Vicky:Man that took way to long to complete!

Shalon: What was that 8 months?

Vicky: Try a year.

Shalon: OI! That's embarrassing

Vicky: But its done, finally

Shalon: Our apologizes to the Lorra-san for taking so long.

Vicky: Heh, if it wasn't for her constant reminders I think it would have taken us more like 2 years.

Shalon: I truly hope not!

Episode 10: Game Show, Guns, and Celebrities

The ASV gang are in the NBC studios backstage, waiting to appear on the cool new game show, The Weakest Link.

Duo: I can't believe we're actually here.
Shalon: Neither can I. This is going to be fun!
Wufei: Hnm...*crosses his arms*
Vicky: Hey Quatre, there is suppose to be 8 players but there is only 7 of us... who’s the 8th?
Quatre: I don't know. I guess we will find out soon enough.

The door to the dressing room suddenly opens. A girl enters and promptly begins to talk

Girl: Hello I'm Lorra san. I'm going to be on Weakest Link! Are you my make up and hair crew? I’m So excited to be here and this is so great and I get to meet so many cool people like you Quatre I have heard so much about you it is such a pleasure....
Vicky: Hello Lorra! I'm...
Lorra: Oh My God! Is that Duo? DUO MAXWELL!

Duo lets out nervous laughter.
Lorra pushes her way through the group, and glomps Duo.

Duo: Ack!!
Shalon: Hey! Just who do you think you are? You can't just go around glomping people like that.

Russell Crowe walks by and Vicky immediately squeals and glomps him.

Shalon: *eye twitch*
Quatre: Umm...what’s Russell Crowe doing at NBC?
Vicky: Who cares!!!
Heero: What’s he got that’s so special? I bet he can't even pilot a Gundam.
Duo: What do you care Heero?
Heero: Hn.
Russell Crowe: Umm...I'm afraid I have to be going now...*disengages Vicky from him and runs as fast as he can down the hall*
Vicky: W-wait wait wait!!!
Shalon: *pats Vicky on the back.* It's for the best. I think you made Heero jealous.
Vicky: *looks thoughtful* Oh. *happily glomps Heero*
Duo: Hahaha!!
Heero: Hn.

Shalon yanks Duo's braid.

Shalon: That's enough, Duo. You promised that you would behave.
Tech Crew: 5 Minutes!!!
Lorra: Oooo! So exciting. I think I have butterflies flying around in my stomach I am just so nervous going out in front of a TV and all.
Vicky: Ooo yayness!!! I'm so excited to meet Anne!!
Duo: What? Anne? *look of shear terror crosses his face*
Shalon: What's wrong Duo? Are you afraid?
Wufei: Now there is a woman to be respected. *looks at Duo* Haha!! Looks like he's going to piss his pants!
Duo: Shut UP! I am not!
Shalon: You would too if you knew what she was like!
Wufei: I fear NO woman!
Duo: You'll fear this one.

Anne walks into the room.

Duo: oh shit oh shit oh shit!
Anne: Stuttering problems little girl? Or is you vocabulary just limited?
Duo: *cringe*
Anne: I am Anne Robinson and I'm the host of the show. I hope you all are ready to be embarrassed and demeaned in front of 2 million or so people.
Tech Guy: Ok boys and girls let’s get a move on.

The Tech Guy leads them to the soundstage. All they can see are the contestant spots and the podium where Anne sets her self up.

Tech Guy: ONE MINUTE!!
Lorra: OOOOOh exciting!
Duo: Ummm I got to go pee? Where is the nearest bathroom?
Shalon: You should have gone before!
Trowa: *Trowa pulls on his braid.* Oh no you don't. You aren't sneaking off anywhere. If the rest of us have to suffer, so do you.
Tech Guy: and we are on in 5, 4, 3...

Everyone runs and gets into their pre-drawn spots
1: Heero
2: Vicky
3: Trowa
4: Duo
5: Shalon
6: Quatre
7: Lorra san
8: Wufei

Tech Guy: Aaannnd were ON!
Anne: Hello, and welcome to the Weakest Link. Now without further adieu let’s get started! Let's play the "Weakest Link." Start the clock.
Anne: Heero, What is Relena's brother's name?
Heero: *smirks at how easy it is* Zechs.
Anne: That is incorrect. Milliardo Peacecraft is the correct answer.
Heero: *blanches* WHAT?
Duo: She asked for his name dumbass, not his alias.
Anne: *shoots him a glance* I wouldn't talk, your turn is coming up little girl
Duo: Eep!
Anne: Vicky....
Vicky: *lets out a little squeak* Yes?
Anne: I hope that’s not your normal voice! You sound like a stock pig. In what episode does Duo have a band-aid on his nose? And it's not very flattering either, I might add.
Duo: HEY! You just had to bring that up didn't you?!!!
Vicky: Umm umm...Bank!
Shalon: Psst Vix, you can't bank!
Anne: You don't have any money to bank, or did you skip math class in grade school?
Vicky: Eep! How did you know that? Umm...I mean...drat.
Anne: Moving on. Trowa! What sport were Dorothy and Quatre playing in Episode 31?
Trowa: Fencing.
Anne: Very good. It seems that someone here does have an education.

