULD NOT GET BACK TO YOU BUT I AM GETTING WELL NOW AFTER TAKING SOME DRUGS.
SO, UPTO THIS TIME THE ATTORNEY HAS NOT REPPLIED YOU BACK? WHICH MEANS HE IS NOT SERIOUS. I WILL LOOK AND FIND FOR ANOTHER ATTORNEY WHO WILL DO THE JOB FOR US AS SOON AS POSSIBLE BECAUSE WE HAVE WASTED A LOT OF TIME IN REALISING THIS FUND. I WILL GIVE YOU HIS CONTACT BEFORE THE END OF TODAY.
SUSIE MY HEART, DO YOU KNOW I HAVE LOOKED AND WATCHED YOUR PICTURE FOR ALMOST TWENTY TIMES THIS MORNING? WHAT A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN YOU ARE? YOU ARE THE KIND OF WOMAN I AM LOOKING TO HAVE. YOU ARE THE KIND OF WOMAN I AM PRAYING TO GOD TO GIVE ME BECAUSE YOU HAVE THE SHAPE, THE STATURE I WANT IN A WOMAN AND AT THE SAME TIME I LIKE FAT WOMEN AND YOU ARE FAT, SO YOU ARE MINE AND YOU KNOW THAT GOD DOES NOT DO MISTAKE IN ANY WAY OR IN ANY THING , THAT IS WHY HE IS BRINGING TWO US TOGETHER. DR. MIKE IS NOT YOU REAL HUSBAND, HE IS FAKE THAT IS WHY HE WAS UNABLE TO UNDERSTAND YOU LIFE STYLE.
THANK GOD THAT YOU ARE GETTING WELL FROM YOUR SICKNESS, I AM EVEN THINKING THAT , IT MAY BE BECAUSE OF THE SHOCK I RECEIVE FROM YOU ON HEARING THAT YOU WERE NOT WELL THAT MADE ME TO FELL SICK. HOPE YOU ARE REALLY IMPROVING IN YOUR HEALTH?
WAITING FOR YOUR URGENT RESPONSE.
FROM YOUR HEART,
MOHAMMED( GOT MIKE?)
(I sure hope he likes the new and improved Susie or this love affair could be over.)
Dear Mohammed, I am sad in reading this email as I am not the same weight that you like in a woman. I do not weigh that amount anymore. I will attach the new me. That is an old photo and through my divorice I lost all that weight. I hope you like me in my new weight.
Sorry to hear about the African sickness. I can only imagine how bad you must feel today this will surely slow our love making down.
I emailed the attorney as you requested and have not heard back from him. These Nigerian attorney's are not very good workers. I think I should find an attorney in the United States, I know many. They are all good.
What do you think?
Sincerely yours,
Suzie 
(The new and improved Susie. Also note she is wearing the exact outfit except I added the cross straps across her chest and the beautiful bracelet. Have you figured out who it is? Yep, pretty woman herself, Julia Roberts.)
PS Flying to New York for Christmas. Please send me a photo of yourself if you still love me.
DEAR SUSIE MY HEART,
THIS IS THE NAME AND THE CONTACT INFORMATION OF THE ATTORNEY I JUST SELECTED WHO CAN DO THE JOB FOR US.
HIS NAME IS : BARRISTER VINCENT IBEH, HE IS THE HEAD OF CHAMBER IBEH AND CO. AND HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS vibeh_co@go.com . SO , DO NOT WASTE TIME IN CONTACT HIM AS SOON AS POSSBLE SO THAT HE CAN START OUR JOB.
ALWAYS GET BACK TO ME AS SOON AS YOU CONTACT HIM AND WHEN HE REPLY ALSO.
WAITING FOR YOUR URGENT RESPONSE.
YOUR HEART,
MOHAMMED. (no mention of the new picture.)
Hi Mohammed, great news and glad to hear you have an honest working attorney or so we'll see.
I will contact him soon my love and trust me I will find out if he's honest and if he is not we will fire him and get another. That's how we do it in America. Americans hate laziness. It's better to just kill lazy people as they breed and create other lazy people.
Thinking of us,
Suzie (got mike?)
DEAR SUSIE MY HEART,
YOU ARE SO CAPTIVATING IN THIS YOUR LAST PICTURE TO ME THAN THE FIRST ONE. YOU LOOK FAR MORE BEAUTIFUL IN THIS YOUR LAST PICTURE TO ME THAN THE FIRST ONE YOU GAVE TO ME. YOU ALSO LOOK MORE YOUNGER AND COOL IN THIS YOUR LAST PICTURE TO ME. MY HEART, I WILL CONTINUE LOVING YOU.
THE MALARIA IS STILL DISTURBING ME BUT I AM STILL TAKING DRUGS TO CONTROL IT.
