As the battering pattern progresses in an abusive relationship, the degree to which victims are affected by the abuse may increase. The batterers' emotional needs, insecurities, and above all, desire to control may fuel more assaults. The frequency and severity of the violence may tend to get worse, though sometimes in an intermittent and unpredictable manner.
In order to survive, victims develop coping strategies and survival techniques in an attempt to avoid more harm and injury. Many victims resort to acts of appeasement and forgiveness. However, in reality victims are unable to stop the cycle because they do not cause the assaults. Only the batterer has control of his behavior.
In some cases, the phases listed here have been used to describe the abuse. This may be conceptualized by imagining a diminishing circle spiraling downward. As time progresses, the phases are shorter, the violence intensifies, and the episodes of abuse may become more frequent. It should be noted the abuse cycle varies depending upon circumstance and individual. Not everyone experiences these three distinct phases.
Phase One is characterized by emotional abuse and verbal attacks. The victim often uses appeasement and patience as coping strategies. As time progresses, the tension increases and these coping techniques are less successful. At the same time, the verbal assaults may become more hostile and prolonged. Incidents involving minor physical assaults, such as pushing or slapping, may become more frequent. In response, the battered woman detaches herself emotionally and psychologically. She is emotionally exhausted by attempts to restore equilibrium to the relationship. The batterer, sensing her retreat, is more controlling and possessive. The victim's every move can be misinterpreted by the batterer.
* Stress builds during this stage
* Communication breaks down
* Victim senses growing danger, tries to avoid, abuse
* "Minor" violence/abuse occurs
* Incidents occur more often
* Intensity increases
* Batterer denies, minimizes, blames external factors
* Victim hopes "somehow" things will change
Phase Two: Crisis
In Phase Two the tension reaches its climax. The escalation may be in the form of a series of minor assaults over a period of time or one major assault. The duration of the outburst can vary from minutes to several hours. During this time victims attempt to protect themselves, but may constrain their resistance out of fear of prolonging the assault. The combination of physical and psychological abuse forms a lasting impression on battered women.
* Anxiety extremely high
* Major, controlled violence occurs
* Explosive, acute, unpredictable
* May be serious injuries, death
* Abuser blames victim
* Victim adapts in order to survive
* Victim may escape, returns when crisis is over
* Abuser may isolate victim physically and emotionally
Phase Three: Calm
Phase Three is the final stage in the cycle of abuse. In this stage the batterer is the most manipulative. The victim is convinced the battering rationale is legitimate and that she is ultimately responsible for the abuse.
Consequently, the victim may feel obliged to forgive her abuser and remain in the relationship. Among the tactics a batterer will use to persuade a battered woman to remain with him are:
1) to revere the sanctity of love and marriage;
2) to question the well-being of the children should the relationship end; and
3) to promise to change and get help.
* Whole family in shock at first
* Abuser continues to justify abuse and blame victim
* Abuser may be remorseful, seeking forgiveness
* Abuser may never explain violence - abuse temporarily stops
* All are relieved crisis is past
* Victim worn down, accepts promises if offered
* Children become caretakers to "keep peace" or survive
* Victim wants to believe the violence won't reoccur
* Survival via negotiation
* Abuser's positive qualities are most evident