Anne turns to the next victim...err...contestant

Anne: *smirks* Little Girl....
Duo: *grumble* My name is Duo.
Anne: What was that, little girl?
Duo: Umm...Nothing...Nothing at all.
Vicky: Duo, don't look at her eyes!!
Duo: Shut up your distracting me!
Anne: How was Deathscythe destroyed?
Duo: I know this! I know this!
Anne: Really? Do tell us.
Duo: Well you see it's all Trowa's fault. He was working for Oz and to prove himself he... oh it was horrible!! I saw it all!! *breaks down into tears*
Anne: *looks to the judges* Can we accept that? *judges consent* We'll take that as a correct answer, Mr. Maxwell.
Wufei: Pull yourself together Maxwell! You're on national television!!!
Duo: Oh right. *nervous laughter*
Anne: Shalon....
Shalon: BANK!
Anne: Which one of the Gundam pilots is the oldest?
Shalon: What kind of a question is that? Of course it would be Trowa.
Anne: Correct. Quatre...Who does Relena try to shoot?
Quatre: She tried to shoot Lady Une. Which I personally think was very un-pacifistic of her.
Relena: *from the audience* Shut Up, WINNER!
Heero: What the hell she doing here???
Relena: I'm just here to give you some moral support Heero. *gives a dreamy sigh*
Vicky: Over my dead body!
Relena: I'm sure that could be arranged!
Heero: I thought I had a restraining order against you? You are not to be within 1000 feet of me.
Anne: Are we going to have to remove you from the audience young lady?
Relena: Do you know who I am? I'm the Queen!
Anne: Sounds to me that you are more delusional than anything!
Duo: *Laughs* you’ve got that right!!
Anne: Security...

Two tall buff guys in black shirts come and carry Relena away.

Relena: You can't keep me away from you forever Heero. I'll be BACK!!!
Vicky: God I hope not!
Heero: *looking relieved* You and me both.
Anne: Let’s Move on. Lorra
Lorra: EEEEEE!!! Hi Anne! It's a pleasure. I've been looking forward to this day ever since I got picked to be a contestant.
Anne: Uh huh... I can see you will not be lasting long at this game. Now, which of the Gundam pilots has 29 sisters?
Lorra: EEEEEEEEEE!!! I know this!! Quatre-sama!!
Anne: Correct
Lorra: Can I kiss Duo now?
Shalon: WHAT?
Lorra: *leans over her podium and bats her eyelashes at Duo* Heya hot stuff.
Duo: *stupid grin*
Shalon: Hey! None of that!
Anne: We are moving on now! Wufei...
Wufei: *smirks* Come on Woman give me the best you’ve got!
Anne: What is the model number of Epyon?
Wufei: *jaw drops* WHAT???!!!!
Anne: You heard me.
Wufei: What kind of *bleep* question is that!? *sputters* No living human being would know the answer to that question.
Heero: I know what it is.
Wufei: Shut up Heero.
Anne: You don't know? And you call your self a Gundam Pilot! Next time I recommend that you don't get cocky with me young man. You have lost the money your team mates earned. Sad isn't it?
Duo: MwAHAH!

Lorra shoots a glare at Wufei.

Anne: So this round you managed to collect $200. Pathetic. Now we get to find out who's the rotten tooth that needs to be pulled.

The lights on the stage dim and everyone picks up their pen to start vote off the weakest link.

Announcer: Statistically this round Shalon was the strongest link, answering all her questions correctly and banking the most money for the round. Wufei is the weakest link, loosing the most money in this round. But it’s the votes that count.
Anne: And voting is over. Let's see who is the Weakest Link!
Heero: I say Wufei.
Anne: You two are good friends why would you vote him off?
Heero: Because he's an idiot
Vicky: Wufei.
Trowa: Wufei.
Duo: Wufei.
Shalon: Wufei.
Quare: Wufei.
Lorra: Wufei.
Wufei: Duo.
Anne: Well it looks unanimous. *turns to Duo* Duo! Why Wufei?
Duo: ‘Cause he pulls on my braid all the time! I would pull his pony tail but it’s so greasy and slick I can't get a good grip
Wufei: *growls* Maxwell....

