Please, whatever goth-god is out there, please deliver me from this shite! This wanker is one of my favorite kinds: The kind who think they are a "vampire" (oooh, the gothic chills!)
Anyhow, the index informs me that this site started with a "sudden and quite frightening realization" What, that you're a complete and utter head-case? Because that's what I just realized! Oh wait, it was that she is, of course, a vampire. And guess who I am? Buffy the Vampire Slayer! Watch out vampo-wank, I coming to get you! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah! (oh the gothic terror!!).
Well beat me with a shovel and call me Josie! "This site strives to explain the realities (hahahahahahahahahahaahaha!) of vampires" Oh shit, oh shit, I just will never get over this kind of schlock. I better go look at the rest of the site before I pass out. Oh SHIT! Is this for real? Against my better judgment, I will now click "enter".
"Real vampires"? Get off the crack. Actually, get on the crack, it just might heighten your sense of reality. You certainly need something to get you out of vampo-land. Oh look what I have to choose from!: "vampire FAQ", Information for "seekers" (what? ooooh, that's what you call people who want to become a vampire. Know what I call them? Stupid shits.), "Preventing Tragedy: A serious look st the dangers of trying to contact or meet real vampires" (well fuck me, a serious look? I am seriously laughing my ass off, if that's what you mean...), and lots of other various crap about "turning". Damn, now this is funny: "Alone: A personal fight with Hunger and the Beast. Important and personal view of what it's really like" What is what like? What it's like to be an inbred pillow biter and all around classic moron? I will definetly go look into this. Oh no, this "Alone" crap starts like this " it scares me sometimes...this force inside me..." fuck you, I'm not reading anymore of your silly crap! Do you know what scares me? That fact that you expect anyone to believe you self-indulgent, moronic, vampo-shit ramble!
Oh please, look at this:" The Vampire Guides" need I say more? Sure, why not? "Vampire 101 (oh, for fucks sakes...) The Introduction to vampires" Actually, no, no more of these guides other to say that they include " Mythes vs. Realities" (This is not the place where I would come to hear about realities, kids...), "A look at fakes" (she certainly would know about that.), and "Surviving In The Day" (There should be some kind of guide for surviving with dumb-ass vampo-wanks hopping about.).
Unless you want ot hear more drivel about "donors" and "awakening" or perhaps the amazing and shocking differences between "psyhic" and "blood" vampires (bet you didn't know there were two kinds of vampo-wanks! Me either!), then I'll be off. Thank goodness. Curse the bastard who invented those vampire role playing games, this is all your fault! |
