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Z Lequidre and the Amazing Grendel Conspiracy

By Allain Atienza

Theodora's apartment was an impressive two story deal on Murray Street downtown. It was ridiculously spacious for a city apartment. "I had to buy the bottom floor too, and get stairs put in" she told Zorikh when he stared at the darkly polished cherry banister. The downstairs was decorated perfectly, Zorikh thought. It was the way he would've decked out his place if it were ten times bigger and he had an endless supply of cash. Behind a rather minimalist entertainment center that housed a large television, hung bright cloths decorated in needlework, depicting men on horseback or hunting with bow and spear, or lovers meeting in secret places. A large round shield was displayed on the wall opposite, surrounded with several swords of different styles and make. Next to the archway that led to the kitchen, a black boar stood proudly on a white banner. The place smelled somewhat like a museum.

Zorikh heaped praise on everything he could see and Theodora thanked him. When he asked to use the restroom, she pointed him down a hallway, second door to the left. Like the salon, the hallway was livened by colorful hangings, but Zorikh noticed none of these. What had caught his eye this time were the several shelves filled with books. There were new books, old books, books with no spine- just parchments tied together. There were rolls of old yellow vellum. There were even thin boards of wood painted with words and a slab or two of clay covered with cuneiform. Zorikh could only whistle to himself, catalog his questions before they drowned him, and go to the bathroom.

He returned to find Theodora seated on her sofa watching Balliol on TV. The Face on screen no longer seemed to surprise him. After a jump to seventeenth century America, a foot chase through the streets of Manhattan, a fight in Central Park and watching someone stoically drink Papaya King's Pina Colada, the familiar pale visage was a rather comforting sight. "Ah, Old Toecutter!" Zorikh greeted him.

Balliol shifted his gaze from Theodora to Zorikh. "Hmmm. Yes...Ms Hayes has informed me all about your unfortunate nom de jest for me. I do hope you've got it all out of your system, yes?"

"Sorry" Zorikh said.

"Not to worry Mr. Lequidre. Actually, I must take at least part of the blame, not having introduced myself properly. My name is Balliol. Please no questions about the Scottish throne, we do have work to do." Zorikh closed his mouth, his question unasked. Balliol looked at the both of them and studied their bruised face. "You do look worse for wear, don't you?"

Theodora leaned forward, her fingertips pressed together. "Digo's Rifted. Has he been tracked?"

"He's been tracked as far as location" Balliol answered "but not time. I'm afraid by now, his tracks in the rift my well be covered. Were you able to get any of his items Theodora?"

Theodora sank back into the sofa. "No sir. He proved to be more difficult to deal with than I anticipated."

"I have this." Zorikh said hopefully. They both looked at him, who stood by the sofa holding up the small gold medallion. "I figure I must've gotten this while we were wrestling around. Technically while he was beating the crap out of me, but who's to say I didn't get the better of him since I came away with his...ah..." he read the inscription "Van Halen 1984 Tour medallion. Hmmm. David Lee Roth's last tour."

"Good job Zorikh!" Theodora leapt to her feet. "It looks like we're back in business sir!"

"Good man!" Balliol said. "Well Theodora, it seems you're right. Carry on, and keep me posted." He vanished in a puff of static.

Zorikh looked to the screen, now playing the Home Shopping Channel (Diamelle encrusted KISS figures $59.99 each). "I'm guessing you'll fill me in as we go along."

Theodora nudged him towards the stairs. "Right you are!"

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RELATED LINKS
Some Medieval Tapestries
Tapestry Guilds
Tapestry reproductions

My List of Stage Combat Sword Merchants
My List of historical reproduction sword Merchants (Coming Soon)
My List of Merchants who sell Shields, both for Decoration and Practical Use (Coming Soon)
Anglo-Saxon, Viking, and Norman Shields
Boar

The Boar in Art History
Celtic Wild Boar Hunting

The Cuneiform Digital Library Initiative

Van Halen
Unofficial David Lee Roth Website, with the Complete Adventures of Diamond Dave

Home Shopping Channel
The Shopping Channel.com
The Home Shopping Network
Home shopping network marketing business opportunity
Kiss Psycho Circus Action Figures

Note: These links are for the edification and entertainment of our audience. No endorsement of any product, service, lifestyle, religion, or political agenda is implied, intended or should be inferred.

(Links coming soon)

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