Anne turns to Wufei.

Anne: Well Wufei. The votes are against you. You are the weakest link. Goodbye!
Wufei: Injustice!!
Vicky: *rolls eyes*

Cuts to the interview scene with Wufei...

Wufei: I think I was set up. That wasn't fair voting. Duo had it in for me since the beginning. I'll get him back though...you wait and see!

Cuts back to the stage.

Anne: And now we're on to round two of The Weakest Link! Heero, where did Duo meet Hilde?
Duo: Oh!! I know, I know!
Vicky: It’s not your turn dumb ass! *sticks out tongue at Duo*
Heero: *looks proud* Hn...too easy. L2 of course.
Duo: Crash and burn man!
Vicky: Totally
Anne: That is incorrect.
Duo: Yeah! I met her on the moon! Sheesh , and they call you the Perfect Soldier.
Vicky: But he's perfect in other ways... *grins*
Shalon: *groan* I really didn't need to hear that.
Anne: Right. Let’s carry on...Vicky, Who first piloted Wing Zero?
Vicky: Russell Crowe!
Anne: Excuse me?
Vicky: *high pitch squeals* OMG! It’s Russell Crowe! *runs off set* Oh Russell! My sweet manly gladiator! It’s me!
Russell: *off Stage* Good god woman!

Heero pulls out a gun, audience screams.

Duo: Whoa! Yuy man…what do you think you’re doing buddy?
Heero: No pansy ass gladiator is going to take away my girl!
Quatre: I didn't know they were going out...
Shalon: They're not. I think it's just jealousy.
Anne: Security?
Duo: Gladiator envy!
Shalon: Yep. That's it!
Lorra: Whoa! Check out the action! Duo will protect me. Won't ya Duo? *runs and glomps Duo*
Quatre: I didn't know you two were going out...
Shalon: They're NOT!
Duo: *nervous laughter*
Anne: Possessive.
Shalon: Shut up.
Relena: *from audience* HEERO!!!!
Anne: What the *Bleep*
Duo: How did you get back in here?
Relena: I still love you! Come to meeeeeeeeeee!
Heero: *focused* Must kill Gladiator. Omae o Korosu!! *Runs off after Vicky*
Relena: Oh Heero, don't go! *Runs off after Heero*
Anne: Where the hell is security! You’re all fired after the show!
Trowa: Get together games personified.
Shalon: I think this takes it to a whole new level.
Quatre: We should never be allowed to play games ever again. *thinks* Didn’t we establish that last time?
Duo: Yep.
Shalon: I think we just conveniently forgot.
Anne: *clears her throat* Let’s carry on. With two more out of the running we seem to be moving along quickly. So Trowa, next question: How many eyebrows does Dorothy have?
Duo: *laughs out loud* Good luck!
Trowa: *thinks for a moment* Well one would be tempted to say 4, but the answer is 2.
Duo: She can poke eyes out with those things. They are dangerous!
Dorothy: *from the audience* Just wait till I test it after the show, Maxwell.
Duo: *gulp*
Quatre: How did she get in here?
Shalon: Everyone else appears out of nowhere. Why not her?
Anne: You do have a knack for making enemies, Mr. Maxwell. That is the correct answer, Mr. Barton. Next question *turns to Duo* Ahh, my favorite contestant.
Duo: Do I have to be? I mean there are other really good contestants…Like Lorra here. *points to Lorra who is still clinging to him.*
Anne: I like making you squirm. *snaps fingers* Security! Please escort Miss. Lorra back to her place.

Two butch security guys come and take Lorra back to her podium.

Lorra: I won't be far Duo!
Duo: eee
Anne: Your question is…what is the square root of 5879?
Lorra: That doesn’t fit...
Duo: Is that legal? *looks at the judges* I thought this was a Gundam Wing special program?
Anne: Oh it's special...a special question for you little girl. *smiles broadly*

Judges shrug and allow the question.

