Boy, I think it's thanks to movies like this that big name actors/actresses shy away from horror scripts. This is another of those mediocre flicks that just goes to prove what I've been saying for centuries, big names don't mean big movies. It may have sounded weird before movies were invented, but now who's laughing!? Answer: ME! Alright, on to business. "Alone in the Dark" is about a psychologist (I think it's the guy who played Murdoch in "the A-Team") who moves to a new town, dragging his family along for the ride, where he gets a new job at the town asylum. One night, the town has a blackout and the standard riots ensue. A small band of wackos (that's the technical term for "mentally unbalanced motherfucker") escape their confines to reign terror on the happy family. The group is made up of the leader (Jack Palance), the pyro-preacher (Martin Landau), a Jason Vorhees wanna-be with a nose bleed (some guy that never amounted to anything), and a fat pedophile named Fatty (I think he was one of the victims in Friday the 13th Part 12 : Jason Takes a Shit). Also, Donald Pleasance plays the naive doctor who thinks the poor boys just need love and attention. You just KNOW he's gonna bite the big pineapple! Donny makes an attempt to combat sharp objects with psychology, guess which one wins! It's your standard stalker film with slight twists. The convenient news report really pissed me off though! I hate shit like that! Someone tell me where it all started so I can have the guy's soul shish-ka-bobbed and devoured by the minions of Limbo! How low can YOU go?

Sequels: Nope

If You Liked This Flick, Check Out: FRIDAY THE 13TH or INTRUDER