Slasher movies. Some can be good, some can be bad, some can become classics that live forever in the anals of horror history. NIGHT RIPPER is one that's in a catagory all it's own: so bad that it ravages your subconscious mind for the rest of eternity, stopping only to take a crap on your frontal lobe from time to time. Directed by Jeff Hathcock (Jeff hath what?), this is just another stupid 90 minutes slice-and-dice-o-rama that makes you bounce your head off of sheetrock in an attempt to forget it and anything associated with it. The film quality is horrendous, making the movie appear to be one big car commerical. The acting is beneath that of even a grade school drama club, but at least at a school play you get stale cookies and watered down Hi-C. NIGHT RIPPER provides us with nothing. I paid $2 to buy a movie that the video store probably would've GIVEN to me, had I simply said, "Hey, it's NIGHT RIPPER. Don't you think you should pay ME to take it off your hands?". The register jockey would've then thrown the tape into a bag, spit on it, then given me a $5 bill and a hand full of penny candy (which ironically cost four cents a piece) and said many praises in my name as I exited. But no, I was too lazy to say anything, so I just slapped $2 in pennies and nickels down on the counter and left. As for the movie itself, there is an evil slasher on the loose, killing would-be models left and right. Could it be the know-it-all photographer? Or perhaps... ah screw it, it's the lesbian. She kills the models because she dated a model once... I think. She winds up killed by some manequins. Okay, done with the story, now back to the bitching. Jeff may Hathcock, but Jaff also Hath-no-style and Hath-no-directing-ability. Not only is the flick dull and pointless (and titless) with only mild (and badly done at that) gore, but it also features a couple of badly done "chase" scenes, as a car slowly follows another car around the nightlife of what appears to be Shitwater Iowa, in an attempt to keep it's location secret from the other car. Not only were these horribly directed and boring scenes that were just shot from the backseat of the chase car with a home video camera, but they were also nightmarishly edited. The first scene lasts 2 1/2 minutes. In a movie like this, 2 1/2 minutes feels like an eternity. You actually start counting the seconds in an effort to keep your mind busy and awake while you await the scene to end. The next "chase" scene is the same thing, only lasting a full on FOUR minutes! If you think the 2 1/2 minutes one was bad, you'll be stabbing yourself in the eyes repeatedly after this! I kept my fingers crossed in the hopes that the NEW YORK RIPPER would make a cameo and slash up the lezbo NIGHT RIPPER, but my prayers and sacrifices went unanswered, as will all yours if you fool heartedly view this film in an attempt to prove your fortitude. Don't be a hero man, just keep walking!

Sequels: If there is, someone's in for a LOT of pain!

If You Liked This Flick, Check Out: NEW YORK RIPPER or MANIAC