Duo: *mumbles* I don't think she's human...
Anne: What was that???
Duo: Ermm...nothing, nothing. Heh, heh.
Anne: You're answer, Little Girl?
Duo: Damnit! Math was never my strong suit....Okay...umm....taking my best guess here…umm…2?
Trowa: NO! No you stupid, stupid idiot! The answer is 76.67!! Any fool would know that! I don't see what the point of playing this game is if there is no chance any of us will win. I’m surrounded by imbeciles. *growls* I can't work with these people anymore. *stomps off stage*

Every one looks at Trowa in surprise

Shalon: Ooookay. I think he's finally lost it.
Quatre: Oh...poor Trowa. That's really not like him. Do you suppose he's ok? I'd better go make sure. *Quatre runs offstage after Trowa*
Anne: And our cast continues to diminish. I do believe the Crazy house has lost its patients....
Shalon: *sarcastically* Perhaps you should call them up and let them know where they are.
Anne: Oh, good one. Did you think of that yourself?
Shalon: Grrr....
Anne: It looks to be your question now, Smarty Pants. What color car does Dorothy drive?
Dorothy: *from the audience* Just what the hell is your obsession with me???
Duo: A very unhealthy one.
Anne: Quiet from the audience! Don't make me call security.
Dorothy: *Sits back down grumbling*
Anne: Now...your answer?
Shalon: It's a putrid yellow color.
Anne: Correct.
Dorothy: *stands back up* HEY!! I spent a lot of money on that paint job!
Duo: Should have got your money back.
Dorothy: *glares* I’ve still got your number after the show, Maxwell!
Duo: Eep!
Lorra: Hey, no one touches my Duo-o!
Duo: I'm surrounded.
Wufei: *from the audience* Good God, Maxwell. She's making doe eyes all over you. Spare the rest of us and get a room!
Anne: Last warning for the audience. Shut up or else!! Now moving on, Lorra…
Lorra: BANK!
Anne: Why was Treize arrested by the Romefeller Foundation?
Lorra: Oh! Well that's easy to anyone who has seen the episodes like twenty times like I have. I absolutely adore Treize but I adore my Duo'kins much more isn't that right Duo?
Duo: Hide me.
Wufei: *from the audience* Suck it up Maxwell!
Anne: *rubbing her head feeling a headache coming on* And your answer?
Lorra: Well Treize didn't like Romefeller using those mobile doll things which in my opinion don't look anything like dolls but whatever and so Romefeller got all mad and out of joint and had the poor guy arrested for just trying to stand up for what he believes in.
Anne: Well at least one of you is somewhat on top of things. And now...at the end of that round you managed to bank a disappointing $100. Now we find out who goes back to hiding under the collective dunce cap. Players...cast your votes!

Back Stage:
Vicky: Russell! Where are you going?
Russell: Stay away!
Heero: Omae o Korosu

Announcer: Last round, Shalon was statistically the strongest link, but this round Lorra managed to bank the most money and she answered her questions correctly. Duo is statistically the weakest link, but it's the votes that count.
Anne: And voting is over. Let's see the results.
Duo: Shalon.
Shalon: Lorra
Lorra: Shalon.
Anne: Duo? Why Shalon? I thought you would have wanted to vote off your friend Lorra.
Duo: Well see Anne... Lorra is kinda cute...
Shalon: WHAT? *hits duo over the head with the slate* That’s it I’m out of here... *walks off stage*
Lorra: Really Duo? You think I'm cute?
Duo: *blush* Umm..yeah.
Lorra: *glomp*
Wufei: *from the audience* Oh GOD! I'm blind!!
Anne: That’s it! Someone please remove that man from the audience!

Two rather large men take Wufei from the audience and escort him out.

Wufei: Unhand me! Injustice! *voice trails off as he is carried away*
Anne: *raises an eyebrow* All right, let’s carry on. Well it looks like you two are the only two players left. That means you move on to the final round. You are playing for a pitiful $300 dollars. I don't think we've had such a menial total in the history of this game. But here it is, and here is the final round.
Duo: Bring it on!
Anne: All right then. First Question, Duo...
Lorra: Wait! Duo, a kiss for good luck? *Quickly grabs Duo and lays one on him right smack on the lips.*
Anne: *clears her throat* Excuse me.

They keep kissing.

Anne: HEY! This is my show! I demand you stop this act of public indecency right now!
Lorra: *finally coming up for air.* Oh, that was so much better then I thought it would be. What a man! *faints*
Duo: Whoa... I knew I was good, but damn...
Anne: *rubs her temples* Can we please get the paramedics in here? And as much as I hate to admit this...Duo...you win by default.
Duo: SWEET! EAT THAT!
Anne: Every one out...*looks at her producer* We are NEVER having a themed show again! You hear me!

Meanwhile:

Duo gets handed a check and is escorted out side of the studio where the rest of the gang is handcuffed and being pushed into a paddy wagon.

Duo: A game show and prison all in one day! COOL!
Wufei: This is all your fault, Maxwell!
From inside the paddy wagon: ... ouch!... Hey stop pushing... Heero is that your gun?... That was confiscated... OH.... EEEW!
Wufei: Why god why?

Episode 11: Congratulations! This is Your Vacation!