Chud? I'll say! The title alone tells you you'll probably wanna "chud" all over the place after this flick is done! In the famous words of Dr. Scott, "Und I deed"! C.H.U.D. actually stands for, "Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers". Such as the kind which infest this movie. These C.H.U.D.s live in the sewers of NYC, feeding off their fellow humanoids: the city's homeless and the occasional snobette with a poodle. This distresses Daniel Stern, who plays a shelter worker trying to find out why all his street trash amigos are disappearing on him. Along for the little quest is a new photographer who's also taken an interest in the story and any government connections it may have. He's probably just a writer for "the X-Files" just looking for next season's storylines. Anyway, yes indeed, the U.S. government IS covering up the whole thing, because they're responsible for it! Turns out these C.H.U.D.s are actually radioactive mutant bums, transformed by radioactive waste that OUR elected officials decided to dump into the sewers! The project was codenamed, "Contamination Hazard Urban Disposal", or C.H.U.D.! So, which does C.H.U.D. stand for?! We need Mulder, not Daniel Stern! Well, as Stern and his photographer partner search the sewers for evidence, "the man" decides this is unacceptable, so a fat guy in a truck blocks off all the exits, locking the heroes in the sewer and leaving them to either be eaten by the hobos they once fed, or to be killed by the poison the city has chosen to fill the sewers with in hopes of erasing their fuck up! But, the guys manage to escape, with the fat villain still trying to run over Stern, but getting a bullet in his skull for the trouble. This magic bullet also somehow blows up the guy's truck... How? No idea, nor do I care to waste the brain cells trying to figure it out. So, the C.H.U.D.s are all dead now right? Well, if you really wanna believe that, than don't watch the little ending scene featuring John Goodman and Jay Thomas in cameos as a couple of cops getting coffee, because we learn at least one beasty lives through it all. Actually, even if you aren't disturbed by the fact that at least one survived, don't watch this scene anyway. It's stupid and involves John Goodman. All around, this movie might not have been so bad, were it not for some key killers. The first of which is that exploding truck. The second is John Goodman and Daniel Stern. The third is this movie's terrible resemblance to SCARED TO DEATH. Finally, the movie's major killer was the infamous shower scene! The woman (the photographer's wife) was pretty hot, but during her shower scene, if you watch close enough, your arousal will be ruined when you notice that... SHE WAS WEARING A TUBE TOP! And it wasn't like a flesh colored tube top, so as to attempt covering up the fact, but it was a BLACK tube top! Were the creators of this tragedy just really pathetic in their editing and camera work, or have I been wrong all these years and women actually shower in clothing?! Damn you Hollywood!!!

Sequels: C.H.U.D. 2: BUD THE C.H.U.D.

If You Liked This Flick, Check Out: SLEEPAWAY CAMP, there's another "bathing suit in the shower" scene in there too... damn insecure bitches