SCARY MOVIE is good for one reason: it makes a mockery of SCREAM and all it's neo-slasher bastard offspring that have burrowed their way into society while no one of any sense was looking. SCREAM was meant to be a tongue-in-cheek send up of the slasher genre and the mistakes made by the dopey teens in these movies. It was originally planned to be titled SCARY MOVIE, but wound up becoming less parody and more like just another slasher flick. It actually seemed to take itself seriously and burdened us with yet another masked serial killer and a bunch of "fresh faced" ass monkeys whose jugulars I would love to rip open with rusted chainsaws. So anyway, to quote Director Keenan-Ivory Wayans on SCARY MOVIE, "It's a spoof of a parody"... which is what I just spent so much space explaining!!! Foiled by my own drawn out explanations.

My review will be short, as the film can be summed up easily: it combines the "plots" of SCREAM and I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER. The movie's only real effective element is the jokes, and though I usually like to discuss films in detail, I'll leave it up to you to just trust me and rent SCARY MOVIE to check out the majority of the jokes for yourself. Why? I'm lazy, so sue me. Just trust me, it's funny, okay? The basic plot plays out in a nutshell like this: a group of careless high school kids get all drunk and shit faced one night, only to run over a wayward fisherman. After abusing the poor fuck by accident, the guy finally dies and the group drops him off a pier to get rid of the body. Sure enough, the kids are then stalked by a madman in a bad Halloween costume. So far we've got a mix of SCREAM and I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER, though it's done farcically, so it's not that bad. Sure enough, these diligent students of B. A. Corpse High School are soon showing up dead and it's up to awkward looking heroine Cindy Campbell (of course a play on Neve Campbell and her character in SCREAM) to figure out who the killer is before she and her friends become the "beef" in the local Chinese restaurant's beef lo mein! Cindy's also gotta deal with local gossip reporter and exploitationist Gail Hailstorm ("Saturday Night Live"'s Cheri O'Teri), who'll do anything (and anyone) to get the story behind the murders and hopefully make another money making book about the whole thing. Then again, everyone should just sit back and settle down, because as long as Deputy Doofy (the mentally defective parody of that jackass David "1-800-CALL-ATT!" Arquette) is on the job, that killer's got a date with the local jail!... riiiiiight, and in the immortal words of another famous Campbell, "and monkeys might fly out my butt!".

SCARY MOVIE doesn't just stop at parodies of the neo-slasher teenybopper crap genre, it also pokes fun at THE MATRIX, THE SIXTH SENSE, and that fucking "WASSSSUP!" commercials... I have no idea what product those were selling by the way, because all I can remember is those idiots screaming their stupidity into their telephones... what house needs that many phones to begin with?! Anyway, everything from the plots, to the killings, to the final unveiling of the killer(s) is a take on the big two shit pots (SCREAM and IKWYDLS) and though it's all meant in good fun, I prefer to think of it as mocking them both because both films are unwatchable and are responsible for the rise in horror's popularity recently, as well as the blatant downfall in it's quality. Hey, I'm a God, if I want to look at it as an angry mockery and not a light hearted parody, I'll look at it that way! Besides, it increases my enjoyment of the film, and anything I can use to make me enjoy this job for once is a good thing. Hey, you try watching SORORITY BABES IN THE SLIMEBALL BOWL-O-RAMA and TOTEM in the same day and see if it doesn't make you just a little jaded and desperate for some actual entertainment! Besides, some of SCARY MOVIE's jokes were pretty funny.

They could've cut down on a couple of the dick and fart jokes just a little, I mean, where else are you going to find a guy killed via a big penis being rammed through his ear! But, the stuff like making David L. Lander B.A. Corpse's Principal Squiggy was hilarious! For those of you not familiar with old skool sitcoms or SCREAM, allow me to explain. In SCREAM, Henry Winkler was cast as the principal. Of course, everyone knows Mr. Winkler as the Fonz from TV's "Happy Days". Well, David Lander play Squiggy the greased back mini-thug on "Lavern and Shirley", hence why it's a funny parody that he plays the principal here... now that I've explained it and ruined the whole joke, let's move on. Whether you're a fan of those dumb ass neo-slasher films, or a hard-bitten opponent of them like myself, or even if you just like immature "Beavis and Butt-Head" type humor, SCARY MOVIE should entertain, if even only mildly.

Keenan Ivory Wayans has shown his talent for comedy with his classic "In Living Color", which was like the black version of "Saturday Night Live", yet honkeys like myself weren't so alienated that we couldn't love it too! Wayans also parodied the Blaxploitation genre with I'M GONNA GET YOU SUCKA and the gangsta genre with DON'T BE A MENACE TO SOUTH CENTRAL WHILE DRINKING YOUR JUICE IN THE HOOD, both humorous parodies that did well in doing what they set out to do: make people who watch these movies and even people who don't get a laugh out of them. And, even though the horror genre isn't exactly dominated by African-American influence, Keenan does almost as well with SCARY MOVIE. And, even though I can't stand "the Wayans Bros." show (I think that, for the benefit of preserving west civilization, everything associated with the WB should BURN!) Shawn and Marlon Wayans can be funny when the money's right! Oh, and don't forget to check out AMISTAD II, not coming to theaters near you!

DVD X-tras: A few deleted scenes(of which the "Hop-a-long-Shorty" was the funniest); a Behind-the-Scenes featurette; theatrical trailer; and trailer for other Dimension Film releases GONE IN 60 SECONDS, DON'T BE A MENACE TO SOUTH CENTRAL WHILE DRINKING YOUR JUICE IN THE HOOD, SENSELESS, HELLREAISER: INFERNO, the SCARY MOVIE soundtrack and, excuse me while I lose my brunch (yeah, I eat brunch, got a problem with it hippy?!), the SCREAM boxed-set... Dimension likes to pull this shit on their DVDs... self promoting assholes.

Sequels: SCARY MOVIE 2

If You Liked This Flick, Check Out: SHREIK IF YOU KNOW WHAT I DID LAST FRIDAY THE 13TH or STUDENT BODIES