Revenge?! The only people who should be getting revenge here are the G Fans who had to sit through this shit, then live with the gut wrenching knowledge that it still exists! Of all the Godzilla re-releases of 1998, why did THIS have to one of them?! They couldn't have re-released GODZILLA RAIDS AGAIN or GODZILLA VS. GIGAN instead?! ARGH! Who makes these infernal decisions?! Bah. Anyway, onto the movie itself. As you may have guessed by now, I believe this to be THE lowest point in Godzilla's career of peaks and valleys. I have cursed this cinematic mistake with the title of "Worst Godzilla Film of ALL Time", beating out GODZILLA VS. MEGALON and even GODZILLA VS. THE SMOG MONSTER! It all starts with this chubby little turd in tiny shorts named Itchy-Row, or something, as he is harassed by a gang of slightly older boys in equally short shorts... and rightfully so! This stupid kid is annoying and just serves to bring down the class grade point average and his family name! His hero is Godzilla's son Minya for Fuck's sake (I refer, of course, to Horace Fuck as opposed to Jesus Christ, for obvious reasons), and every time he tries to imitate Miny's screech, it sounds like the poor kid's passing one of those oddly shaped Lego pieces through his colon! OUCH! Anyway, this special ed. reject has a tendency to escape into little daydreams, so as to get away from the fact that he's a total anal wart and his life sux. In these dreams he's transported to Monster Island and hangs out with a scaled down version of the bastard son of Godzilla and the Pillsbury Dough-Boy: Minya. Minya can also speak English, though he sounds like a 38 yr old 2nd Grade drop-out... or Billy Bob Thornton, depending on which sounds worse. Miny and Itchy ("it's the Itchy and Miny Show!") find they have alot in common as they watch big daddy G in gratuitous stock footage scenes of fights from SON OF GODZILLA and GODZILLA VS. THE SEA MONSTER. For instance, they're both chubby little pussies, and they're both targets of bullies named Gabara (no, not Gamera... unless Minya's got a cold), except that Miny's Gabara is big, green, has a bad haircut, and can channel electricity through his hands. Back in the real world, Itchy is kidnapped by bank robbers, then continues his stupid little daydreams. Godzilla gets fed up with his son being such a wuss, so he basically tells the brat that if he doesn't stand up to Gabara, HE'll beat his pudgy, stumpy tail around! Nothing like the threats of a father figure to get your ass in gear! Anyway, to give children the false hopes that they can actually accomplish something if they try (or, if their father threatens to beat them), Minya defeats Gabara. Also, to up the aforementioned false hopes, Itchy escapes his kidnappers, handing them over to the cops before confronting his own Gabara, beating his ass and... taking control of the short shorts squad?! So, this movie is telling kids it's okay to be in a gang, and that violence IS the answer?! WAIT A MINUTE!!!!!! I gotta stop drinking from the toilet... That 2000 Flushes is starting to finish the brain frying that 80's cartoons began! Hey, it's just the jackal-dog in me baby, heh heh.

Also Known As: TERROR OF GODZILLA

Sequels: Actually, the older series of Godzilla flicks never really connected with each other, so I guess they're technically not sequels...

If You Liked This Flick, Check Out: SON OF GODZILLA or SUPER MONSTER GAMERA