Not to be confused with the Australian slasher flick of the same name, this short film comes to us from a self-proclaimed fan of the horror genre by the name of Jeff Cooper. I actually found it on the Sci-Fi Channel website for their show "Exposure", which basically shows nothing but independent short films hosted by Lisa Marie... who looks pretty fuckin' nice as a blond... what the Hell was she ever doing with that monkey spanking child molesting she-male anyway?

Anyway, our story opens in an auditorium, where renowned (and often considered the horror genre's greatest) director Alfred Carpenter (of course a play on Alfred Hitchcock and John Carpenter) is giving a little presentation to the students of this small film school, while complaining about the shine and sheen of modern horror films, claiming it steals from the suspense and terror the films were built on. I'd like to interrupt here for a moment if I may (and even if you don't like it you can't do shit, because it's MY site and therefore it's MY time and space that I'm wasting, so I think I'll get on with it) and comment on Alfred Carpenter's role as "the greatest director of the horror genre". If the little slip they showed from one of his movies, or the cheesy titles that are dropped throughout the film (such as THE GUTS OF NAVARONE) are any indications, then what kind of alternate universe does this story take place in that shit in the vein of BLOODY MURDER is considered some of the best horror films of all time... and I'm expected to take this crap seriously?! Jeff Cooper, I'm starting to dislike you.

Following his little presentation, Mr. Carpenter is confronted by a female fan/student seeking employment and an opportunity to prove her talent. The moment Mary (the girl) chooses for this little meeting of the minds? Why, when Al's on the crapper of course! What better place to get into a mind's mind and soul than while he's pinching a loaf. Carpenter is understandably disturbed by this invasion of his pooper privacy, and makes his unhappiness verbal, wiping his ass with Mary's resume and bidding her good day. Before he leaves campus though, Mary stops him again, this time in his car, giving him another "chance" as she puts it, to get his hands on her raw talent... I'd make any number of innuendoes here, but I'm sure you can all come up with your own, so I won't bother. Well, Mary's ambition and dedication to her craft finally persuades Mr. Carpenter to give her a shot (again, any number of innuendoes, make your own, etc.) and he invites her along to audition a woman for his next film... wow, there's a LOT of places for dirty minds to get a laugh in the meager 20 minutes of this film!

That night, Mary pays a visit to Alfred's secluded studio/home, where she meets Michelle, another young woman who has auditioned for many of Carpenter's movies, but has yet to get her big break. Well, the big break finally comes for her, only it's a big break in her lifespan, as Carpenter stabs her repeatedly with a real knife during the audition, videotaping the entire scene. Why do such a thing? Well, as Carpenter says, how can he be expected to direct scenes of brutal murder and carnage if he himself doesn't have any experience with the real stuff to work with! He then offers to pass his secret torch on to Mary, giving her the knife and telling her to finish Michelle off, so she can become the kind of "great" genre director he is. She refuses, prompting Al to chase her through the house with an axe, ending with the two struggling over the implement of destruction and fading to black... before fading back in to a second seminar, this one held by the new "master" of the horror genre, Miss Mary Wilson. Now, this means one of two things. Either the clip we just saw was actually a part of her film, or it was an actual flashback of her real life. Whichever the case, Mary does refer to her mentor as "late", so I'm guessing that she was the victor of that little conflict. To sum up CUT, I'll do the easy thing and compare it to a film it seems to take a lot of influence from, and basically call it URBAN LEGEND: FINAL CUT if you cut out the majority of the cast and edit it down to 20 minutes... though I'm really not sure which was made first, as they were both created in 2000. They're also rather bland and none too creative. Click the rolling head animation below to check out CUT.

Sequels: supposedly Mr. Cooper's looking to make this into a feature length film, but I don't see it happening anytime soon...

If You Liked This Flick, Check Out: URBAN LEGEND: FINAL CUT or RETURN TO HORROR HIGH