Well beat me with a snow shovel and call me Sally! Never in my life have I seen anyone so deserving of the title "goth wanker". I first became aware of Dork Farter Owanky while looking for prime wank on the net. He has a shitty little website called " The Okami Network ". How creative. Much like the stupid name he has bequethed apon himself (for all you wankers out there, that was sarcasm.). His website, has it's usual slew of wanker warnings, all in attempt of sounding unusual, unique and profound. Well Dork Owanky, I find you to be unusually lame, uniquely stupid and profoundly inbred.
Wanks ahoy! What is this I spy? No! Yes! Owanky is another one of those brilliant shites who spell "vampire" like "vampyre". So I click "vampyre" and it informs me, among other things, that there are many kinds of "vampyres". Really? Gee, you stupid fuck, I, like many other educated people, was under the impression that there was in fact no such thing! Thanks for setting me straight! God has smiled apon me today! Oh wait, Owanky is one of those folks who worship Satan. I'm sorry man, but not as sorry looking as your face.
Anyhow, now, I am looking at the "about DFO" section. Hmm. It says his hair color is " brown, or black, or blonde..." What? don't you know? Damn, this moron is from Canada. You, Dork Farter Owanky, bring shame to us all. He says he has been stereotyped as "goth" (don't you fucking wish) "banger" (Gosh, that's something I would admit to.) "freak" (more like moronic wanker deluxe.) among other things. Hahahahahahahahahahaha! Look at this, Owanky's spirit guides include "wolf/coyote/squirrel". Well, I have seen some stupid shit, but this about tops it. They obviously haven't been doing a very good job, or I wouldn't be laughing my ass off like this. Perhaps you should trade them in for a pony or something. Oh my, squirrel! Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Oh, okay, I can't look at this anymore, it hurts my brain. I feel faint. I may vomit.
In conclusion, Dorky Owanky here is a wanker with a lot of time on his hands. A fact proven by the his stated status of "trapped (clever,clever)/single (I wonder why?)/underpaid (not suprising.)" My guestbook has been signed by Owanky, daring me to put him up as Goth Wanker. Well, here you are. And seeing how this is undoubtably the best thing to ever happen to you, I expect a thank-you letter to arrive promptly. |
