This "jem" opens with a little narration about how it's 50 years after an 8.9 wipes out California, Oregon, and Washington. Phoenix (as in "Nevada") has become "a city divided" and due to my visions of the future (and some help from the movie) I'd say this all takes place in 2077. The opening scene has us watching as Jack Ford (haha, the BEASTMASTER himself: Marc Singer) gets his ass beat by a robot before he blows a sizable chunk of the chip byter's face off and stuffs the head in a bowling bag (for sale later). Meanwhile, some stud muffin named Hawks swipes 4 "pleasure droids": robot babes dressed in "Victoria's Secret" undies. He plans to sell 'em on the Black Market. Jack gets hired by a corporation to bring back the circuit sluts, partnered up with the stereotypical "potential love interest" prude that all action flix have. Of course she starts off as a stuck up beeyotch, but there's no woman that Marc Singer (and a bottle of Southern Comfort) can't loosen up! Jack gets the opportunity to sell Beth while on their search for info on the she-bots, but doesn't take it and now he's got hitmen on his ass... which he heroically defeats in a whore house. When the hitmen fail though, in comes the Assassin Droid... which Jack also beats with ease. Cripes, no wonder there's 2 "ass"es in assassin! That droid didn't do shit! Ford's unbelievable feats continue as he shoots down a pursuing helicopter, using nothing more than a handgun. Elsewhere, Hawks get screwed out of his deal for the cyber-ho's (cuz he lost one of them). This leads him to team up with Ford and Beth to "bring down an underworld of depravity and corruption" or some such good guy crap. They use Beth as a fill-in for the missing droid, though she has to go through a "try-out" session with the evil crime-boss guy before he pays. While this goes on, Ford and Hawks find the other droids then vaporize the crime-boss, grab Beth and run off to victory. Actually, Hawks (the only cool guy in the trio) gets killed... figures. Surprise surprise, Beth and Jack fall in love and she goes with him into the "lower class" world as the missing pleasure droid (in a nun costume) gives herself to a bum she finds on the street (heh heh). The two words to best describe this movie are "stu" and "pid"! All in all, CYBERZONE is just a poor man's BLADE RUNNER. But, on the plus side, Bordellos of the future will only be $15... for 3 hours! Wahoo! Future, here I cum!

Sequels: None

If You Liked This Flick, Check Out: BLADE RUNNER or BEASTMASTER