Halloween 4: the Return of Michael Myers
(1988)
Remember that little explosion at the end of HALLOWEEN II, that was meant to kill off Myers and his vengeful psychiatrist Dr. Loomis once and for all and make the world safe from the threat of sequels? Well, turns out that massive fireball did little more than put Myers in a coma and scar Dr. L's face. Now, a decade after that tragic holiday, Myers is on his way to another holding facility. This of course is the moment where the unfeeling fucker breaks his bonds, slaps his jailers, and heads out for his hometown of Haddonfield. Meanwhile, in said sleepy little town, it's nearing closer to All Hallow's Eve, and young Jamie is just a little girl trying to live a normal life. Who is little Jamie you ask? Read on. As for the hideous Dr. L (Donald Pleasance resprising his most well known role), he is elsewhere when he recieves the news of Mike's escape. It triggers those mad scientist juices inside him, as he grabs his cane, loads his gun, straps on his trenchcoat, and sets out on his crusade of psychological heroics once more.
Loomis follows Mike's path to an out-of-the-way gas station, where he unloads a few more bullets into the killer before the villain escapes once more, stampeding away in a tow truck. On a side note, I think it's time I reviewed these movies and found out exactly how many bullets Loomis puts into Myers' hide over the course of the series. Anyway, back in Haddonfield, young Jamie is the victim of unfair harassment by her fellow classmates, because she's really the niece of the town's most notorious monster, Will Eisner! Oh wait, he's that dickhead who owns Disney... Jamie's real uncle is Michael Myers. Yep, she's the bastard daughter of Laurie Strode, who supposed died a while ago. Actually, no one tells her the truth that Jamie Lee Curtis got really snobby around this time and didn't want to resort to doing horror movies anymore, but you really don't tell stuff like that to the abandoned child. It leaves heavy psychological boo-boos. Speaking of uncle Mikey, he's made his way into town and has set his sites on his young niece, stalking her and watching her every move. As for Dr. L, he's still trying to hitch a ride to Haddonfield himself. Don't worry too much about young Jamie's predicament though, cuz she's got her older foster sister Rachel to look after her, and besides, Loomis has contacted the Haddonfield sheriff and told him about Myers, so there's boys in blue proweling the streets everywhere too... like they were any use in Mike's last visit. Sure enough, the cops are just as useless this time too, as Mike actually takes them out one-by-one until the majority or the officers are dead or on a wild goose chase. But, if the law is gone, then who will enforce the rules and protect the citizens? A drunk posse of course! Yep, many of the more primitive members of the Haddonfield PTA have taken up arms and loaded themselves with whiskey in order to hunt down Myers and restore some justice to their fair town! But, I guess alcohol really does impare your senses, as they accidentally mow down a few innocent people in the process, tying up the other police officers as they try to round up the boozing vigilantes.
As for our underaged heroes, who can't get their teen hands on any 100 proof, they lock themselves up in the sheriff's house... which also happens to be the house of one of the girls involved. But, all the strong male characters of the group decide to split up and secure the fort, leaving the ladies vulnerable when Mike finds his way into the piggy's abode. After following the first rule of movie slashers (kill the people engaging in sweet sweet carnal actions first), Mike then goes after his niece and her guardian angel. Jamie and Rachel escape and make their way to the school. As for uncle Mike, he takes a quick time out to rub out a few of those drunken hicks, when out of nowhere Rachel nails him with a pick-up! Jamie then gets out, has some kind of family moment with her uncle Mike, says a good-bye of sorts, then watches as the few remaining cops unload their shotguns into the masked killer. The fiend is knocked backwards, stumbling and falling down some kind of abandoned mine shaft (like the kind found conveniently in a Warner Bros. cartoon), likely NOT to his final resting place. This isn't the end though, as that comes soon after, back at Jamie and Rachel's house. While celebrating their after killer victory party, the festivities are interrupted when Jamie, dressed like a clown, cuts down her foster mom with a butcher knife. Aw, just like her uncle Mikey did to his sister when he was her age. Like uncle like niece! But, the suspense and drama of the scene is ruined, all because of Dr. Loomis's hammy and over-acted barage of "NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!".
Now yes, those friggin' Silver Shamrock shinanigans of the last HALLOWEEN were disturbingly unviewable, but this, this should've been much better than it was! Like I said, Myers has never been at the top of my list of favorite horror film slashers, but he deserves better than this for a comeback picture. The general pacing of the film seemed way too rushed, thinning itself out too much and not taking enough time to develope an interesting story, or even any little touches to impress me with, like the FRIDAY THE 13TH series does. Yeah, it's something to find out Mike's got a niece and that Laurie's dead, but to Hell with it, that's not enough. Rachel and Mike didn't get enough focus because of the extensive cast attentions, and Jamie just didn't pull of that "feel sorry for me, I'm a tortured little kid" attitude. The finale scene also might've been good, if Donald Pleasance hadn't been there to cheeseball it to death. Besides, I knew it was coming anyway... Oh well, guess "the Shape" will just have to trudge on for the next few sequels, and I'll have to sit through them and bitch as always.
Sequels: HALLOWEEN 5: THE REVENGE OF MICHAEL MYERS; HALLOWEEN: THE CURSE OF MICHAEL MYERS; HALLOWEEN: H20
If You Liked This Flick, Check Out: FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 2 or BLOODY MURDER
