"He that fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster" - Friedrich Nietzche (you know, the "God is dead" guy). "Eat Me" - Anonymous (though I think it was made popular by Crow on MST3K). Man, what a way to start a movie, heh heh. RAVENOUS is one of those extremely rare horror movies that mixes cannibalism with colonial America, and manages to throw in some dark humor to keep it from becoming too dreary or confusing! A well done piece of cinematic art that, like AMERICAN PSYCHO, was not taken as kindly by the public as it was by me, as proven by it's poor box office showings. It all begins at "the Mexican-American War 1847", where Captain John Boyd experiences some brutal gore drenched action, managing to survive the cowards' way (hiding under dead bodies), before going into a frenzy (caused when he accidentally swallows some of his commanding officer's blood) and taking over the enemy command post on his own, and then returning home. Upon his return, John is given a medal of honor, then proceeds to blow chunks at his victory dinner when he thinks back to just what it is that got him that shiny piece of tin! Upon confessing to his cowardice and inhuman taste testing, Captain Boyd is demoted and shipped out to an almost completely unmanned outpost in the mountains of California, where we're introduced to the rag tag sekelton crew he is now part of. The other members consist of his new commander Colonel Hart (the warn out cult classic, Jeffrey Jones), the 1840's answer to Tommy Chong: Cleaves (David Arquette in his only tolerable role ever), Knox: the alcoholic medic, Reich the gung-ho soldier boy, the group's holy man Toffler, and a few Injun helpers. One faithfull day, a near dead human popsicle named Calqhoun (RObert Carlyle of TRAINSPOTTING) shows up on their doorstep! After they thaw him out, they learn that he's the sole survivor of a wayward group of travelers who were snowed in wile trekking through the mountains, and had to resort to killing and eating each other to live! Wonder if his name's Donner... Our team packs up to go look for the remains of the guy's group, hoping to find some more survivors. Guess it was quota time. On the way there, the missionary Toffler bumbles and falls down s jagged hillside, getting his guts ripped up, but surviving. Here, I have to scream out, "WHERE'S YOUR GOD NOW CHRISTIAN?!". That night, Toffler awakens to a most bizarre sight, as Calqhoun is licking away at Toff's wounds! He says he was doing it to keep it from infection or something, but you know something's wrong with that dude. Eventually, our heroes find the cave their travel companion told them about, and John and Riech go in to investigate while the others stay outside. They find the remains of Calqhoun's party, but discover that Calqhoun killed them all! And now he plans on doing the same with the rescue party! Killing their Indian companion and the Colonel right off the bat, he then hunts down Toffler, and guts the bastard good! Again I ask, "WHERE'S YOUR GOD NOW?!". Since the TV's in no mood to answer me, I return to the action, just in time for that back-stabbing Calqhoun put a knife through Reich! It comes down to John and Cal mano-a-mano, ending when John opts for amateur cliff diving as opposed to being consumed. Luckily for him though, a patch of trees breaks his fall... and his leg... ouch! Over the course of the next few days, Cal consumes his latest kills as John is left lying next to Reich's body, trying to survive, and going insane in the process. Of course, he breaks down and has Reich for dinner, wchich gives him renewed strength. How? The ancient Native American myth of the Wendigo states that, if a man eats the flesh of another man, he will gain that man's strength, as well as gain an appetite for more warm homo-sapien meat. So, now with enough strength to make his way back to the fort, John returns with an unavoidable craving for human flesh, with death being the only possible alternative! Now, the fort falls under the leadership of Colonel Ives... who happens to be Calqhoun! Of course, no one believes John's accusations, since there's NO evidence of his claims left. So, now the only people left are John, Cleaves, the Indian woman, and that drunken Knox, and only John knows the truth behind Ives! Sure enough, when no one else is around, Ives plays mind games with the injured John, telling him about how great cannibalism is for the body's natural healing process, and that John should stop trying to recover from it like a junkie, and just embrace it like he does! John refuses, and when Cleaves and all the horses wind up dead, John is branded a mad man and gets the blame for the deaths. But, looks like Cal's not the only cannibal at the fort, because Col. Hart helps him in killing Knox and the woman! How you ask? Well, tired of living the lonely life of a cannibal, Ives decided to heal Hart with his human stew, saving his life and condemning him to becoming a flesh addict too. Now, since John won't go the way of the hungry by his own choice, our antagonists decide to force feed him, convinced that once he sees the benefits of their way of life, he too will come around. How to force him to eat it? They give him a lethal wound! Now, it's death or cannibalism. Which does he choose? He does the smart thing and picks cannibalism, of course! However, as his body repairs, he convinces Hart that what they're doing is morally wrong. So, in exchange for a swift death and an end to the Jeffrey Dahmer lifestyle, Hart lets John free. After giving Hart what he wanted, John then goes after Ives and they have the classic "hero vs. villain" duel that most movies have, using clubs, knives, pitchforks, sabres, cleavers, the ceiling, and finally they end it with both of them getting trapped and killed by the second largest giant bear trap (the ones that look like big metal teeth) I've ever seen! It all finshes up when the General and his men arrive at the fort to see what's going on... and they all eat some of Ives's left over human stew... heh hhe. I humbley thank Ted Griffin for writing this refreshing flick, and I'd also like to thank Antonia Bird for directing a modern epic, if you ask me! The two of them have brought us one all around outstanding movie, especially the feeling of isolation brought on by the remote location of the hills and forest, far from any kind of civilization or help! Spectacular setting! Also, some pretty impressive acting all around, especially by the devious and feral Robert Carlyle as Calqhoun/Ives! Finally, I wanna make mention of the oddly disturbing though light and funny bajo soundtrack by Michael Nyman and Damon Albarn! I wonder if it's available on disc... Thanx to everyone involved for showing us that a horror flick doesn't have to be set in the 1900s to be cool!

Sequels: Nope

If You Liked This Flick, Check Out: THE LEGEND OF ALFRED PACKER or CANNIBAL: THE MUSICAL!