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Robot Jox

(1990)

Though I love the guy like HE were a god, Jeffrey Combs should NOT have an "also starring" credit for this movie! He plays some lowly peasant/gambler! How does that justify "also starring"? Sorry Jeff, but unless you won an Oscar for this role, my judgment stands! The movie itself is by Stuart Gordon and Produced by the king of video cassette: Charlie Band! It was made by Band's Empire Pictures, and had a sequel-of-sorts made by Full Moon called ROBOT WARS, which was then kinda sequelized with CRASH AND BURN. So, it's about the future, where Jungle Gyms are REALLY dangerous, hot dogs are considered REAL meat, and countries battle for territories with matches between giant robots piloted by robot jox. There's some kind of racial tension between humans and test tube babies that probably makes a statement, but I don't care about that shit! The hero (instead of heroine for a change) is Achilles, or something, who's a soon-to-be-retired robot jock who wants to fight in one more battle, but must compete with a flat chested test-tuber (there's the heroine!) trying to prove she can do as good as a "normal" human. She knocks the sucker out, and has NO trouble passing as him with a helmet on, thanx to her lack of milk jugs. She fights the villain and cuts his robot's arm off, only to get her ass whooped. Achilles busts up the fight, takes control of his robot, and proceeds to take out his enemy (and his buzzsaw penis!) and himself. It ends up with the two fighting mano-a-mano with rocks and poles. There's probably symbolism here too, but I again don't care. The future sucks! Also, fat Texans are always back stabbers. I'm not being prejudice, it's just fate.

Sequels: ROBOT WARS, CRASH AND BURN

If You Liked This Flick, Check Out: TERMINATOR 2: JUDGMENT DAY or ARENA