| Goth Wanker FAQ |
| Frequently asked questions, and some just plain ole' wierd questions, answered by, Captain of the Ship, Gutter |
| Q: What the hell is a twinkie? A: A twinkie is any Goth Wanker under the age of 16. Or a Goth Wanker who I think would be insulted if I said they were under 16. Or a Goth Wanker who acts as if they were under 16. |
| Q:Why do you do this, don't you think it's mean? A:I do this because I hate Marilyn Manson. I do this because their are some very silly people out there who run around with fake fangs out of a cereal box screaming "I'M GOOOOOOTH!". No, I am not mean. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind, no? Besides, the only people who ask this sort of question are Goth Wankers, everyone else sees the importance and value of it. But most importantly, I do this because I am bored and have an inflammed ego. |
| Q: Is "oingo boingo" goth? A:I thought this was a delightfully weird and amusing question. My feelings on the matter are , "no". |
| Q: Why do you hate MM so much? A: Because he is the most annoying piece of shit I have ever seen. In fact, shit has more entertainment value, seeing as it could be hurled at MM. So why does everyone like MM so much? |
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| Q: What makes you so fucking goth? A: Because I said so. What a stupid question. Let me guess, you still live at home with your parents and wear capes your mother made you for Halloween costumes when you where 12. Furthermore, I am not aiding the publics already misled views on the gothic subculture. |
| Q: What do you look like? A: I am a divine vision of otherworldly beauty that will haunt all your miserable days.( That was the goth wanker answer). For everyone else, I have blue-black hair cut on an angle so that it falls longer in the front, and thick baby bangs. I have green eyes, fair skin and I stand about 5'5". For those interested, The Genious Lesson is about 5'4", tannish skin, blue-grey eyes and an ever changing hair colour. |
| Q: Are you aware of how cheesy this site is? A: No, I'm not. But thank you for informing me, I had better get on it right now. OF course it's cheesy you twinkie, that's kind of the point. How could it be anything else when it's filled with wankers? |
| Q: I bet you're a 15 year old kid confused of his sexuality and taking it out on goths because they don't... A: Blah blah blah. This is obviously the product of some silly wanker who thinks it's a clever insult to say someone is confused in their sexuality. Nice one, really. Actually, I am a 19 year old female, but if you could read you would know that. I bet you think you're gothic, and feel you need to stand up for your fellow "goths". Ha. If you take offense to this, you are obviously a wank, and so go back to your Marilyn Manson CD's. As for the "taking it out on goths", the only goths listed on this site are : myself, the genious lesson, Nominaters, and a some of the good folks who haved signed the guestbook. And I certainly am not taking anything out on any of them, am I? I only judge the wankers, like you. |
| Q: What's the deal with calling SlipKnot wankers? A: They are. |
| We seem to be getting a lot of e-mail concerning the guestbook questions. Well ask no more (please): Yes, the questions concerning Bunnicula, Count Chocula and "who's the gothest of them all" are jokes. Don't be so stupid people.Although in the study of goth wankers, they prove very useful. By the way, I am the gothest of them all. |
| Q: Are you/do you know Straylight? A: Up until today, when I bothered to ask someone, I had no idea who Straylight was (But it turns out that I shoudl have known as I was a fan of his "Goth Goose of the Week" website". So no, myself and anyone else on this website is not Straylight, and no one here personally knows the fellow. |
| Send your questions to: goth_wanker@hotmail.com |