Domestic Violence is not consensual. It is a pattern of behavior used by an individual to establish and maintain coercive control over his intimate partner. Domestic violence consists of physical, sexual, psychological, and/or emotional abuse. Over time, the abusive behavior may become more frequent and severe. Acts of domestic violence are committed by both adults and adolescents.
Using Coercion and Threats
Making and/or carrying out threats to do something to hurt her. Threatening to leave her, to commit suicide, to report her to welfare. Making her drop charges. Making her do illegal things.
Using Intimidation
Making her afraid by using looks, actions, gestures. Smashing things. Destroying her property. Abusing pets. Displaying weapons.
Using Emotional Abuse.
Putting her down. Making her feel bad about herself. Calling her names. Making her think she’s crazy. Playing mind games. Humiliating her. Making her feel guilty.
Using Isolation.
Controlling what she does, who she sees and talks to, what she reads, where she goes. Limiting her outside involvement. Using jealously to justify actions.
Minimizing, Denying and Blaming.
Making light of the abuse and not taking her concerns about it seriously. Saying the abuse didn’t happen. Shifting responsibility for abusive behavior. Saying she caused it.
Using Children.
Making her feel guilty about the children. Using the children to relay messages. Using visitation to harass her. Threatening to take the children away.
Using Male Privilege.
Treating her like a servant. Making all the big decisions. Acting like the “master of the castle”. Being the one to define men and women’s roles.
Using Economic Abuse.
Preventing her from getting or keeping a job. Making her ask for money. Giving her an allowance. Taking her money. Not letting her know about or have access to family income.
(REM - "Everybody Hurts")
