Normally I scoff at forgein films, especially those that escape the festering armpit known as France. But, here is one of those RARE exceptions! It's chock full o' startling and bizarre imagery, much like you'd expect from Terry Gilliam or even H.R. Giger! Oddly enough though, the director (and several other cast members) went on to do ALIEN RESURRECTION here in the states... But, enough about that, on to THE CITY OF LOST CHILDREN! The movie features "... and the Beast" himself, Ron Perlman, as One: a sideshow strongman whose mental sparkplugs aren't exactly all firing straight. One day, One is doing his little street act, when some jerk knifes the poor lunk's manager! Later that night, as One and his little bro are relaxing in their trailer, a gang of goons with freakish cybernetic eyes snatch the boy, despite the big man's attempts to prevent it! What a crappy day to be a strongman! The weirdoes (called "Third Eyes") take the kid back to their Hitler-like evangelist leader. He in turn gives the child over to an impish little midget woman, who needs the boy for her hubby, Krank. Krank is this gangly and disgruntled old man who has no soul, so he needs to use some dream stealing doo-hickey to steal the happy dreams of kidnapped children, hence why he's now got One's bro. Aside from the "Third Eye" cult, and the midget woman, Krank's also got this little tribe of nitwits working for him (who are all clones of the professor who created Krank) and some brain in an aquarium... I told you this was some fucked up shit! Meanwhile, One associates himself with a group of vagrant children and their, well, I guess she's their leader: Miette. One saves Miette from another odd creature: a Siamese twin bitch of a ringleader, who's using the kids to pull little crimes for her/them. So, Miette and One, now free, go to the City of Lost Children in search of little bro. The City is on some oil-rig setup in the middle of a large body of water. Along for the ride is Krank's aforementioned creator: an eccentric yet brilliant scientist who is appalled by what Krank has done, and wants to atone for his past sins by destroying Krank's little hideout and everything inside! So, while he does that, our heroes release all the kidnapped children. Then, before Krank can steal the little brother's dreams, Miette goes into the dreamworld, defeats the crotchety old pisser, killing him and allowing our protagonists to escape prior to the fireworks. Happy ending for all! As I said before, this was an amazingly visual flick, but it also delivers on the emotional crap too. I mean, you actually feel sorry for the twisted fiend Krank. He never asked to be made, yet here he is, forced to live a soulless existence, unable to dream, only to have nightmares. Plus, you can't help but be weirded out when he tries cheering up the kids by dressing as Santa Claus, succeeding only in scaring the tacos out of 'em! Krank, you misguided freaky deek! Excellent flick! Great work for once, ya cheese eatin' surrender monkeys! Now, if you'll just take back Gerard Depar-douche bag.

DVD X-tras: First and foremost, for you kids out there who had a pisser of a time trying to watch the movie in it's original, subtitled form, now you can CHOOSE which language it plays in! So, for those lazy fucks out there like myself, you can just slap it into Godzilla-Lip Mode and watch in English, Spanish, or just leave it in French! Whatever floats your linguistic boat. Also, the DVD has a variety of costume and production illustrations; talent bios/filmos for the major players; an artsy, yet bland trailer featuring praise form Mr. Monty Python: Terry Gilliam; and finally, a commentary track from Ron Perlman and the director: Jean-Pierre Juenet... not exactly a barrel of laughs.

Sequels: Nope

If You Liked This Flick, Check Out: DARK CITY or BRAZIL