Oh no! After only 2 minutes into this movie, I am subjected to some terrifying, "happy-go-lucky" theme music, and "fish-eyed mutant Grover" Godzilla! But, despite that hideous opening note, let's continue, shall we? First off, there's a team of scientists on an isolated island, experimenting in weather control. Some stubborn, smart-assed reporter drops in from the sky, in pursuit of a story. Needless to say, he's about to get more than he bargained for! For instance, a big mantis stalks the jungles surrounding the camp, making noises like the "ch" in Jason Vorhees's "ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha"! But, on the plus side, there's a gorgeous native girl swimming around in the nearby lagoon! Hmmmm, several men on an island, with one native girl and no cops or women's rights extremists? Heh heh... Anyway, the white coats screw up big time, when one of their experiments results in a radioactive storm, bringing temperatures up to 200 degrees, creating mass flooding, and making the already HUGE Mantises BIGGER! A whole posse of the newly super-sized ("we do it Dave's way!") bugs then uses their enhanced strength to dig a large egg out of the side of a mountain. How they knew it was there is a mystery to me... The Gimantises ("leave it to a writer to think up a word like that") bust the egg open, but instead of finding a sickly and slime covered fetus, they find a fully developed creature, that looks like the bastard offspring of Godzilla and the Pillsbury Doughboy! After smacking the kid around a while, Godzilla makes his presence known, as he stomps his way in and fries the bugs with ease, saving the chubby little rascal. The reporter finally catches up to the islander chick who's been eluding him all this time, and the entire science crew moves their shit into her cave (the one she took refuge in during that radioactive storm that THEY started). Godzilla Junior gets some quick lessons from his estranged poppa, as he teaches him the ropes to being a giant, radioactive lizard, though instead of nuclear blasts like G has, G Jr. can just spout out radioactive smoke rings (I knew a girl who could do that... bet her boyfriend was always happy!). While daddy is off getting drunk or something, G Jr. does grow some balls, as he says the islander girl from some more Gimantis, but awakening the giant spider Spiga in the process! Spiga then decides to make G Jr. it's personal bitch, also wasting the last of the Gimantises himself! It's like survivor, "there are no friends here, only survivors!". Well, he then fucks up big time when he decides to challenge G and Son o' G, and though he gets a good eye shot on the big guy, he too gets toasted. Meanwhile, the scientists (yeah, you remember them right?) use their weather control device to make a blizzard on the island before escaping, leaving the father/son duo to hibernate. This is one of the better "old school" Godzilla movies, simply because of the amount of monster footage! Hey, what can I say, more monsters = better review! Besides, I just like big bugs! But, G Jr. got really annoying really quick. His cries sound like a puppy whimper, a jack-ass's "hee-haw", and an air raid siren! Plus, just his cutesy antics pissed me off. As for Godzilla himself, this is THE oddest version of him I've ever seen! He looks like my Uncle Tom (and no, this is not a racial reference to "Uncle Tom's Cabin" or anything, I actually have an Uncle Tom)! In closing, I'd like to state my opinion that Spiga's mouth looked like a big furry beaver (and I ain't talkin the ones with the teeth... 'least I hope I never see one with teeth *cringe*)! Now I'm done...

Sequels: Actually, the older series of Godzilla flicks never really connected with each other, so I guess they're technically not sequels...

If You Liked This Flick, Check Out: GORGO or DESTROY ALL MONSTERS