And Jennifer Miro as "the Woman".... you mean THE woman!? Wow! That's like scoring the role of Hamlet in, well, "Hamlet"! "The Woman" is the most sought after female role in cinematic history! The makers of this movie really took a chance casting an unknown like Miro in this role after her critical flops as "Street Whore #3" and "Sodomy Victim"! Okay, enough blazing sarcasm for one day, let's get on with the review. Somebody sends slob named Mr. Jordan (another prestigious role) a little gift of a cursed TV set. The only thing it shows is this NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD rip-off, and it refuses to shut off. So, Jordan unplugs it and that night zombies waltz (well, they didn't really waltz, more of a strut actually) out of the set! The next morning the UPS guys return to claim the TV. It turns out it was supposed to go to the Museum of Occult Studies (yeah, understandable mistake: Mr. Jordan or Museum of Occult Studies...), but all they find is Jordan, dead as Christopher Lloyd's career. "3 months later" Zoe (a girl who's an aerobics major) and her slacker bro Jeff move into the house and set up while their 'rents are on vacation. Soon, some Texan comes knocking on their door, looking for the TV and instead gets a dose of Jeff's morning breath and a door slammed in his face. The TV then calls Jeff to the attic and he brings it downstairs. That night he turns it on and gets nicely baked before some hot blonde comes out of it, comes on to Jeff, then turns bitch and goes back into the set! Some guy called "the Garbage man" slits her throat (take that ya tease!) and tells Jeff to watch his ass and put the TV in the basement. Instead, he flushes his kind buds... stupid child. Next morning he puts the set in the basement and a zombie hand pops out! But, he sticks the thing in the garbage disposal and goes about his daily routine of slacking. The zombies (who now live in the nearby woods) meanwhile are picking off the occasional pedestrian and though they move like Romero zombies, a shot to the head won't stop 'em! The fat Texan guy returns, tells the siblings about the TV and it's inhabitants, then Jeff's new chick April (who's 'rents are dead now) moves in with him... lucky bastard.... at least, till one of the VIDEO DEAD snatches (heh heh) her up. Turns out the zombies kill the living out of jealousy... yeah, my life is really something to be jealous of. They can only be stopped one of two ways: make them think they're dead or lock them up in an enclosed area and let them eat each other... I hope they go with the second! Unfortunately Jeff and Tex attempt the first one as they try saving April, and although Jeff gets to live out his TCM (no, not Turner Classic Movies) fantasy, it don't work. The zombies realize they aren't dead, stick an arrow through Tex, kill April, and impale Jeff on his chainsaw. Good, I never liked any of them anyway. The undead Vid-heads then go back to the house to get Zoe. She (barely) outsmarts 'em by treating them like humans (which includes letting one of them make a pass at her), then trapping them in the basement with the promise of dancing. After 32 seconds of being trapped together, the walkin' corpi go wacky and chomp down on each other. The cast of ALIVE would put these zombies' self control to shame! The TV then takes back it's tenants, Zoe goes insane, and her 'rents commit her. At least they bring her a little present... the TV (what a dramatic and ironic ending... sure). What can I say but "what about the coconuts? what do I do with the coconuts?!".

Sequels: Nope

If You Liked This Flick, Check Out: NIGHT OF THE CREEPS or NIGHT LIFE