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Howling II: Your Sister is a Werewolf

(1985)

Yes, your vision has not been fucked with, this series went from gold to gold plated feces REAL quick! The only disappointment bigger than this was Elm St. 2! Okay, we've got horror legend, and animated fossil, Christopher Lee as a decrepit werewolf hunter. He confronts Karen (the heroine of the first move) 's brother Ben and his "friend" Jenny about Karen's lycanthropy (again, werewolf-ism Jethro). Ben thinks Chris is full o' shit, but Jenny goes along with it. They fully kill Karen and could've ended this over dressed crap-o-rama, but they decide to drag it out for another hour by sending the trio to Austria to kill the wolf queen, Sturba. I once anally penetrated a very hairy woman's vacuum cleaner, and I think her name was Sturba! But, I think her growling and savage thrashing were do to dry scalp, so it was probably a different Sturba. Anyway, Ben and Jenny (yep, those are 'n's) team up with some more werewolf hunters to fight Satan's stray dogs and their strangely arousing, sexual, cult practices (which include violent 3-ways). But, the cult captures their Kung-Fu midget and some other shit happens. I guess the writers forgot they were writing about lycanthropes (see previous explanation Jethro) and figured they were just writing about hairy vampires! Instead of the standard fire and silver bullets, these flea bags had to be put down with titanium stakes and holy objects! Damn Lee! I knew he had a bad influence on people! Damn his hypnotic Dracula eyes! This thing was NOT a werewolf movie! Argh!!!

Sequels: HOWLING III: THE MARSUPIALS, HOWLING IV: THE ORIGINAL NIGHTMARE, HOWLING V: THE REBIRTH, HOWLING VI: THE FREAKS, THE HOWLING: NEW MOON RISING

If You Liked This Flick, Check Out: COUNT DRACULA AND HIS VAMPIRE BRIDE or COUNT DRACULA