SO MY HEART YOU MEANT YOU HAVE CONTACTED THE ATTORNEY AND HE DOES NOT WANT TO REPLY YOU? BECAUSE THAT ATTORNEY IS A YOUNG MAN AND VERY HARD WORKING. WELL, WHICH MEANS I WILL GET TO HIM ON YOUR BEHALF. LET ME SEE WHAT HE IS GOING TO SAY AND I WILL ALSO ASK HIM WHY HE HAS NOT REPLIED YOUR MAIL TO HIM?
SWEET HEART, IT HAS BEEN MY PLEASURE TO MAKE MY PICTURE AVAILABLE TO YOU AND I AM GOING TO SEND ONE OF MY PICTURES TO YOU. THE ONLY PROBLEM I HAVE NOW IS MY SCANNING MACHINE IS BAD BECAUSE IT IS OLD BUT I WILL TRY TO PUT IT IN ORDER AND SCAN MY PICTURE TO MAKE SURE THAT I SEND MY PICTURE TO YOU.
WAITING FOR YOUR URGENT RESPONSE.
YOUR HEART,
MOHAMMED(got mike?)
NOTE: HOW ABOUT YOUR OWN HEALTH?
DEAR SUSIE MY HEART,
I AM YET TO HEAR FROM YOU FOR SOME TIME NOW AND I HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO RERACH YOU OR MAIL YOU FOR SOME DAYS NOW BECAUSE THE MALARIA SICKNESS REALLY GOT ME DOWN BUT I AM JUST GETTING BACK . HOW ABOUT YOUR HEALTH?
PLEASE, MY HEART I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU BEFORE I PROCEED. AND HOW DID YOU SPEND YOUR CHRISTMAS? I WISH YOU THE GOOD BLESSNGS THAT IS ASSOCIATED WITH CHRISTMAS SEASONS.
WAITING FOR YOUR URGENT RESPONSE.
YOUR HEALTH, (The stupid ass meant to write YOUR HEART)
MOHAMMED(got mike?)
(Susie gets bitchy.)
Mohamed,
I'm getting tired of your attorney's. It is obvious you don't have the mental capacity to handle a deal like this and perhaps you should allow me whom is college educated and run a major sex toy operation look for an attorney in that hell whole country you call Nigeria. I do have a few business contacts there who can find an attorney.
And on a un-bussines deal how are you my little eunuch? Flying to California today.
Yours,
Suzie (got mike?)
PS you still owe me a photo.
DEAR SUSIE MY HEART,
DO NOT GET ANNOYED WITH ME BECAUSE I HAVE NOT BEEN WELL FOR SOME TIME NOW AND YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT. YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT LIFE COMES FIRST BEFORE ANY OTHER THING AND THAT IS WHY WHEN YOU WERE NOT WELL , I REALLY FELT IT SO MUCH AND PUT YOU IN MY PRAYERS SO THAT YOU WILL BE HEALED AND I THANK GOD THAT YOU WERE HEALED AT THE END . BUT I AM SUPRISE THAT YOU DID NOT EVEN CARE TO KNOW HOW I AM FEELING WITH THE MALARIA ILLNESS I HAD. BUT AMONG ALL , I LOVE YOU AND CARE FOR YOU , I WILL CONTINUE LOVING YOU TILL I DEPART THIS WORLD. LET ME TELL YOU MY HEART, MY HAPPIEST MOMENT WILL BE THE DAY I WILL MEET YOU FACE TO FACE AFTER WE MUST HAVE REALISED THIS FUND.
WORK HAS STARTED HERE IN MY COUNTRY AFTER THE CHRISTMAS VACATION. I WILL MAKE SURE THAT I CONTACT THE ATTORNEY ON YOUR BEHALF BEFORE THE END OF TODAY. TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH, AND YOU KNOW THAT I FIND IT VERY DIFFICULT TO LIE, I HAVE NOT CONTACTED THE ATTORNEY SINCE THEN BECAUSE OF MY ILL HEALTH, BUT I AM WELL NOW. I WILL GET BACK TO YOU AS SOON AS I CONTACTED THE ATTORNEY. AND I WANT US TO MAKE SURE THAT , THIS FUND IS TRANSFERED TO YOU BEFORE THE END THIS WEEK.
MY SWEET HEATH, HOW DID YOU CELEBRATE YOUR CHRISTMAS? YOU CELEBRATED IT WITH OUT ME.
WAITING FOR YOUR URGENT RESPONSE.
YOUR HEART,
MOHAMMED(got mike?).
(For some reason when these scammers send an email it will sometimes duplicate itself and you get five or six in your inbox and its the same message. I thought what a great idea so I sent the response to Mohamed and duplicated it 50 times.)
