Yeah yeah, I know what you're thinking you greedy Son/Daughter of a Bitch, and here's my answer: "Because I said so jackal-ass!". Look, it's MY site, and if I wanna review a dark-comedy and label it under "Horror", then I'll do it by gum! Hell, if I review enough of them, maybe I'll make "Dark Comedy" it's own category. Besides, after sitting through shit like WITCHCRAFT and THE EXTERMINATOR, I need something entertaining up here! Anywayz, this is the story of Kyle, who's about to wed his love-MUFFin Laura (Cameron Diaz *wink**wink*). But, before that he must survive his bachelor party! Yep, his amigos Mike (the guy from PCU), Adam (Daniel Stern of C.H.U.D. "fame"), Boyd (Christian Slater... uggh), and Chuck (damned if I know) drag him off to Vegas to get drunk, snort coke, watch Ultimate Fighting Championship on a huge TV, and (of course) FUCK AN ASIAN STRIPPER! Wahoo! However, as Mike is taking his turn fucking her in the bathroom (his bare-ass is enough to make this legitimate "horror"!) he accidentally spikes her skull on a towel hook! This is where it gets weird... Instead of uncovering their illegal activities to the cops, the boys decide to dismember the whore and bury her tight little ass in the dessert! Of course, while freaking out over it, a hotel security guard stumbles onto the situation, and gets a corkscrew in the chest for his troubles! Now they have 2 bodies to hack up, pack into suitcases, then reassemble (funny scene I gare-own-tee!) and bury. Finally, after an overblown and drawn out prayer, the guys head home, never to speak of the mishap again... yeah right. Everyone gets paranoid, going insane, bickering, all on the verge of breakdown (especially Adam). Soon, Mike and Adam escalate their sibling rivalry (didn't I tell you? yeah, they're brothers) a "tad" too far as Mike T-Bones Adam's mini van... with Adam splattered between the autos! This scene was particularly impressive heh heh. On his deathbed, Adam confesses what happened to his wife Lois, whom Boyd later kills (after one hell of a man-on-woman rumble). Boyd also isolates a drunken and retarded Mike and shoots him (his tongue was getting a little loose), covering it up as a suicide. Kyle and Laura inherit Lois and Adam's property (their 2 pain-in-the-ass kids) and Kyle snaps, telling Laura everything that happened. But, this isn't about to dampen the wedding plans, as Laura crusades on, making sure everything goes on perfect! Even when she finds Boyd and Kyle going at it (fighting, not fucking) on the big day, she just smashes in Boyd's skull with a coat tree and stuff him in the john (can it get more humiliating?). But, not unlike that "why won't she just lay down and die?!" bitch Cher, Boyd refuses to give up... until Chuck inadvertently whacks him in the face with a door and knocks him down a staircase, breaking his neck! After the ceremony, Kyle and Chuck go off to bury Boyd. But, Laura wants Kyle to take out Chuck too. Can he do it? Nope, Kyle pussies out and on the way home, he and Chuck (and the dog) get into a car wreck. Where does this leave everyone? Heh heh, it leaves Laura caring for 2 snot nosed punks, 2 paraplegics, and a crippled dog! It ends with her rolling in the street holding a toilet brush... God this movie was funny! Now, don't give me any shit for putting it here, or I'm gonna be pissed! SERIOUSLY! Damn sand dune sodomizers...

Sequels: Nope

If You Liked This Flick, Check Out: HEATHERS or SHALLOW GRAVE