Health,Doctor's Hospital etc...
"Alchohol is a dreadful thing," said Paul to his mate, "do you know it killed my first wife" ?
"How dreadful" said John "Alcoholic was she?"
"Oh no, I came home pissed and shot her."
A man walks into the chemist shop to see if they had anything for a permanant erection. he felt highly embarrassed when he realised the shop was owned by two women but it was too late to walk out, so he said, "I've got this permanent erection ,and it won't go down and I wondered what you could give me for it."
"Just a moment, sir" and the two women go into the back of the shop to confer.
They came back smiling.
"We can offer you the shop and £100 pounds in cash."
A man goes to see a sex psychologist because he has a fetish with egg's.
"Just look at this doc he say's pulling an egg from his pocket, look at the smoothness of the shell , the beautiful curves it has, it's gorgeous mmm,"
The psychologist is amazed.
"Do you really believe all this?"
"The man whisper's" no not really, but you've got to say these thing's if you want to take it to bed,"  
A man goes to see a plastic surgeon because he has a very small dick. The surgeon tell's him we can help you but it will mean implanting part of a baby elephant's trunk.The man agree's and the operation is a great success.
The next day he decides to celebrate and take's out an old girlfriend to dinner and to tell her how everything can be different between them now.
Suddenly while at dinner his new appendage flies out of his trouser's grab's a bread roll and disappears.
"Wow thats quite a trick" says the girl, "do it again"
But the man with an agonising look on his face, replies "I don't think my arse can take another bread roll."
A mum was worried about the small size of her son's penis, so she took him to the doctor's. Knowing she would only be satisfied if he gave her son something for it, the doctor recomended marmite on toast would cure the problem.
Next morning at breakfast there was a huge pile of marmite on toast at the table, "But mum I can't eat all these" said the son," don't be daft two are for you the rest are for your father."
A woman went to the doctor saying that everytime she went to the toilet, pennies, ten pence pieces, fifty pence pieces came out.
"Don't worry" said the doctor. "You're just going through the change."
A man goes to the doctors complaining about his hearing. The doctor looks in one ear a see's a blob of jelly, then he look's in the other ear and see's a drop of cream. "I know what the problem is" say's the doc, "your a trifle deaf"
More Jokes coming soon...