(Susie gives Mohammed an ultimatium 50 times)
Mohamed, you have until Wednesday. If you don't have the mental capacity to do something as simple as hire a fucking attorney who has a brain I don't want to have such a stupid man in my life.
Now get this done my little eunuch or we're through.
Suzie
DEAR MY HEART,
I DO NOT LIKE THE WAY YOU ARE TALKING TO ME THIS DAYS. YOU ARE TALKING TO ME AS IF I AM NOBODY AND NOTHING, WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO ME LIKE THAT? HAVE I IN ANY WAY OFFENDED YOU?
WELL, I HAVE CONTACTED THE ATTORNEY AND HE AGREED TO DO THE WORK ON YOUR BEHALF. AND I ASKED HIM WETHER HE HAS NOT HEARD FROM YOU FOR THE FIRST TIME , HE SAID THAT HE HAS NOT RECEIVED ANY MAIL OR CALL FROM YOU. WHICH MEANS YOUR MAILS TO HIM HAS NOT BEEN GOING.
HE PROMISED GETTING BACK TO YOU BY TOMORROW BEFORE HE HE STARTS THE JOB..
MY HEART, I AM FEELING MAKING LOVE WITH YOU. DO YOU FEEL ME AT ALL?
WAITING FOR YOUR URGENT RESPONSE.
YOUR LOVE,
MOHAMMED(got mike?).
NOTE: YOU DID NOT INCLUDE OUR CODE IN YOUR MAIL TO ME, DID YOU FORGET IT?. (Ah fuck your code)
Mohamed,
I'm getting the feeling that you can't close a deal and you're just leading me on and I am vulnerable since my divorice. I have asked you repeatdly for you to send me a picture and you ignore me. Please send me a picture with our code (got mike?) on it. Thus I will no it is you and not an imposter. Please do this simple little task immediately. Do not delay or hesitate or I will simply go away. I need to be able to trust you at this time in my life.
The attorney's in Nigeria are goof's and you should know this by now. They don't email like you say they do, they don't contact me like you say they do and I bet they are lousy lovers as well. Have I ever told you how much I hate attorney's?
I will give you until Thursday to send me a picture with our secret code and if I don't get it by then please don't email me ever again.
I'll await to hear from your stupid attorney which I know he won't email me and I await the most recent photo of you with our code (got mike?).
My love, I am sorry if I sound a bit harsh but I'm on my period so don't fuck around with me.
Your heart,
Suzie
DEAR SUSIE MY HEART,
I AM NOT FUCKING YOU AROUND AT ALL. HOW CAN FUCK YOU AROUND? I WILL ONLY MAKE A VERY SOLID LOVE WITH YOU (LOL!) BECAUSE I LOVE YOU AND NOT FUCKING YOU AROUND.
HAVE YOU HEARD FROM THE ATTORNEY?
I WILL SEND THE MY PICTURE WITH CODE TO YOU BEFORE THE THURSDAY YOU SAID.
WAITING FOR YOUR URGENT RESPONSE.
YOUR LOVE,
MOHAMMED(got mike?)
Dear Mohamed,
Thanks for the kind words and I look forward to Thursday when I finally get to see your face. I think seeing your face my calm me down a bit. And don't forget our code so I know it is you----got mike?
Nothing from the attorney yet, but I don't really expect anything from them. Do you think they'll actually email me? Mohamed, we've been through this a few times already remember? I'll wait but only for you.
You know how I hate those sleezy bastards. They fucked me good in my divorice. I should have gotten 10 million instead of 8 and my ex-husband should be paying me $20,000 a month instead of $9,000. Oh well, grumble, grumble. Flying back to Jamica on Saturday if the terror alert color gets lowered. It is at orange right now so you have to be a thrill seeker or have a serious death wish to fly right now.
I look forward to seeing you on Thursday.
Your heart,
Suzie
DEAR SUSIE MY HEART,
I HATE THE ATTONEIES TOO BUT WE CAN NOT DO WITHOUT THEM.
MY HEART I CALLED THE ATTORNEY THIS EVENING AND HE TOLD ME THAT HE HAD REPLIED MAILED YOU. WHAT IS HAPPENING? AND YOU ARE TELLING ME NOW THAT YOU HAVE NOT HEARD FROM HIM. I WILL BE GOING BACK TO HIS OFFICE BY TOMORROW.
I AM NOT HAPPY AT ALL THAT YOU HAVE NOT HEARD FROM THE ATTORNEY. THIS FUND IS BEEN DELAYED.
I AM THINKING THAT HIS MAIL TO YOU MAY BE ON THE WAY. GET BACK TO ME AS SOON AS YOU RECEIVE HIS MAIL.
YOUR HEART,
MOHAMMED(got mike?).
NOTE: SUSIE MY HEAT, I WANT YOU TO SEND ME MONEY TO ENABLE ME TO BUY NEW SCANNER TO ENABLE ME TO SCAN MY PICTURE WITH OUR CODE TO YOU BECAUSE MY SCANNER IS TOO OLD AND BAD .
(Mohammed asks Susie for money to buy a new scanner. Want to guess how much a scanner costs in Nigeria.)
Mohamed,
No word from your attorney yet as if there ever will be. Yes do scan a picture with our code, but please do it before Thursday as you promised. And I believe you are a man of your word and I am a woman of my word and if I don't receive it by Thursday I'll terminate our love affair as well as any business arrangements.
Have a great day my love.
Your heart,
Susie (got mike?)
(Susie ignores Mohammed’s plea for money. What a mean cruel bitch.)
DEAR SUSIE MY HEART,
I WENT TO THE ATTORNEY TODAY AND ASKED HIM WHY HE HAS NOT REACHED YOU AND HE SAID THAT HE HAD SENT MAIL TO YOU BUT HE IS YET TO HEAR FROM YOU. HE ASKED ME TO STAY TOGETHER WITH HIM SO THAT HE COULD SEND MAIL TO YOU. SO, I WAS THERE WATCHING HIM WHEN HE SEND ANOTHER MAIL TO YOU. HAVE YOU NOT RECEIVED THE MAIL HE SENT TO YOU?
MY HAERT I TOLD YOU TO SEND ONLY $700 TO ME TO ENABLE ME TO BUY SCANNER SO THAT I WILL BE ABLE TO SEND MY PICTURE TO YOU BUT YOU DID NOT SAY ANY THING ABOUT THAT. DO YOU REALLY LOVE ME? BECAUSE IT SEEMS THAT MY OWN LOVE TO YOU IS HIGHER THAN THE ONE YOU HAVE FOR ME.
WAITING FOR YOUR URGENT RESPONSE.
YOUR HEART,
MOHAMMED(got mike?)
(Whoa...$700.00 fucking dollars for a scanner. What a scammer. This may send Susie in a whole new bitch world or will it?
(Susie fearing Mohammed is trying to weasel out of sending a photo kicks him square in the balls. What a heartless whore.)
Mohamed,
It is you who has ignored my request for a picture. You then agreed and suddenly your scanner doesn't work. Scanners are easily accessible as I used one in Jamica to send photo's home so I know that even in a backwards country like Nigeria has scanners available.
If you weren't going to send me a picture with our code you should have just told me. However I will still give you until Thursday, tomorrow for the picture. I am a woman of my word and if I don't receive it tomorrow there will be no more communication. Our special relationship will be over.
You pick attorney's like I pick husbands. If one should email me from Nigeria I will then believe in miracles.
My love, do not doubt me, nor deny me. I hold my lovers accountable and if they say they will do something for me I expect them to do it. I expect to receive your lovely photo with our code tomorrow.
Your heart,
Suzie
(Mohammed’s attorney sends Susie an email. It’s the third email she has received from the attorney. The mean cruel bitch has been ignoring him.)
ATTN:SUSIE CHAPSTICK,
We have earlier sent an email to you , informing you that we have accepted doing the job of transfering your fund to you which is now with the orient bank plc Nigeria. The manager of orient bank has notified us about you .
Endeovour to send your account particulars to us where your fund will be paid into after our enquiries at the orient bank.
We have not heard from you that is why we have started you job.
Regards,
Barr. Vincent Ibeh.
Dear Sir,
I know nothing of which you speak of. If you know anything of the details of my affairs in Nigeria I shall require that you send me a recent photo of yourself holding a sign with a secret code. Only I and the other party know the code. He shall tell you and then you will send a photo. If you DON"T do this or KNOW the secret code I shall know that you are not the business associate I am waiting for.
Regards,
Suzie
(Susie ain’t buying it. What an untrusting bitch. She emails Mohammed to inform him that the attorney contacted her.)
Mohamed, I think your attorney emailed me and you let me deal with these assholes. I requested that he send a recent photo with our code attached to it. When he contacts you please provide him with the code and inform him that I won't take any bullshit so he better do as we request or we will fire his black ass immediately.
Honey, please allow me to be strict with these people as it is the only rule of law they know. I've been through a lot of attorney's and this guy comes across like a real dumbfuck. He can't spell, his english is awful and he claims to have worked with Americans--BULLSHIT. Americans would never work with someone so stupid as to not even be able to spell. However if he can pass this simple task which is the equal to tying ones shoe we will go with him to get through this painful process and resume our possible doubtful relationship.
Your heart,
Suzie
