If you're talking to someone, but cannot see them, do they really exist? Or could it be that they are just a manifestation of your fears or desires? Maybe someone calls you or someone messages you online or maybe you're alone in the wilderness and you hear someone calling your name. Maybe, your in the middle of a crowed mall or flea market and you hear your name come from somewhere, but aren't sure if you really heard it or what direction it came from. If the need is great, the path reveals itself. We've all been through it before. You think that you heard a knock at the door, or a car pull up in the driveway, or a footstep in the hall. You see items, animals, or people materialize out of the shadows only to turn on a light and find it's only a towel or a fold in the curtain or a refection from the mirror. Why can't voices be the same sort of illusion? The sort where our subconscious thoughts and longings begin to breach the gap into our conscious mind. Maybe a rustle of leaves becomes your father telling you he loves you. Or how about a dripping of water becoming a supposedly long-forgotten sweetheart re-entering your life. When the need is great, strange things happen. You might be saying, 'oh that's just crazy talk, nothing like that can ever happen,' but you've got to remember that we live in an infinite universe and in an infinite universe, even the least likely events become certain to happen.
now that we're on this trip, how about this little doo-dad. could it be that we're all in our own little universes that we ourselves make up? sure, it could be like that. but then why aren't each and every one of us the most successful people in the world and why don't we get everything that we want? oh, that's an easy one. it's because we all doubt ourselves. we don't believe that we've earned it yet. each of us has this absurd notion that there's always going to be someone better than we are. that's silly. if you know that you're the best and truly live like you are, then you will be. but doubts creep their way into each of our minds no matter how hard we try to keep them out.so, instead of beign ruler of the world, we continue on in our humdrum lives and keep striving for subsistance.
ever wonder why people don't know why they do things? and then when you ask them they tell you that they've never thought about it before. why am i spending time writing on this page when hardly anyone sees it? because i've got nothing better to do with my time at the moment? no, i've got better things to do. because it's the most entertaining thing to do right now? no, i can think of more entertaining things i could be doing now. then why am i doing it? because i'm too lazy to get out of this chair and i don't feel like putting for the neccesary energy to do anything more than this. people have reasons for what motivates them to do the things that they do. sometimes they're the right reasons and sometimes they're just trying to fool themselves. they don't want to admit certain things about their character in this game of life. probably because they couldn't handle it or don't want to. most people don't like the reasons once they find them out. what motivates you in life? success? money? sex? drugs? vanity? food? society? goals? fears? love? lust? all of the above? i have a saying that gets me out of listening to most people rag on me for pushing myself so much. None of us are perfect...but it's always fun to try. people usually give up after i tell them that. giving up...heh heh heh...my friends give up on me. most everyone i know has given up on me and they don't know it. maybe they don't want to know it. maybe they're perfectly fine going on with their boxed lives pretending everything's hunky-dorry. a fine lot of fools they are if that's the case. acceptance is something that all of us have trouble with..especially acceptance of the truth. acceptance of lies is natural, it seems, but acceptance of the truth...that's a different box altogether. what makes it so difficult to accept the truth? fear? what makes us fear the truth? what truths do you fear?
are we really who we think we are? are we really individuals? are we not what our circumstances have made us? haven't other people been teaching us our whole lives? each of us has things that we've gotten from other people. it may be a collection of people, or mostly from one person, but we've all been taught. taught by outside forces. are we not, then, simply an accumulation of unoriginality? if we've taken so much from others, are we truly ourselves? since we take so much from other people, does that make them part of us or us part of them? are we all living in an assimilationist society that no one seems to see? if we are, then wouldn't it be that what we do to others, we are doing to ourselves? or flip it around and it works just as well. maybe that's why people beat up on themselves...because indirectly, they're beating up on everyone else. people act the oddest when they're all alone. that's when they are honest. honesty scares loved ones away and attracts those who hate you. be an honest person.
so let's discuss this whole giving up thing. discuss...what is that, a euphemism for me saying how much it irks me? or is it me trying to sound proper and justify what's going on in my everyday life? you probably wouldn't know, either because you don't know me, or if you do know me, you don't want to see it. that, my dear readers, is giving up on me. when you no longer want to hear what a person has to say because you don't care or because you don't feel that it's as important as your own circumstances or experiences, you've given up on a person. if someone comes to you for help and all you do is tell them what to do so that they'll leave you alone faster, that's giving up on them. when you close yourself off, put on your blinders, and continue to live your life in less-than-blissful ignorance. doing nothing for others is the undoing of ourselves. how can someone stand by and not truly help someone that they know wants their help and needs it. it's inhumane. you could be sentencing that person to death because you didn't want to feel bad and see the world for what it really is. it's pathetic, really, what some people see as important...what they need is a reality check and a slap in the face. life is gonna throw down the gloves and go for the throat and these cats are gonna get thrashed up and down and end up looking for someone to help them just like the people they turned away. pathetic.
so i'm sitting here in my usual position thinking about life, the universe, and everything (thank you douglas adams) and the subject of dreams pops into my head. what are dreams? i've heard many things, as we all have. a dream is a wish your heart makes...kinda sorta. a dream is your subconscious mind allowed to run rampant...maybe. what about a dream is a different world you travel to and become someone else? see the world through another's eyes with all their insight and afflictions. yeah, right. maybe that's why we can't really remember dreams after we wake up...because we don't want to know how we might look through someone elses eyes. or maybe we don't want to compare how great their life is and how bad ours is. they could hold the answers to our problems in life but we won't know because we choose to forget.could we really be traveling to another world/plane/dimension in the elightend state that we call sleep? okay, probably not. but then again...it could happen. couldn't it? i guess it could...tell me what you think.