This is the directorial debut of David Keith, star of AN OFFICER AND A GENTLEMAN and FIRESTARTER (that's an odd combo), and it's a curse in name and being. It opens innocently enough, focusing on a disturbing family in Tennessee (where all families are at least a little disturbed). The Hayes family (boy, they sure could've used distant cousin Isaac to help out) is your average conservative band of mildly retarded bible beaters. They go about their boring and worthless lives, until one night a big flaming sphere lands in their backyard and melts! Some guy tells them that the ball is just frozen excrement (shit) that must've been ejected out of an airplane in mid-flight... boy, these people really are stupider that I give them credit for! Anyway, the melted malt ball from space releases alien microbes into the water supply, which makes for some good ol' fashion mayhem later on. This is when our hero, Carl the reservoir researcher, arrives in town to look into the possible effects the supposed shitball may have had. Carl, of course, is played by Bo Duke himself: John Schneider! At first, the crops seem to be "bumper", as big fat tomatoes and apples and such make for a good haul. Problem is, when you open the suckers up, they're full of maggots! I wonder if Fulci or Argento were secretly involved in this movie. The interiors WERE shot in Rome... Bah, anyway, In addition to the misleading cancerous crops, the chickens have developed a taste for blood, and the Hayes family is getting uglier and crazier than usual! All except for our little protagonist Zach, played by STAND BY ME's Wil Wheaton. It's good for him that he didn't partake of any contaminated food or beverage, but I think I must've been slipped some LSD contaminated orange soda, because the movie degenerates into nothing but confusion for me! The last 10 or 15 minutes happen like a blur, and too much shit happens at once to comprehend it all! Before you know it, Wil's family's turned psycho zombie pack, his house collapses, and then John Schneider appears from thin air and saves him! What the Hell?! Did everyone decide they had other projects to do, so they just threw together a quick and befuddling ending just to get it over with?! Sure, I imagine John Schneider's a douche-bag to have to work with, but did they really need to do such an obvious rush job?! As if the ending wasn't annoying enough, we're also subjected to WAY too many fat, ugly, hairy dudes showing off too much of their prized beer guts. Maggots nothing, THAT was the real disgusting part! Basically, the movie is stupid and confusing, but if you've got a thing for John Schneider, or just "the Dukes of Hazzard" in general, pick it up. However, if you want my advice, save some cash and just buy some razorblades and spend the evening slashing at various limbs and blood vessels. Trust me, it's better than CURSE-ing yourself.

Also Known As: THE FARM

Sequels: THE CURSE II: THE BITE, THE CURSE III: BLOOD SACRIFICE, THE CURSE IV: THE ULTIMATE SACRIFICE

If You Liked This Flick, Check Out: MUTANT or "the Dukes of Hazzard" (if John Schneider's acting really moved you THAT much)