Emotional

* Feel guilty for the abuse and for not stopping it

* Grieve for family and personal losses

* Confusion or conflicting feelings toward parents

* Fear of abandonment, of expressing emotions, of the unknown, and/or personal injury

* Angry about violence and chaos in their lives

* Depressed, feelings of helplessness/powerlessness

* Embarrassed by the effects of abuse and dynamics at home



Cognitive

* Blame others for their own behaviour

* Believe it is acceptable to hit people they for in order to get what they want, to express their anger, to feel powerful, or to get others to meet their needs

* Have a low self-concept originating from sense of family powerlessness

* Do not ask for what they need, let alone they want

* Do not trust

* Belief: to feel angry is bad, because people hurt

* Rigid stereotypes: to be a boy means ... to be a girl means ... to be a man, woman, husband wife means

Behavioural (often in extremes)

* Act out or withdraw

* Overachiever or underachieve

* Refusal to go to school

* Care taking, more concerned for others than self, parent substitute

* Aggressive or passive

* Rigid defences (aloof, sarcastic, defensive, "black and white" thinking)

* Excessive attention seeking (often using extreme behaviours)

* Bedwetting and nightmares

* Out of control behaviour, not able to set own limits or follow directions

* Aggression towards mum



Social

* Isolation from friends and relatives

* Relationships are frequently stormy, start intensely, and end abruptly

* Difficulty in trusting, especially adults

* Poor anger management and problem-solving skills

* Excessive social involvement (to avoid home life)

* May be passive with peers, or bully peers

* Engage in exploitative relationships, either perpetrator or victim

* Play with peers gets exceedingly rough

(Domestic Violence Intervention Project, Duluth, Minnesota)