Well, well. What do we have here? Why yes, Goth Wanker in it's prime! Nice jacket sweetheart, looks like something the garbage man wears on rainy days. Wearing oversized garbage bags is very gothic, c'est non?
Dear Ash's website is pretty lame. Her info states that her sex is " female goth punk". Excuse me while I vomit. Why the hell do all you little wankers feel the need to make such obscene claims (which make absolutely no sense) in a lame-ass attempt to prove your (lack off) coolness? "Goth punk"? What are you kiddies on? Two comepletely different things you misguided little fool.
She says her age is " whatever you want it to be, 13, 18" Well, you certainly are a clever one, aren't you? I would estimate that you are 12, because most of the 13 year olds I've come into contact with are much smarter, and have a more of a developed sense of reality (As in they realize garbage man jackets do not make you gothic.).
Ash wanker lists a few of her favorite bands on her site. They include (and boy, are they gothic!):
" Linkin Park, Techno Rave (yes folks, she's another one of those morons who think rave music is gothic. My soul hurts.), Alycia Keys (it don't get more gothic than that, yeh ha!), Gorillaz (kill me now, please...), Korn (oh shit), and Limp fucking Bizkit.". Do you know what this tells me, dear ,sweet and tender Ash, not only are you a moronic test tube baby, but you have some of the shittiest taste in music I have come across in a very long time. In fact, I pity you. Imagine, walking around, thinking you're all hot shit and everyone is just laughing and laughing at how pathetic you are. Maybe we should all set up some kind of fund to help wankers like you. We could call it "The help stupid misguided wankers who wear garbage man jackets and think they are gothic fund."
Listen twinkie, and this is for your own good: go home and play with your barbies until you are old enough to walk across the street by yourself. And then maybe, (unless you're still lame at that point, which sadly, you probably will be) try the goth thing if you must. But if you have any brains in that oversized pumpkin head of yours, please stop with the goth shit, you are not fooling anyone.
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