This here be the Full Moon take on the classic Poe tale, adapted by good ol' Chuck Band and directed by Stuart Gordon (WAHOO!!!) starring Lance Henriksen and featuring Jeffrey Combs!!! Henriksen plays the Grand Inquisitor (GI), while Combs plays the toadie-like clerk Francisco. It opens on a confusing note, as a corpse (yes, a dead body) is whipped, then the bones are ground to dust and used in an hourglass. Later, a Baker's (Antonio) wife (Maria) is branded as being a witch when she interferes in the whipping of a heretic boy. Tony's (Antonio) pleas for her life fall on deaf ears however as Mar (Maria) is brought to trial, where she is stripped, gawked at, and fondled by 3 guys, then thrown into the dungeon. GI falls madly in love with Mar, so, she's off the hook right? WRONG! He just tortures her more because he thinks she's putting a spell on him! But, Tony busts in and whacks GI with a big soup ladel and saves Mar... but they just get caught again. HAHA! The Pope (BASTARD!!!) sends a Cardinal to oversee the actions of GI, so GI has him walled up in a little room! THAT is how you deal with religion boys and girls! Well, if you don't have a high powered weed whacker around that is... Mar gives up and gives herself to GI to do as he pleases, but then he blames HER when HE's the one who can't get it up! HAHA! The "Grand" Inquisitor is impotent! Well, GI cuts out her tongue, and using a trick she learned from a real witch, Mar forces her body into a coma. She wakes up in a tomb, running out of air, as Tony sits under GI's new toy, the Pendulum! But, with quick thinking, he gets some rats to chew through his arm bindings and he crawls from the PIT of spikes below him. Then, Tony fights off several guards as fire rages around him. He of course wins, then frees Mar before she suffocates (thought he might have to become a necrophile for a second there), and this "resurrection" of Mar's drives GI mad, and he ironically falls into his own pit, then, the Inquisition's over. A couple parts of this movie stood out more than others to me. One in particular involved an "herbalist" eating gunpowder, then exploding as she burns at the stake! THIS resulted in bone fragment shrapnel raining down on the crowd! WAHOO! STICK IT TO THE MAN! But, possibly THE most enjoyable scene was watching GI stick his fingers through the holes of a crucified man's hands!!! Now THAT looked like fun! Heh Heh.

Sequels: Nope

If You Liked This Flick, Check Out: BLOODSUCKING FREAKS or LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT for more fun with torture!