Well, what the fuck do we have here? It is beyond my understandiing as to why people take such stupid pictures of themselves. I mean, does this stupid fuck really think this looks cool? I mean, I can understand that sometimes bad pictures get taken, but you don't put them up on the internet for people to see. You burn them, you moron. Blah. The wonders never cease, do they?
So here we go on our little wanker journey: The first link I use goes to dear Mikey-boys online photo album. Photo album? More like "self-indulgant attempt to prove how gothic and hardcore I am, but failing miserably" album. Yes kids, there are 3 pages of Mikey-boy in various "gothic" poses. It's so gothic, I need to throw up. Oh look, I'm so gothic I smoke! Oh look, I'm so gothic I wear leather gloves! Oh look, I'm so gothic I dance around like there's a rabid dog in my pants while I do lame impressions of Batman! Dance Batman, dance!
Well, enough of that shite. Let's go to Captain Batman's actual website. The first thing I spy is this " Suffer Deeper Shallower Interrupt" What? What the fuck is that suppose to mean? How about this instead? "Stupid Bastard Fuck Yourself"? At least that makes sense.Welly-well well... this fucking idiot *choking back laughter* is... *gasping for air* a gothic musician! Oh gothic gothic! He even has his own CD! Wow, my mistake Batman! You must be gothic! Especially with a CD title of "N of Me" ! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! That is just so fucking gothic. I haven't heard of a CD title so stupid since "holywood". Oh fuck me! Hahahahahahahaha! Oh shit...oh shit, look at these song titles: "Faith will be dead any day now" Oh my! What a profound and soul wrenching statement. "Use the user", (how about use some soap?) this is" about screwing those that screw you".Yeah well, I don't think you need to worry about getting screwed..."Suck" (my ass, you wanker) he says this is "sort of along the lines of NIN closer, this is a rather naughty catchy song" I learned a long time ago to stay away from boys who compare themselves to Trent Reznor. It means they have small dicks..."Razor Blades" this is "The story of a young boy raised on a diet of enriched uranium and glass shards" Wowwy! That is so fucking clever, I might just go get some razor blades and kill myself. This song is obviously about Mikey-boy and his alienation from society and how no one understands him blah blah blah and all that very gothic crap. "God Fixed" Funny how so many goth wankers have issues with god. Is it because he made you ugly and stupid Mikey-boy? Cause let me inform you, you have done this to yourself, and if there's a god, he is just as disgusted with you as I am. "Deeper inside you" ask me if I care? "No way out but down" Um, go fuck yourself? "Crazed" Yes, you are. And not in that cool gothic way.(sarcasm)."The great mistake" You being born you stupid fuck. Posting your pics on the internet. Writtng crappy "gothic" music. blah blah blah. "Mrs. Whore" Your mother? No. I won't insult her. Living with you as her son is punishment enough for having brought you into the world. There are many other songs here, but I just don't give a fuck.
Oh look, we can buy Captain Batman's CD here! Why the hell are you trying to sell shit that you couldn't possibly give away? But wait...you can get these songs here free to download. This begs a greater question: If anyone is stupid enough to like your music, what makes you think they are stupid enough to buy it when they can get it for free? Damn it, you are such a fucking waste of space.
Hmm. Let's take a peek at this: "info". "description: industrial techno" No, I think you mean: fucking crap."musical influences: NIN" but of fucking course, you cunty-bawed fucker. "similar artist (as in similar to himself): NIN, Marilyn fucking Manson, Tool" Yes, what is a Goth Wanker without MM? Fuck you. You think you are similar to Tool? Well, it's to my delight to inform you that I have unfortunetly listened to your garbage and can say with great detail that you are about as close to Tool as Britney Spears is to Ian Curtis. As in one is complete and utter crap, and one is not.
I'm tired of this shite. I'm closing the window. |
