Yep, Freddy's back AGAIN. This time, Freddy is given new life, thanks to... JASON! No, not the NHL reject, but a dog. Yes, a dog pisses flames on Freddy's auto-graveyard resting place. I wonder if, as a god, I could piss fire? If a lowly dog can, why not I? Wait... WHY THE HELL WOULD I WANT TO PISS FIRE!!!! Nevermind. Okay, Krueger kills the last of the Dream Warriors, and she (the last Warrior) passes her power on to a new found high school friend. Now Alice (the bearer of the power) is Fred's link to a whole new buffet. As per usual, her friends start dropping like I do after seeing video of the girls' locker room hijinx! Boy, the grave diggers in that town must have made a KILLING (haha)! You have to feel sorry for the girl's brother though, the poor sap was killed on the can! Just minding his own business, dropping some friends off at the pool, when he falls a sleep and dies! It's sad. Funny, but sad. But, as each one bites the big corn dog in the sky, Alice somehow absorbs their talents, as well as their habits and bullshit philosophies. Eventually, Alice turns into a complete bad-ass, hunts down Freddy, and saves her boyfriend and the souls of her other friends from eternal torment (blah blah blah). Freddy is defeated when he sees himself in a mirror... that is such a crock of SHIT! Thanks to this movie, we now know that Freddy is NOT a dream demon, as we had been told so long, but more like a basilisk that everyone dreams about! Uggh! I am getting SO sick of Mr. Krueger, I'm happy the ride's almost over. The only really good part of this movie: Freddy eating soul pizza (REALLY good, if you can find it) and then it gives him gas of the highest caliber, as blazing beams of light RIP from his body. I usually just get REALLY bad farts from soul pizza, but BASILISKS and gods are different, I guess.

Sequels: A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 5: THE DREAM CHILD, FREDDY'S DEAD: THE FINAL NIGHTMARE

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