Ok, so the makers of this flick know how to start a movie. You give the audience a hot naked blonde (but damn those tan lines) getting OUT of bed and away from some stupid looking douche bag. Blondie and her 3 friends (but that makes 4! I thought it was supposed to be "THREE" ON A MEATHOOK!) go to a secluded lake for the weekend where (in cookie-cutter horror flick fashion) the girls get stranded and hitch a ride with some bumpkin (i.e. redneck, hick, extra from DELIVERANCE, "son of the soil") who lets them stay at his house for the night (much to the displeasure of his "Pa"). Not 5 minutes after they bed down for the night, some hairy armed guy in boots knifes Blondie as she bathes, shoots 2 of the other girls, and decapitates the fourth! 20 minutes?! That has to be a new record for movie length! I... oh damn... it's not over yet... Well, the next morning, Pa chastises Billy for "killing" the girls (though why do I think that Pa was the killer?). Billy, in dismay over what "he" did, goes downtown to see a movie and pick up a waitress in a bar (where the entertainment is a predominantly white funk band who "don't even like black licorice"). He wakes up the next morning, no recollection of what happened (though the waitress SAYS she didn't jump Lil' Billy), and Billy and the monotoned babe fall head over heels for each other. Oh, and while I'm at it, I think that Pa is also a cannibal... Well, Sharon (the date raping waitress) and her "friend" Becky stay the weekend with Billy (and his pink shirt and squeaky clean, white jeans). As Billy and Sharon are sharing their "first" time together, Pa sticks a pick axe in the Becky's guts (told ya). The next morning, Sharon finds out about the other girls (though Pa didn't exactly TRY hiding them) and he tries to get at Sharon, he inadvertently kills his wife (who Billy "killed" as a boy). Then Pa has a breakdown... but, a fat lawyer is kind enough to wrap up everything for us: turns out Ma was a cannibal. So, Pa had to hide her from society as he fed her poor passers-by for all these years. Pa just loved her too much to let the state take her away from him. But, now Pa's institutionalized and Billy and Sharon are still together. As you know, I already knew Pa was the killer, and I already knew there was cannibalism involved. But, the whole thing about Ma, THAT was the only thing that saved this movie from my left foot! La-di-freakin-da...

Sequels: None

If You Liked This Flick, Check Out: MOTHER'S DAY or THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE